Why Don’t We Just Make Guns Less Scary-Looking?

Posted on January 17, 2013 11:00 am

So Obama has made a bunch of new gun control proposals which, if successful, means the next time someone shoots up a school, we’ll also be able to also get him on illegal possession of a high capacity magazine. Which accomplishes…

Well, let’s stop pretending any of this accomplishing anything. I find the gun-dumb use a lot of terms they think mean something like “assault weapon” or “high-powered weapon” when all it really means to them is “a gun that looks really scary.” Maybe we should just compromise and make much less scary-looking weapons with like goofy googily eyes on them and butterflies painted on the sides and give them names like “The Hugger” and “Happy Fun Bunny”. How much better they’ll all sleep at night knowing that at the next mass shooting people will only be killed with non-scary looking guns.

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25 Responses to “Why Don’t We Just Make Guns Less Scary-Looking?”

  1. Basil says:

    The Happy Fun Bunny is a lightweight, air-cooled, gas-operated, magazine-fed rifle designed for either automatic or semi-automatic fire through use of a selector lever. It has an effective range of 800 meters for an area target.

  2. blarg says:

    since a lot of guns now use a lot of polymer parts, why not mold them in primary Fisher-Price colors?

  3. Doug says:

    Can you get a SCAR in Pink?

    Actually you can, but who would want one?
    Even all tricked out, pink isn’t very scary.

    Women would go for it though.

  4. Chip says:

    Blarg is onto something…. the wife said she would love a barbie-pink hand gun.

    Or a deep red diamond flake like on the speed boats.

    I personally wouldn’t mind a deep mahogany wood grain. And in plastic I wouldn’t have to care for it like it was wood. I’m lazy with certain things.

  5. AwesometificAmerican says:

    Let us not forget that this is also an assault on private property rights. Already we have private land being taken by immanent domain, there are those pushing to make it illegal for you to resell that video game you bought and hated to a private seller, same with old text books and God help you if you try selling a used CD or DVD. Now they want to regulate your selling of your personal firearms. Make no mistake the move against the 2nd Amendment is also a move against every amendment in the Bill of Rights.

    Paranoid rant over, now get back to the funny.

  6. Carolynp says:

    I think parenthood has profoundly changed you.

  7. Jimmy says:

    “Oh, look dear, little Johnny’s playing with your Happy Fun Bunny. It’s so cute!”

    *BANG*

  8. blarg says:

    from now on I will refer to my carry gun as the Springfield Happy Fun Bunny

  9. Harvey says:

    I’ll call my shooter “My Little Glockie”. Sounds a lot friendlier.

  10. Scott says:

    That proposal makes me think of this: Anikin’s Happy Place

    And this: Meet the Pyro.

  11. blarg says:

    my gun doesn’t hold “rounds” it holds “love pellets”

  12. blarg says:

    we need higher capacity mags so our guns can hold more love!

  13. Jimmy says:

    And I’m going to call my favorite double barrel, “Little Jimmy.”

  14. Dohtimes says:

    The new test is: Does your gun look scarier than Little Jimmy but less scary than Janeane Garofalo?

  15. shane says:

    i give you the Hello Kitty AR-15

  16. Jimmy says:

    “I have someone I want you to meet.”

    “Who is it, Jimmy?”

    “Little Jimmy.”

    *BANG!*

  17. NO_MO_BAMA says:

    Why not just put a picture of someone holding a gun to their head with a red circle and line through it on every gun? If it’s kept me from cutting my fingers off all these years, should work with guns too.

  18. NO_MO_BAMA says:

    Like this

    Semi-automatic ??? O_O

  19. blarg says:

    high-powered, assault-style, semi-auto nail driver…..BAN!!!

  20. NO_MO_BAMA says:

    If superglue had one, things might be different.

  21. Writer says:

    I like the one I carry when I take my little dog for a walk, but I suppose it will be banned next.

    Its nonlethal.

    It works well.

    Its an ammonia-filled power squirt gun. It repels animals and people that I shoot it at.

    On the other hand, at home I keep a number of other choices that will reach to the proerty line (I have an acreage), and for personal protection a sawed-off double-12, in case I have to shoot in the dark.

    No one has ever asked me to demonstrate it.

  22. Jimmy says:

    Writer, I used to do that ammonia trick as a kid with dogs that charged my bike. It’s terrific.

    And of course, as a matter of principal, squirt all Cats!

  23. Denise says:

    If anyone is interested, Charter Arms sells colored guns, including that god-awful pink. (Why do people assume women want pink?) Anyway, they are anodized aluminum frames. Mine is lavender. They also have striped ones. That shouldn’t scare anybody.

  24. Bunkerhillbilly says:

    Charter Arms sells colored guns.

    Erm….in the event that the above is not racist…(“colored guns”? Didn’t they stop referring to them as “colored” back in the 60s?)…I’d like to have Charter do a run in Black Watch plaid to match my kilt and trews. It’d be the talk of the St. Patrick’s parties.

    Perhaps a series of weapons done up in the owner’s university colors? The blue and gold of Notre Dame. Harvard crimson.

    If they do Hello-Kitty, perhaps something in Papa Smurf? The Betty Boop Desert Eagle?

  25. IMAO » Blog Archive » My Worst Fear Is That This Is How Obama Actually Pictures Himself Handling the Economy links:

    [...] [High Praise! to Scott] [...]

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