Comments on: Straight Line of the Day: According to the DHS, the Best Way to Deal With a Crazed Gunman… http://www.imao.us/index.php/2013/02/straight-line-of-the-day-according-to-the-dhs-the-best-way-to-deal-with-a-crazed-gunman/ Unfair. Unbalanced. Unmedicated. Sat, 25 May 2013 10:46:19 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.5.1 By: IMAO » Blog Archive » You’ve Been Judged! http://www.imao.us/index.php/2013/02/straight-line-of-the-day-according-to-the-dhs-the-best-way-to-deal-with-a-crazed-gunman/comment-page-2/#comment-414184 IMAO » Blog Archive » You’ve Been Judged! Wed, 06 Feb 2013 22:06:44 +0000 http://www.imao.us/?p=35050#comment-414184 [...] Keln of Nuking Politics picked his favorite punchlines to “According to the DHS, the best way to deal with a crazed gunman…” [...]

]]> By: Dohtimes http://www.imao.us/index.php/2013/02/straight-line-of-the-day-according-to-the-dhs-the-best-way-to-deal-with-a-crazed-gunman/comment-page-2/#comment-413955 Dohtimes Wed, 06 Feb 2013 17:50:42 +0000 http://www.imao.us/?p=35050#comment-413955 …you make him wade through a hundred or so comments before he picks his victim.

]]> By: Dohtimes http://www.imao.us/index.php/2013/02/straight-line-of-the-day-according-to-the-dhs-the-best-way-to-deal-with-a-crazed-gunman/comment-page-2/#comment-413952 Dohtimes Wed, 06 Feb 2013 17:49:11 +0000 http://www.imao.us/?p=35050#comment-413952 …you look Obama in the eye and say- Don’t skeet shoot me bro.

]]> By: rodney dill http://www.imao.us/index.php/2013/02/straight-line-of-the-day-according-to-the-dhs-the-best-way-to-deal-with-a-crazed-gunman/comment-page-2/#comment-413507 rodney dill Wed, 06 Feb 2013 12:57:13 +0000 http://www.imao.us/?p=35050#comment-413507 @Bob in Feenicks #85 – Oh Crap, wish I would’ve thought of that one.

]]> By: seanmahair http://www.imao.us/index.php/2013/02/straight-line-of-the-day-according-to-the-dhs-the-best-way-to-deal-with-a-crazed-gunman/comment-page-2/#comment-413487 seanmahair Wed, 06 Feb 2013 12:34:44 +0000 http://www.imao.us/?p=35050#comment-413487 …get out your official signed photo of our Dear Leader and tell him “we’re all in this together, baby”. That for sure will calm him down.

]]> By: Bob in Feenicks http://www.imao.us/index.php/2013/02/straight-line-of-the-day-according-to-the-dhs-the-best-way-to-deal-with-a-crazed-gunman/comment-page-2/#comment-413128 Bob in Feenicks Wed, 06 Feb 2013 06:04:55 +0000 http://www.imao.us/?p=35050#comment-413128 …get on your knees and plead, “I ran out of gas! I–I had a flat tire! I didn’t have enough money for cab fare! My tux didn’t come back from the cleaners! An old friend came in from out of town! Someone stole my car! There was an earthquake! A terrible flood! Locusts! IT WASN’T MY FAULT, I SWEAR TO GOD!!!” -then take off your sunglasses and look them in the eye.

]]> By: SOYLENT GREEN http://www.imao.us/index.php/2013/02/straight-line-of-the-day-according-to-the-dhs-the-best-way-to-deal-with-a-crazed-gunman/comment-page-2/#comment-413047 SOYLENT GREEN Wed, 06 Feb 2013 02:36:47 +0000 http://www.imao.us/?p=35050#comment-413047 Give him an ATF badge and send him to Mexico.

