State of the Union Tonight

Posted on February 12, 2013 1:00 pm

I’m crossing my fingers that Obama is going to be inspired by the pope, but instead of resigning for reasons of health, it will be for reasons of stupidity and uselessness.

It’s expected that Obama will announce a bunch of stuff he intends to try and do, and that will be the problem because he’s an idiot and everything he does just makes the country and our economy worse. If he ever actually learns, then he’ll stop trying to do anything and just get out of everyone’s way. I really hope people learn from his presidency and in the future have presidents we never ever see or hear from because they’re doing their thing and we’re doing ours (I describe exactly how a president should be in How to Fix Everything in America Forever if you haven’t read that yet).

Of course, Obama’s excuse for being a failure during his campaign was that the Republicans blocked him, and those same Republicans are still here and it seems very unlikely they’ll lose their majority in 2014, so if Obama were honest, all he’d pledge to do tonight is whine about Republicans for four more years. That’s a promise he’ll actually keep.

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15 Responses to “State of the Union Tonight”

  1. Oppo says:

    “I’d accomplish a lot more if the Republicans wouldn’t block me. Which they probably will.”

    Four More Eeyores! Four More Eeyores!

  2. Jimmy says:

    Instead of “State of the Union,” we should rename it to “The Union of the State and My Wallet.”

  3. Vaktatunnen says:

    And where’s my high-speed choo-choo? I gave up my freedom, my money, my self respect and my future, so I demand that high-speed choo-choo that I was promised a couple of years ago.

  4. FredKey says:

    “Four years into this thing and folks are worse off now than they were when I took office. Why? Well… I ran out of gas. I… I had a flat tire. I didn’t have enough money for cab fare. My tux didn’t come back from the cleaners. An old friend came in from out of town. Someone stole my car. There was an earthquake. A terrible flood. Locusts! IT WASN’T MY FAULT, I SWEAR TO GOD!”

  5. Just Some Guy says:

    Thanks to inflation a whine just isn’t worth what it used to be. So Obama is actually going to need to promise at least 13% more whining about Rublicans if he wants to match his first term.

  6. Just Some Guy says:

    Wow, I misspelled Republicans. Quick, think up another economics joke. “The recession is so bad the GOP had to sell a few letters to finance the next round of elections and are now just the Rublicans”

  7. Jimmy says:

    The Republicans have sold lot more than a few letters, Just Some Guy. What’s left is like junk at a Saturday flee market.

  8. Oppo says:

    This administration is a parody. It’ll be the State of the Onion address.

  9. Dohtimes says:

    Unless he is giving the State of the Unicorn address his acolytes won’t bother listening to the words anyhow.

  10. FredKey says:

    Would rather watch the State of the Urinal Address.

  11. NoMoBama says:

    If you read the comments, it’s really really hard to understand how this clown got reelected other than by pure fraud. I’d say they’re 90% anti Obama.

    Best one i saw:
    The food stamp program, part of the Department of Agriculture, is pleased to be distributing the greatest amount of food stamps ever.
    — Meanwhile, the Park Service, also part of the Department of Agriculture, asks us to “Please Do Not Feed the Animals” because the animals may grow dependent and not learn to take care of themselves.

  12. NoMoBama says:

    *and isn’t it nice to know that the Department of Agriculture, is “pleased” that 1/3 of the country is living in alleged “poverty”? When it gets up to 2/3 they’re going to be ecstatic!

  13. Carpenter says:

    there is only 1 possible good outcome at tonights event.

    Someone (I think you know who) needs to be arrested by the US Military for Election Fraud, Treason and Conspiracy to Commit Communism. Short of that I don’t care. I mean the guy is supposedly the President of a country that does even exist anymore. He is the so-called defender of a Constitution that has been used as toilet paper by the Liberals for decades. Is it any wonder why the USA is so screwed up?

  14. 4of7 says:

    Sory, two drinkto comment 2nitght… playd a drinking game durng that speeech – toooka shot evry time i hrd to word “”investment” … end of strory . Sooorry. (hick!)

  15. CTCompromise says:

    @14 4OF7 : Gotcha’ beat…whenev the pres speaks (hic) I down a shot evrtime he says “I”…. us’lly run out of booze bfore tha speech ends. “scuse me…I’m gonna’ be sick—from tha speech, not tha booze.

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