Scientists Declare Earth Uninhabitable
Scientists have redefined the “Goldilocks Zone” — the distance from a star where a planet would be “just right” and could conceivably have life on it. The problem is, with the new definition, Earth is no longer in the Goldilocks Zone. So I guess our planet is basically uninhabitable. I hope we have plans then to find and takeover one of the planets that actually are habitable. I mean, I have plans — with lots of cool drawings of us using lasers to shoot aliens.
I really should be Secretary of Defense.
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February 1st, 2013 at 3:10 pm
Does this means when we resettle, we have to look out for bears?
February 1st, 2013 at 3:44 pm
Frank adheres to Papa Bear diplomacy.
February 1st, 2013 at 4:45 pm
Umm, I think they wrote “nearly” as in “new definition kicks the Earth’s orbit nearly out.” I guess somebody needed a headline; but it does bring the whole “global warming” thing into a new light. I want to call it “global thawing” since you see stories about glaciers retreating and revealing where villages had been; and the fact that Greenland’s name made sense when it was given.
February 1st, 2013 at 5:26 pm
First act as Secretary of Defense: rename the job title back to “Secretary of War” like it was until 1949.
February 1st, 2013 at 5:26 pm
Second act: “Secretary” sounds too girly; come up with a better title than that.
February 1st, 2013 at 6:29 pm
“I mean, I have plans — with lots of cool drawings of us using lasers to shoot aliens.”
Prove it! Show us the drawings!
February 1st, 2013 at 7:10 pm
They must have meant inhabitable by “intelligent life,” in which case watching just one hour of MSNBC can make one tend to agree.
February 1st, 2013 at 7:14 pm
….and bumble bees can’t fly….Gotta’ love Science!
February 1st, 2013 at 10:16 pm
Why do some of these scientists always seem to be in danger of disappearing up their own existence?
February 1st, 2013 at 10:59 pm
@ 9. FredKey : Because they depend on grants from the government, so they are basically government employees!
February 2nd, 2013 at 4:08 pm
It’s about time we get a Secretary of Defense that is willing to pursue important things like adding dinosaurs with rocket launchers to our arsenal.