What If He Only Plays a Doctor on TV?

As part of his new gun control plan, Obama wants doctors to “talk to their patients about gun safety”.

Yes, and be sure to ask your local range master for tips on treating dry, itchy skin.

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  1. Patient: “So, aren’t you going to ask me about my guns?”

    Doctor: “Why, are they sick, too?”

    Patient: “No, but President Obama thinks you should.”

    Doctor: “The President is sick. He’s why I’m going out of business.”

    Patient: “That’s sick!”

    Doctor: “Yup.”

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  2. Veterinarian: “So, do you have any guns at home?”

    DamnCat: “I can hook you up. What are you looking for?”

    (pause)

    Veterinarian: “No, I meant you. Your guns.”

    DamnCat: “I could tell you but then I’d have to kill you.”

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  3. That will come right after the doctor talks to their patient about driving etiquette, internet safety, preventive home maintenance, stranger-danger, fiscal responsibility, and the importance of keeping the Democrats in power….

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  4. Doctor: So, do you have any guns at home?

    Patient: Why?

    Doctor: Because the CDC estimates there are over 31,000 deaths per year in this country involving guns in some manner.

    Patient: Did the CDC compare those to deaths caused by doctors? I means, if you google “iatrogenisis” (= “originating from a physician”), Wikipedia notes that “there are, in the U.S., estimated deaths per year of:
    12,000 due to unnecessary surgery
    7,000 due to medication errors in hospitals
    20,000 due to other errors in hospitals
    80,000 due to nosocomial (hospital-acquired) infections
    106,000 due to non-error, negative effects of drugs

    Based on these figures, iatrogenesis may cause 225,000 deaths per year in the United States (excluding recognizable error).[17]

    These estimates are lower than those in an earlier report, which would suggest from 230,000 to 284,000 iatrogenic deaths.[17]

    These figures . . . are based on recorded deaths in hospitals rather than in the general population.”

    Doctor: Well, smartass, enjoy the rest of this exam.

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