]]> By: CarolyntheMommy http://www.imao.us/index.php/2013/02/straight-line-of-the-day-according-to-the-dhs-the-best-way-to-deal-with-a-crazed-gunman/comment-page-2/#comment-413022 CarolyntheMommy Wed, 06 Feb 2013 01:45:35 +0000 http://www.imao.us/?p=35050#comment-413022 … is inform him that you’re a top diplomat and therefore untouchable

]]> By: CarolyntheMommy http://www.imao.us/index.php/2013/02/straight-line-of-the-day-according-to-the-dhs-the-best-way-to-deal-with-a-crazed-gunman/comment-page-2/#comment-413020 CarolyntheMommy Wed, 06 Feb 2013 01:42:02 +0000 http://www.imao.us/?p=35050#comment-413020 …. is to cover your face and say, “You can’t see me!”

… is to shout, “Biff! What the Hell is that!?”

]]> By: Manolo http://www.imao.us/index.php/2013/02/straight-line-of-the-day-according-to-the-dhs-the-best-way-to-deal-with-a-crazed-gunman/comment-page-2/#comment-413016 Manolo Wed, 06 Feb 2013 01:24:04 +0000 http://www.imao.us/?p=35050#comment-413016 According to the DHS, the best way to deal with a crazed gunman…is to guarantee your safety by shouting, “I didn’t vote for that bastard either!”

]]> By: Manolo http://www.imao.us/index.php/2013/02/straight-line-of-the-day-according-to-the-dhs-the-best-way-to-deal-with-a-crazed-gunman/comment-page-2/#comment-413013 Manolo Wed, 06 Feb 2013 01:20:15 +0000 http://www.imao.us/?p=35050#comment-413013 According to the DHS, the best way to deal with a crazed gunman…is to warn him that you’ve called the police and they’ll be there in 97 minutes.

]]> By: Manolo http://www.imao.us/index.php/2013/02/straight-line-of-the-day-according-to-the-dhs-the-best-way-to-deal-with-a-crazed-gunman/comment-page-2/#comment-413011 Manolo Wed, 06 Feb 2013 01:16:19 +0000 http://www.imao.us/?p=35050#comment-413011 According to the DHS, the best way to deal with a crazed gunman…would be to remain hopeful that he shoots as well as the president.

]]> By: Manolo http://www.imao.us/index.php/2013/02/straight-line-of-the-day-according-to-the-dhs-the-best-way-to-deal-with-a-crazed-gunman/comment-page-2/#comment-413009 Manolo Wed, 06 Feb 2013 01:14:52 +0000 http://www.imao.us/?p=35050#comment-413009 According to the DHS, the best way to deal with a crazed gunman…is to make him feel good about himself by reminding him that he qualifies for free Prozac and birth control under the Affordable Care Act.

]]> By: Manolo http://www.imao.us/index.php/2013/02/straight-line-of-the-day-according-to-the-dhs-the-best-way-to-deal-with-a-crazed-gunman/comment-page-2/#comment-413007 Manolo Wed, 06 Feb 2013 01:11:29 +0000 http://www.imao.us/?p=35050#comment-413007 According to the DHS, the best way to deal with a crazed gunman…is prosecute the gunman’s doctor for not reporting that his patient owns a gun.

]]> By: Manolo http://www.imao.us/index.php/2013/02/straight-line-of-the-day-according-to-the-dhs-the-best-way-to-deal-with-a-crazed-gunman/comment-page-2/#comment-413004 Manolo Wed, 06 Feb 2013 01:09:16 +0000 http://www.imao.us/?p=35050#comment-413004 According to the DHS, the best way to deal with a crazed gunman…is yell, “He’s got an iPad!”, then watch as TSA inspectors appear out of nowhere to steal it.

]]> By: Corsair http://www.imao.us/index.php/2013/02/straight-line-of-the-day-according-to-the-dhs-the-best-way-to-deal-with-a-crazed-gunman/comment-page-2/#comment-413003 Corsair Wed, 06 Feb 2013 01:08:48 +0000 http://www.imao.us/?p=35050#comment-413003 Play dead? It work against bears.

