Why Don’t We Just Make Guns Less Scary-Looking?
So Obama has made a bunch of new gun control proposals which, if successful, means the next time someone shoots up a school, we’ll also be able to also get him on illegal possession of a high capacity magazine. Which accomplishes…
Well, let’s stop pretending any of this accomplishing anything. I find the gun-dumb use a lot of terms they think mean something like “assault weapon” or “high-powered weapon” when all it really means to them is “a gun that looks really scary.” Maybe we should just compromise and make much less scary-looking weapons with like goofy googily eyes on them and butterflies painted on the sides and give them names like “The Hugger” and “Happy Fun Bunny”. How much better they’ll all sleep at night knowing that at the next mass shooting people will only be killed with non-scary looking guns.
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January 17th, 2013 at 11:36 am
The Happy Fun Bunny is a lightweight, air-cooled, gas-operated, magazine-fed rifle designed for either automatic or semi-automatic fire through use of a selector lever. It has an effective range of 800 meters for an area target.
January 17th, 2013 at 11:36 am
since a lot of guns now use a lot of polymer parts, why not mold them in primary Fisher-Price colors?
January 17th, 2013 at 11:38 am
Can you get a SCAR in Pink?
Actually you can, but who would want one?
Even all tricked out, pink isn’t very scary.
Women would go for it though.
January 17th, 2013 at 11:42 am
Blarg is onto something…. the wife said she would love a barbie-pink hand gun.
Or a deep red diamond flake like on the speed boats.
I personally wouldn’t mind a deep mahogany wood grain. And in plastic I wouldn’t have to care for it like it was wood. I’m lazy with certain things.
January 17th, 2013 at 11:46 am
Let us not forget that this is also an assault on private property rights. Already we have private land being taken by immanent domain, there are those pushing to make it illegal for you to resell that video game you bought and hated to a private seller, same with old text books and God help you if you try selling a used CD or DVD. Now they want to regulate your selling of your personal firearms. Make no mistake the move against the 2nd Amendment is also a move against every amendment in the Bill of Rights.
Paranoid rant over, now get back to the funny.
January 17th, 2013 at 12:12 pm
I think parenthood has profoundly changed you.
January 17th, 2013 at 12:15 pm
“Oh, look dear, little Johnny’s playing with your Happy Fun Bunny. It’s so cute!”
*BANG*
January 17th, 2013 at 12:20 pm
from now on I will refer to my carry gun as the Springfield Happy Fun Bunny
January 17th, 2013 at 12:24 pm
I’ll call my shooter “My Little Glockie”. Sounds a lot friendlier.
January 17th, 2013 at 12:26 pm
That proposal makes me think of this: Anikin’s Happy Place
And this: Meet the Pyro.
January 17th, 2013 at 12:29 pm
my gun doesn’t hold “rounds” it holds “love pellets”
January 17th, 2013 at 12:29 pm
we need higher capacity mags so our guns can hold more love!
January 17th, 2013 at 12:38 pm
And I’m going to call my favorite double barrel, “Little Jimmy.”
January 17th, 2013 at 1:26 pm
The new test is: Does your gun look scarier than Little Jimmy but less scary than Janeane Garofalo?
January 17th, 2013 at 1:41 pm
i give you the Hello Kitty AR-15…
January 17th, 2013 at 1:43 pm
“I have someone I want you to meet.”
“Who is it, Jimmy?”
“Little Jimmy.”
*BANG!*
January 17th, 2013 at 2:15 pm
Why not just put a picture of someone holding a gun to their head with a red circle and line through it on every gun? If it’s kept me from cutting my fingers off all these years, should work with guns too.
January 17th, 2013 at 2:27 pm
Like this
Semi-automatic ??? O_O
January 17th, 2013 at 2:44 pm
high-powered, assault-style, semi-auto nail driver…..BAN!!!
January 17th, 2013 at 3:35 pm
If superglue had one, things might be different.
January 17th, 2013 at 5:21 pm
I like the one I carry when I take my little dog for a walk, but I suppose it will be banned next.
Its nonlethal.
It works well.
Its an ammonia-filled power squirt gun. It repels animals and people that I shoot it at.
On the other hand, at home I keep a number of other choices that will reach to the proerty line (I have an acreage), and for personal protection a sawed-off double-12, in case I have to shoot in the dark.
No one has ever asked me to demonstrate it.
January 17th, 2013 at 5:31 pm
Writer, I used to do that ammonia trick as a kid with dogs that charged my bike. It’s terrific.
And of course, as a matter of principal, squirt all Cats!
January 17th, 2013 at 8:14 pm
If anyone is interested, Charter Arms sells colored guns, including that god-awful pink. (Why do people assume women want pink?) Anyway, they are anodized aluminum frames. Mine is lavender. They also have striped ones. That shouldn’t scare anybody.
January 17th, 2013 at 8:44 pm
Charter Arms sells colored guns.
Erm….in the event that the above is not racist…(“colored guns”? Didn’t they stop referring to them as “colored” back in the 60s?)…I’d like to have Charter do a run in Black Watch plaid to match my kilt and trews. It’d be the talk of the St. Patrick’s parties.
Perhaps a series of weapons done up in the owner’s university colors? The blue and gold of Notre Dame. Harvard crimson.
If they do Hello-Kitty, perhaps something in Papa Smurf? The Betty Boop Desert Eagle?
January 24th, 2013 at 10:00 pm
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