Daaamn gurl, heaven must be missin an angel cuz you got nine swords, a face obscured by light, and a voice like peals of thunder.
— Zack Parsons (@sexyfacts4u) January 7, 2013
Parents, stop giving your kids these crazy names.I just found a love letter my son wrote to a girl named “Steven!”
— Danny Zuker (@DannyZuker) January 7, 2013
I hope they minted two of those trillion dollar coins, because Uncle Sam will look weird with just one over an eye at his funeral.
— -ls/cm (@isfullofcrap) January 7, 2013
“I’m on the phone with the studio right now!They want to know the title! Yes, right now!Come on, think!!””Um, uh…Gangster Squad?”
— Alex Baze (@bazecraze) January 7, 2013