]]> By: Manolo http://www.imao.us/index.php/2013/02/straight-line-of-the-day-according-to-the-dhs-the-best-way-to-deal-with-a-crazed-gunman/comment-page-2/#comment-413002 Manolo Wed, 06 Feb 2013 01:06:18 +0000 http://www.imao.us/?p=35050#comment-413002 According to the DHS, the best way to deal with a crazed gunman…is to wrap your feet and and hands with DHS-approved duct tape, then lay atop your DHS-approved plastic sheeting.

]]> By: Manolo http://www.imao.us/index.php/2013/02/straight-line-of-the-day-according-to-the-dhs-the-best-way-to-deal-with-a-crazed-gunman/comment-page-2/#comment-412999 Manolo Wed, 06 Feb 2013 00:58:58 +0000 http://www.imao.us/?p=35050#comment-412999 According to the DHS, the best way to deal with a crazed gunman…is to mime opening a window and crawling out of it to safety.

]]> By: Manolo http://www.imao.us/index.php/2013/02/straight-line-of-the-day-according-to-the-dhs-the-best-way-to-deal-with-a-crazed-gunman/comment-page-2/#comment-412998 Manolo Wed, 06 Feb 2013 00:58:57 +0000 http://www.imao.us/?p=35050#comment-412998 According to the DHS, the best way to deal with a crazed gunman…is to mime opening a window and crawling out of it to safety.

]]> By: CarolyntheMommy http://www.imao.us/index.php/2013/02/straight-line-of-the-day-according-to-the-dhs-the-best-way-to-deal-with-a-crazed-gunman/comment-page-2/#comment-412997 CarolyntheMommy Wed, 06 Feb 2013 00:58:16 +0000 http://www.imao.us/?p=35050#comment-412997 …. is to give him directions back to his neighborhood in Chicago

]]> By: Manolo http://www.imao.us/index.php/2013/02/straight-line-of-the-day-according-to-the-dhs-the-best-way-to-deal-with-a-crazed-gunman/comment-page-2/#comment-412995 Manolo Wed, 06 Feb 2013 00:57:45 +0000 http://www.imao.us/?p=35050#comment-412995 According to the DHS, the best way to deal with a crazed gunman…is to wait four years until his term expires.

]]> By: CarolyntheMommy http://www.imao.us/index.php/2013/02/straight-line-of-the-day-according-to-the-dhs-the-best-way-to-deal-with-a-crazed-gunman/comment-page-2/#comment-412994 CarolyntheMommy Wed, 06 Feb 2013 00:57:25 +0000 http://www.imao.us/?p=35050#comment-412994 … is to inform him that he’s in a gun-free zone. That problem will be gone forever!

]]> By: Manolo http://www.imao.us/index.php/2013/02/straight-line-of-the-day-according-to-the-dhs-the-best-way-to-deal-with-a-crazed-gunman/comment-page-2/#comment-412991 Manolo Wed, 06 Feb 2013 00:55:01 +0000 http://www.imao.us/?p=35050#comment-412991 According to the DHS, the best way to deal with a crazed gunman…is wet your pants, hide, cry out to Allah, God, Buddah or whatever deity you believe will respond, but DON’T YOU DARE EVEN THINK ABOUT USING A GUN TO DEFEND YOURSELF!

]]> By: Dohtimes http://www.imao.us/index.php/2013/02/straight-line-of-the-day-according-to-the-dhs-the-best-way-to-deal-with-a-crazed-gunman/comment-page-2/#comment-412941 Dohtimes Tue, 05 Feb 2013 22:34:36 +0000 http://www.imao.us/?p=35050#comment-412941 …make sure his ammo in not of a caliber that might constitute a choking hazard and issue a recall if needed.

…well that depends on what your bookie says when you call and ask what the over/under is on the ensuing mass shooting.

]]> By: FormerHostage http://www.imao.us/index.php/2013/02/straight-line-of-the-day-according-to-the-dhs-the-best-way-to-deal-with-a-crazed-gunman/comment-page-2/#comment-412933 FormerHostage Tue, 05 Feb 2013 22:15:31 +0000 http://www.imao.us/?p=35050#comment-412933 …is to be thankful that at least YOU obeyed the law!

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