Home Security: Southern Style

[High Praise! to Freedom Is Just Another Word]

Send to Kindle
1 Star (Hated it)2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (Awesome) (18 votes, average: 4.94 out of 5)


  1. It works better if there’s an actual body in the yard. Or part of one.

    For those who dwell in the exurbs, removed from the opportunity to create a carcass out of a formerly-raging Occupier or random neo-Hippie, certain medical supply houses do sell human skeletons.

    Scatter the skull, ribs, and a few vertebrae about the front or side yard for maximum effect.

    Opportunities for comedy will abound: you can mention how you want the dogs to have something to chew on…or, if well-intentioned Mormons or Jehovah’s Witnesses ring your doorbell, talk about how it was ever so regrettable what happend to the last poor soul who tried to offer a copy of The Watchtower, while giving a seemingly painful lingering glance at the skull resting on its side beneath the rhododendrons.

    It also helps to have a looped digital track of assorted Rotts and Great Danes in full-throated barking, baying and snarling.


  2. Harvey, the famous picture of Malcolm X standing by the window with a rifle on his hip might make for a good LOLBama choice. I seem to remember Huey Newton was pretty vocal about black people being armed also. Of course they were probably shooting skeet or something.



Comments are closed.