The One-Star Amazon Reviewer

Posted on January 7, 2013 3:00 pm

So I finally got a bad review to my new book, though it looks like he didn’t actually read it. In fact, looking at his other reviews, this guy seems to do nothing but go around and give one star reviews to conservative books. It’s kinda sad; I want to give him a hug. He is just one of many sad creatures on the internet, though. What did people like him do before the internet? Write on bathroom stalls?

Anyway, if you haven’t yet, please give How to Fix Everything in America Forever: The Plan to Keep America Awesome an Amazon review (I assume you’ve bought it; it would be silly not to).

BTW, I like how Amazon notes the most popular highlights. That’s nice feedback for an author.

Send to Kindle
1 Star (Hated it)2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (Awesome) (3 votes, average: 4.67 out of 5)

9 Responses to “The One-Star Amazon Reviewer”

  1. plentyobailouts says:

    One star is a bad thing? dang.

    Osama is too busy giving everyone phones and unicorns, so he hasn’t gotten around to giving me an e-reader. Soon, he says, just after he cuts taxes and balances the budget.

  2. Rock Throwing Peasant says:

    Let the mockery commence!

  3. James says:

    I you had kept your promise to give away a free pound of bacon with each book sold you wouldn’t have any negative reviews. Even conservative-hating idiots love a good strip of bacon.

  4. Genghis Khen says:

    I marked the review as: not helpful. That’ll teach him.

  5. Bunkerhillbilly says:

    Clearly the poor sod was too stingy to pony up for the leatherbound, hardback edition, hand inscribed in gold-leaf, and encased in a teak and ironwood presentation box (which doubles nicely as a humidor). I also enjoyed the bonus audiobook…Henry Rollins was an interesting choice for a reader. ( I guess the publisher couldn’t meet Gary Sinise’s “ask”?)

  6. Crabby Old Bat says:

    Where’s the button for “This reviewer is an @ss!”? I’m sick of civility. Reviewer flame wars!!!

  7. CTCompromise says:

    “What did people like him do before the internet?”

    Since the internet took off, how many “heavy breather” phone calls have you received?…I’m just sayin’

  8. innominatus says:

    >>>(I assume you’ve bought it; it would be silly not to)

    Of all of Frank J.’s admirable qualities, his mastery of the semicolon is at the top of the list.

  9. Bunkerhillbilly says:

    Since the internet took off, how many “heavy breather” phone calls have you received?

    Er…now it’s “heavy breather” Skype-ing.

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