What do a bucket and a woman have in common? Before 1928 neither had the right to vote. The bucket still can’t.
— Anti Joke Apple (@antijokeapple) January 18, 2013
The secret to keeping your sanity when working from home is to just let the toaster think it won the argument.
— FrancescoMarciuliano (@fmarciuliano) January 18, 2013
Schumer to gun shops: stop selling while we discuss gun regs. How about Congress stops spending while we discuss govt budget cuts? #tcot
— Fred Thompson (@fredthompson) January 18, 2013
“Republican Mark Sanford Republican Governor caught cheating as a Republican.” …….”Former Mayor Ray Nagin Indicted”
— Wittorical (@Wittorical) January 18, 2013
Lance Armstrong should be applauded for being able to ride a bike so well on drugs. I tried it once. Hit a cat and fell into a river.
— Justin Duncan (@TheJustinDuncan) January 19, 2013
Every boy band song should have a part where they realize they’re singing about the same girl & get mad at each other.
— Mike Leffingwell (@mikeleffingwell) January 21, 2013