Pluto’s moons

Posted on February 13, 2013 9:00 am
Photo: NASA

Folks need help naming Pluto’s moons.

Actually, they don’t any help at all. Scientists and astronomers and such have had no problem naming planets, moons, or other celestial objects before, and they really don’t have any trouble now. They want to pacify people who got all ticked off over the demotion of Pluto from planet to dwarf planet.

Or, maybe, they just want to get attention or something. Well, they got mine.

There’s a Website that is set up for the purpose of naming two of Pluto’s moons. Now, in case you didn’t know, Pluto has five moons. Maybe it has more, but they only know about five. They discovered Charon in 1978. I remember that. At the time, they had no real idea just how big Pluto was. They figured it was probably about the size of Earth, though I was never really quite sure why. But, the discovery of Charon, and all the math that led to, came up with the idea that Pluto was a lot smaller than people thought.

Then, they discovered more moons in 2005. They named them Nix and Hydra. Then, they discovered two more, in 2011 and 2012, respectively. They haven’t named them yet. And, according to the Laws of Science, Pluto can’t bring the moons home from the hospital until they have a name. Or something.

So, the Website Pluto Rocks (get it?) has been set up to name the two moons. Currently, the frontrunners are Styx and Cerberus. Why a late ’70s rock band would get a moon named after them is something I don’t understand. Maybe Come Sail Away is a lot better song than I realized.

As for Cerebus, that’s a dog. Which is kinda weird, since Pluto is Mickey Mouse’s dog. Can a dog have a dog? I suppose if it’s a three-headed dog, no one would complain. For long.

Anyway, most of the names on the ballot are names you’d expect, like Persephone, Hercules, Orpheus, and Barack.

Wait. Barack isn’t on the list. But they do have a write-in ballot available. Maybe I’ll write in a name. It damn sure won’t be Barack. But, what should I write in? Or, what would you write in?

What should be the names of Pluto’s moons?

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32 Responses to “Pluto’s moons”

  1. DamnCat says:

    “They want to pacify people who got all ticked off over the demotion of Pluto from planet to dwarf planet. ”

    I believe the acceptable phrase is “little-person planet”.

    Also, it is offensive to refer the recognition of this planet’s little-personhood as a “demotion”.

  2. DamnCat says:

    Names: Mullins and Zappa

  3. Harvey says:

    Rebo and Zooty (Zoot! Zoot!)

  4. FormerHostage says:

    * Michael Moore

    * Roseanne

    * Plutette

  5. Matt Musson says:

    Back in my day, we hand 9 planets and everybody had a job!

  6. Conservatarian says:

    Sittin’ on this bar stool
    Talkin’ like a damn fool
    About why Pluto’s not a planet anymore

  7. HokieGomer says:

    Styx and Cerebus are from the early 80’s movie Clash of the Titans. Styx was the river they crossed with the creepy-skeleton ferryman and Cerebus was that 3-headed dog Perseus worked over. Face it, it’s all the nerds running the show now.

  8. rodney dill says:


  9. FormerHostage says:

    * Bambi & Thumper
    * Sunny & Warmer
    * Beer & Bacon
    * Death & Taxes
    * Katie Perry

  10. Jimmy says:

    Since Pluto’s not a “planet” anymore, why do it’s moons need names? Like we’re going to name every useless clump of rock in the Kuiper Belt? Sounds like a program to give to Nasa’s Muslim outreach director.

  11. DamnCat says:

    Jimmy says:
    Sounds like a program to give to Nasa’s Muslim outreach director.

    No – he’d name them all Mohammed.

  12. Jimmy says:

    That would be fine, DamnCat. Then NASA could append an alphanumeric designator like they do anyway and everyone is happy. The Muslims would then be fixated on the rocks they’ve named and stop sploding stuff on Earth.

    “Mohammed BS2343 – Mine! Mine! Mine! Mine! Mine! Mine! Allah Akbar!”

  13. Ray says:

    Dumb & Dumber
    Since Pluto’s not a “planet” anymore

  14. Grand Larsen E. says:

    Butt and Hole. In other words, who gives a crap?

  15. storm1911 says:

    I would say Matthews and Maddow, but the new moons would need to be circling the seventh planet.

  16. Greg says:

    0bama-cause he’s about as far from Earth’s reality as one can get.

  17. Marc says:

    If Pluto is no longer a planet is it even allowed to have moons? Seems there should be a law or something.

  18. FredKey says:

    Left cheek, Right cheek

  19. Doug says:

    #4 and #5

  20. Shawn says:

    Mickey and Minnie!!!!

  21. Marc says:

    #18, I think those are, or should be, the moons of Uranus not Pluto.

  22. Crabby Old Bat says:

    Buttercup and RUS (Rock of Unusual Size)

  23. John S says:

    Cheech & Chong
    Beavis & Butthead

  24. Dohtimes says:

    Sun Myung Moon and Keith Moon, just to confuse things a bit.

  25. plentyobailouts says:

    So Pluto is telling Jupiter all your moons belongz to us?

    Would they be moons or near dwarf planet asteroids?

    Why should Pluto’s moons get named? Its not even a planet. Our moon has never been made and with the exception of mooseslimes and democrats, we are an awesome planet!

  26. Jimmy says:

    @plentyobailouts: Our moon’s name is “Luna.” Really.

    And our sun’s name is “Sol.”

  27. CTCompromise says:

    Tom Servo and Crow T. Robot

  28. NoMoBama says:


  29. Veeshir says:

    Somehow Monopoly had an internet poll where the cat beat Ron Paul, but I have faith in Paulistas.

    The moons will be named Ron and Paul.

  30. Bearcatty says:

    Tick and Flea.

    Pluto’s a dog, dammit.

  31. CTCompromise says:

    Spay and Neuter

  32. Keln says:

    Pluto is the mythological god of the underworld (aka Hades), Charon is the ferryman, Nyx is the goddess of night and mother of death, and Hydra was the creature that guarded the underwater entrance to the underworld.

    Which makes the names “Styx”, the river that separates life and death, and “Cerberus”, the guardian of the gates of the underworld, perfect names to fit in with the death theme.

    Or, equally apropos with the death theme would be the Greek “Oikonomos” and “Ergasiae”.

    Which are “Economy” and “Jobs”, respectively.

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