Maybe Obama SHOULDN’T Let His Imaginary Son Play Football

In an interview with The New Republic magazine, President Obama said “if I had a son, I’d have to think long and hard before I let him play football”.

If he had Obama’s build, the coach would probably feel the same.

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  1. He was thought to be the perfect, most physically gifted waterboy ever by his HS football coach. You could hang a five gallon bucket of water on each ear and have his hands free to pickpocket and purse snatch the fans, but he would always somehow get a bucket stuck on his head.

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  2. If Obama had a son he’d be thrown off the team for doing drugs and would have to sit home getting high and eating Skittles.

    That brings us to an interesting hypothetical: does anyone think his daughters, enrolled at a posh private school, have sampled high-grade dope yet?

    If they have, what would their father’s reaction be? Thundering around the room, in the highest of dudgeons, inveighing to his sweet innocents against the eeeevils of drugs?

    Or would he try to “intercept” or raid their little stashes in the residence section of the White House?

    Barry/Dad: [deep, rasping inhalation] Whoa, Sasha, that’s some good stuff…whattaya call it?

    Sasha/Daughter: [giggling] Dad, that’s the new “Googly-Moogly”…it kicks out a lotta smoke!

    Barry/Dad: I gotta try this in my new, custom shotgun bong…from now on we’ll call this “Black Powder Skeet Load” and we’ll tell the press we all like to shoot the “skeet”. Oh, and don’t tell your Mother about this, she’ll have me eating broccoli and kale for breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks for the rest of the year if she knew. It’ll be our little secret.

    Sasha/Daughter: [giggles] Ok, Dad, only if you stop bogarting the stuff, and buy me a purple Maybach like Beyonce has for my birthday.

    Barry/Dad: [passes the choom to the left hand side-dejectedly] Sasha, damn, girl…you don’t play, do you!

    Sasha/Daughter: [laughs loudly before inhaling deeply] and…um, Dad, Malia knows too so you should think about buying her a cigarette boat or a helicopter ’cause she’s getting tired of flying up with Mom to Martha’s Vineyard or Long Island to hook up with her friends to party with P Diddy and Li’l Wayne.

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