Random Thoughts: Pope, Taxes, and Bicycles

Posted on February 12, 2013 9:27 am

They need a new pope? How much does that pay?

I want to be the first to nominate Mr. T as the new pope. The man does know compassion. Hence his pitying of fools.

How about two popes: one black and one white and at first they don’t get along but eventually they learn to work together to get the job done.

We all like to laugh at Joe Biden, but in reality, Dick Cheney is still vice president, right? I assume he’s the one controlling the drones.

The Dems “balanced approach” to the deficit is to say the phrase “balanced approach” a lot while asking for more tax hikes.

Hey, bicyclists, is there anyway you could ride those somewhere away from where the big boys are trying to drive cars?

Was the main complaint about health care how it was way too cheap? Because otherwise I don’t get Obamacare.

Joe Scarborough sounds weirdly like a Republican when attacking Dems on runaway spending.

Seems like there are few things more useless than listening to a politician speak.

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13 Responses to “Random Thoughts: Pope, Taxes, and Bicycles”

  1. AwesometificAmerican says:

    Maybe one of the popes could be neat and have OCD issues and the other pope could be a slob and laid back. We could follow their pontifications and wacky antics in weekly youtube updates.

  2. Matt Musson says:

    Every once in a while you should elect a Protestant Pope just to shake things up a bit.

  3. blarg says:

    The Democrats DO have a “balanced approach” to the deficit – increase spending AND raise taxes. BAM! deficit city!

  4. Jimmy says:

    Spend, spend, spend, spent. Spend on spending. Spend a little more.

    Tax, tax, tax, taxed. Tax on taxes. Tax a little more.

    Tax and spend! Spend and tax.

    To hell with taxes! Just borrow and spend, spend, spend, spend… And SPEND!

    And to hell with paying it back.

  5. Matt Musson says:

    I heard there is not a single LGBT candidate for Pope. How can Catholics accept that?

  6. Son of Bob says:

    I hear that, in order to be more politically correct, the nominees are a black guy, an illegal Mexican, a gay guy, a guy in a wheelchair and an Asian girl.

  7. Oppo says:

    Jimmy got a hold of the president’s State of the Union speech! Cool!

  8. Bunkerhillbilly says:

    Again, great charity must be shown to the non-Catholics and the ignorance displayed in their posts.

    I heard there is not a single LGBT candidate for Pope. How can Catholics accept that?

    Quite easily. Catholicism and LGBTism are mutually exclusive.

    Every once in a while you should elect a Protestant Pope just to shake things up a bit.

    No. Being Protestant immediately excludes one from any affiliation with Catholicism. (Know your Lutheran history, man.) Thus, as a non-Catholic, one is prevented from selection by the Conclave.

    I want to be the first to nominate Mr. T as the new pope.

    Sorry, Chief, as compassionate as the man may be, not having come up through the sacerdotal ranks and proven himself knowledgeable in doctrinal matters, he is not eligible.

    It is akin to putting up someone who has not one bit of knowledge about handguns and long guns for president of the NRA.

    Or, suggesting that someone who would look for the propeller on a jet engine be selected as Airplane Mechanic of The Year.

    You mock Obama and his use of a lever-action, smooth-bore, 30-30, double-aught, smokeless, black-powder, clay-skeet, pump rifle.

    How does it feel to be the theological equivalent of Obama with his girly gun?

    In the eyes of the civil, charitable, Catholic.

    Just asking. Just trying to “push back the frontiers of ignorance.”

  9. Jimmy says:

    Great charity must be rendered to those of us who were raised Catholic, as well, Bunkerhillbilly, and have moved on, my friend.

  10. blastit says:

    Personally, I’d have disqualified the IMAO babe from being the winning submission solely for having her finger on the trigger. Dont be all gun supportive and sh*t and then display them prominently in an unsafe fashion.

  11. Harvey says:

    @10 – as long as she’s willing to destroy the camera (or whoever was behind it), she’s still following the basic gun safety rules.

  12. Bunkerhillbilly says:

    Great charity must be rendered to those of us who were raised Catholic, as well, Bunkerhillbilly, and have moved on, my friend

    “Raised…and have moved on…”

    At a minimum, even if you, for whatever regrettable reason that motivated your departure, are no longer among the congregants, you have a knowledge of the fundamentals of the faith, its structure, and the process of papal succession.

    Having such an acquaintance, beyond that of mere nodding, why then the motivation to join with the uninformed in the cloddish piling on in the want for the cheap laugh?

    Er, derp, pointy hats derp, derp, derp! Six popes, gay popes, why not a jew pope, derp, hyuck hyuck hyuck!

    If we’re going in this direction, Jimmy, why not tolerate a little blackface minstrelsy, some hook-nosed jews in yarmulkes, you know, it’s just for the laughs, right? Rastus, Moishe, and Benedict XVI walk into a bar…hyuck, hyuck!.

    I could see it if the Conclave gets into a riotous pie fight or the Holy Father pranks the Camerlingo with a whoopee cushion or a joybuzzer behind the papal ring. Maybe a prank call from the Pope from the Vatican City broadcast studios to the cellphone of a recalcitrant Cardinal where the caller ID reads GOD.

    I should hope that this site aspires to be better, sharper, and intellectually derisive.

    Let’s leave the cheap stuff to the boneheaded Lefties.

  13. Writer says:

    Don’t knock it.

    Listening to politicians drone is the only real cure for Insomniacs.

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