Listening to politicians drone is the only real cure for Insomniacs.

“Raised…and have moved on…”

At a minimum, even if you, for whatever regrettable reason that motivated your departure, are no longer among the congregants, you have a knowledge of the fundamentals of the faith, its structure, and the process of papal succession.

Having such an acquaintance, beyond that of mere nodding, why then the motivation to join with the uninformed in the cloddish piling on in the want for the cheap laugh?

Er, derp, pointy hats derp, derp, derp! Six popes, gay popes, why not a jew pope, derp, hyuck hyuck hyuck!

If we’re going in this direction, Jimmy, why not tolerate a little blackface minstrelsy, some hook-nosed jews in yarmulkes, you know, it’s just for the laughs, right? Rastus, Moishe, and Benedict XVI walk into a bar…hyuck, hyuck!.

I could see it if the Conclave gets into a riotous pie fight or the Holy Father pranks the Camerlingo with a whoopee cushion or a joybuzzer behind the papal ring. Maybe a prank call from the Pope from the Vatican City broadcast studios to the cellphone of a recalcitrant Cardinal where the caller ID reads GOD.

I should hope that this site aspires to be better, sharper, and intellectually derisive.

Let’s leave the cheap stuff to the boneheaded Lefties.

I heard there is not a single LGBT candidate for Pope. How can Catholics accept that?

Quite easily. Catholicism and LGBTism are mutually exclusive.

Every once in a while you should elect a Protestant Pope just to shake things up a bit.

No. Being Protestant immediately excludes one from any affiliation with Catholicism. (Know your Lutheran history, man.) Thus, as a non-Catholic, one is prevented from selection by the Conclave.

I want to be the first to nominate Mr. T as the new pope.

Sorry, Chief, as compassionate as the man may be, not having come up through the sacerdotal ranks and proven himself knowledgeable in doctrinal matters, he is not eligible.

It is akin to putting up someone who has not one bit of knowledge about handguns and long guns for president of the NRA.

Or, suggesting that someone who would look for the propeller on a jet engine be selected as Airplane Mechanic of The Year.

You mock Obama and his use of a lever-action, smooth-bore, 30-30, double-aught, smokeless, black-powder, clay-skeet, pump rifle.

How does it feel to be the theological equivalent of Obama with his girly gun?

In the eyes of the civil, charitable, Catholic.

Just asking. Just trying to “push back the frontiers of ignorance.”

Tax, tax, tax, taxed. Tax on taxes. Tax a little more.

Tax and spend! Spend and tax.

To hell with taxes! Just borrow and spend, spend, spend, spend… And SPEND!

And to hell with paying it back.