Home Security: Southern Style

[High Praise! to Freedom Is Just Another Word]

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5 Comments

  1. It works better if there’s an actual body in the yard. Or part of one.

    For those who dwell in the exurbs, removed from the opportunity to create a carcass out of a formerly-raging Occupier or random neo-Hippie, certain medical supply houses do sell human skeletons.

    Scatter the skull, ribs, and a few vertebrae about the front or side yard for maximum effect.

    Opportunities for comedy will abound: you can mention how you want the dogs to have something to chew on…or, if well-intentioned Mormons or Jehovah’s Witnesses ring your doorbell, talk about how it was ever so regrettable what happend to the last poor soul who tried to offer a copy of The Watchtower, while giving a seemingly painful lingering glance at the skull resting on its side beneath the rhododendrons.

    It also helps to have a looped digital track of assorted Rotts and Great Danes in full-throated barking, baying and snarling.

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  2. Harvey, the famous picture of Malcolm X standing by the window with a rifle on his hip might make for a good LOLBama choice. I seem to remember Huey Newton was pretty vocal about black people being armed also. Of course they were probably shooting skeet or something.

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