Buzzsaw-Mouthed Sharks
Put this on the list of things we are glad are extinct: Sharks with buzzsaws for mouths:
All it needs is a laser mounted on its head and it will be the most fearsome creature ever.
Apparently, the weird spiral jaw of the helicoprion was found a long time ago, but scientists were never sure what exactly to make of it and what the creature actually looked like. For instance, here’s one attempted depiction I found on the net:
“Duh…”
But now for some reason the scientists are pretty sure it looked like a shark with its bottom jaw basically a buzzsaw. It’s a shark with a buzzsaw for a mouth. Don’t know how that went extinct. Maybe it dominated the whole animal kingdom so much that eventually it just got bored. Perhaps it built rocket ships to attack other planets in space. There are numerous theories, all as likely correct as the other. You can never be sure with buzzsaw-mouthed sharks. I just hope we have the wisdom to mount rocket launchers on dinosaurs as a defense in case they ever come back.
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February 28th, 2013 at 1:10 pm
This is a B-movie waiting to happen – “Buzz Jaw!”
February 28th, 2013 at 1:13 pm
Since one of the scientist’s name is “Ray Troll,” I’m willing to dismiss this as pure speculation
February 28th, 2013 at 1:33 pm
The descendants of these fearsome piscine beasts can be found amongst the membership of the 50 state bar associations.
February 28th, 2013 at 1:36 pm
As Bill Engvall says, Maybe they just found a Dork Shark.
February 28th, 2013 at 1:45 pm
That species works for Scotty Evil. It’s nearest relative, a species with frikkin’ laser beams, works for Dr. Evil.
February 28th, 2013 at 2:02 pm
It is unlikely that they were nagged into extinction by moms constantly telling their kids to chew their food.
February 28th, 2013 at 2:28 pm
Is that the Swiss Army Knife of sharks? Where’s the bottle opener, screw driver and nail file? Oh, I see… one tool does it all. I’m postponing lunch.
February 28th, 2013 at 3:43 pm
Prolly lost work to the more portable sawhark.
February 28th, 2013 at 3:49 pm
Perhaps it went extinct because it ate itself – kind of like the Republican Party.
February 28th, 2013 at 5:05 pm
Okay, but is it more fearsome than Teh Fred Thompson?
(LOL Jimmy #9, no kidding!)
February 28th, 2013 at 7:00 pm
And the Circular Saw was born. Another human tool, adapted from nature, kinda like Velcro or Joe Biden.
February 28th, 2013 at 10:09 pm
I, for one, welcome our new buzzsaw-mouthed shark overlords; they can’t be much worse than Chicago politicians.
March 1st, 2013 at 1:05 am
So, it’s an ugly creature that finds it painful to keep it’s mouth shut. Let’s rename it the Pelosi Shark.
March 1st, 2013 at 1:42 am
7.jimmy: well there are hammerheads and sawfish, and some shark eggs are shaped like drill bits. too bad there’s no such thing as a construction manager fish…