Send to Kindle
[High Praise! to Pascale]
[YouTube direct link] (Viewer #944,995)
You’ve seen the Joe Biden shotgun interview before, but you need to sit through it again. I know it’s painful, but it’s a necessary preamble to what follows. Tough it out and just wait for the fun to start.
Unrelated question: the hapless Google intern who drew the short straw for the event (sitting to the left of Joe)… is that a nerd or a lesbian?
In John Kerry’s first major foreign policy speech he discussed global warming.
Shouldn’t he be addressing the warming of the earth under North Korea’s nuclear test?
Russian TV only has one channel and it’s just a bear throwing grenades into a well.
— Dan Duvall (@lazerdoov) February 27, 2013
My favorite question to ask at The Apple Store “Is anything here for sale?”
— jonathan katz (@jonathan_katz) February 27, 2013
Our nation’s been through tough times but historians agree things would be much worse had the Vespucci’s named their son Gaylord.
— Danny Zuker (@DannyZuker) February 27, 2013
Search of the day:”registered sex offender warlock.”Worst dual-class ever.
— Popehat (@Popehat) February 27, 2013
“It’s not my cup of tea.” -guy who drank from the wrong tea
— Jon Friedman (@friedmanjon) February 28, 2013
A government auditor said the IRS wasted millions of dollars on smartphones that employees don’t need or even use.
Gee, that’s a shame. They could’ve spent it on racks and thumbscrews.
Aw. Jonah Goldberg called me a “writer.” I still think of myself as just “some guy on the internet,” but perhaps I have leveled-up.
Anyway, it’s nice to be on a list of funny conservatives. I really think we’re in a funny conservative Renaissance — mainly due to the internet which allows more conservatives to get their voice out there who wouldn’t have a platform before. And conservatives have more potential to be funny as they just don’t take politics as seriously as the left. While there are some, well… overly-dramatic conservatives, most of us have more important things to worry about that politics and can be a bit more detached. For the left, everyone’s lives and civil rights are on the line if we don’t raise taxes on the racists and we better do something about global warming change now or we’ll all die! Thus, there’s a certain dourness that interrupts their humor.
And really, why should conservatives ever worry about politics? If worse comes to worse, we have all the guns.
Put this on the list of things we are glad are extinct: Sharks with buzzsaws for mouths:
Apparently, the weird spiral jaw of the helicoprion was found a long time ago, but scientists were never sure what exactly to make of it and what the creature actually looked like. For instance, here’s one attempted depiction I found on the net:
But now for some reason the scientists are pretty sure it looked like a shark with its bottom jaw basically a buzzsaw. It’s a shark with a buzzsaw for a mouth. Don’t know how that went extinct. Maybe it dominated the whole animal kingdom so much that eventually it just got bored. Perhaps it built rocket ships to attack other planets in space. There are numerous theories, all as likely correct as the other. You can never be sure with buzzsaw-mouthed sharks. I just hope we have the wisdom to mount rocket launchers on dinosaurs as a defense in case they ever come back.