Straight Line of the Day: After the Pope’s Resignation…

Posted on February 12, 2013 12:00 pm

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

After the Pope’s resignation…

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54 Responses to “Straight Line of the Day: After the Pope’s Resignation…”

  1. rodney dill says:

    Ronco redistributed the Pope Ill Pocket Fisherman

  2. can of spam says:

    Let’s get the obvious one out of the way…

    … Suzi Parker reveals that Sarah Palin in line to become next Pope.

  3. rodney dill says:

    The Cardinals paraded around doing, “pie jesu domine, dona eis requiem” (THWACK)

  4. rodney dill says:

    …he scheduled a trip to Disney World.

  5. Son of Bob says:

    …John McCain’s campaign team blamed the Pope for costing McCain the presidential election.

  6. Oppo says:

    … he started to fall all over the place. He was no longer infallible.

  7. Oppo says:

    … he tore out the eighteenth book from the Old Testament, shouting “take the Job and shove it!”

  8. Conservatarian says:

    …Sinead O’Connor released her new hit cover tune of “Hit the Road Jack”

  9. blarg says:

    A lot of people looked over at Obama with that “anyone else wanna resign while we’re on a roll?” look.

  10. rodney dill says:

    Biden made a ‘John 3:16’ sign to hold up at the SOTU address.

  11. rodney dill says:

    …Obama said the new Pope deserved the Nobel Peace Prize.

  12. g says:

    … the dalai lama did a victory dance.

  13. Cliff says:

    …..he wanted to google ‘alzheimers’ but couldnt find his assistant Paolo…who was in jail again. =(

  14. Oppo says:

    … they discovered there was no such thing as a Vice Pope, so the job went to the SPQR of the House.

  15. Jimmy says:

    …proclaimed that the Vatican would have to take up smoking again.

  16. Jimmy says:

    …emptied out his ‘bucket list’ and shipped it to the arrogant Obama.

  17. Jimmy says:

    …declared that he was sick and tired of being a papist.

  18. Oppo says:

    … he got a bumper sticker: “Retirees are Papal Too”

  19. Dohtimes says:

    …Michelle wanted his hat since it would go well with her boob belt.

    …Iran’s navy claimed victory in the Holy See.

  20. Oppo says:

    … he went on Social Secularity.

  21. rodney dill says:

    …the Vatican put Obama on standby for their Choom Room for when they needed to signal the selection of a new Pope.

  22. Oppo says:

    … he can only give has-beenedictions

  23. Oppo says:

    .. he said, “Te Deum a free man.”

  24. Oppo says:

    … he applied to be a check-out cleric at Wal-Mart.

  25. Jimmy says:

    …he gathered his Cardinals together for a pep talk, proclaiming, “Let’s win one for the Gipper!” One of the Cardinals then asked, “You mean, Jesus?” The Pope replied, “No! Reagan!”

  26. gsmtiger says:

    …Obama announced that he would become pope by executive order. Because you can totaly do that to a foreign power.

  27. rodney dill says:

    …he took on his new job as head coach for the 49er’s

  28. FormerHostage says:

    …he got a gig as a color commentator for CBS Sports.

    …he converted the Pope-mobile into an RV and headed to Phoenix.

  29. rodney dill says:

    …he walked out across a lake, stuck his umbrella down in the water to see how deep it was, then continued walking out onto the lake.

  30. FormerHostage says:

    …he got a Notre Dame tat and opened a burger joint just off campus.

  31. FormerHostage says:

    …he mooned in the direction of Mecca.

  32. Dohtimes says:

    …the Pope un-resigned long enough to excommunicate Oppo. :)

    …all of the Cardinals started using PEDs.

  33. Scott says:

    …since he’s already “sort of a God,” Obama did a recess appointment for the next pope…

  34. Dohtimes says:

    …the NFL dropped their copyright lawsuit for the use of XVI.

    …Nancy Pelosi said we don’t have a Pope problem, we have a can’t tax the Pope problem.

  35. Jimmy says:

    …he was asked if he thought he was going to heaven. “I don’t know,” said the Pope, “It’s up to The One,” he continued. “You mean Obama?” asked the person. “No, God, you dumb America-obsessed Obama worshiper!”

  36. Bob in Feenicks says:

    …Biden started getting fitted for robes and funny hats. He’s next in line, right?

  37. Matt Musson says:

    Everyone at IMAO hoped that Obama would take the hint and resign as well!

  38. DamnCat says:

    …he’ll be able to wear tracksuits and velcro sneakers like every other 85 year old.

  39. Tau Dades says:

    … Obama invited him to go skeet shooting.

  40. Iowa Jim says:

    . . . the New York Times blamed it on the Tea Party.
    . . . Kim Jong-un claimed that he was the Pope of North Korea.
    . . . Biden started preparing “Pope and Change” posters for his 2016 campaign.

  41. DamnCat says:

    …God will stop returning his phone calls.

  42. Dohtimes says:

    …Obama reformed his Jobs Council because he could finally see the prospect of a real job being filled somewhere.

  43. Oppo says:

    @32: “all of the Cardinals started using PEDs” – Dohtimes
    You trying to get me double-secret excommunicated, by setting up a PED-ophile joke?

  44. Uncle Kevvie, That's Who says:

    1) He went out and got a front license plate that exclaims “Let Me tell you about All My Children”
    [By the way it’s going on a really tits-looking Alfa-Romeo]
    2) “Oktoberfest, here I come…..”
    3) No Lent this year, steak every day.
    4) Anyone spouting ‘little boy’ jokes gets a beat-down……..
    5) Finally,…. a little privacy.

  45. Crabby Old Bat says:

    @Rodney Dill #3: That’s Jesu with a capital “J,” you godless pagan. Thanks for the hint on what to do for Lent this year, though. THWACK.

  46. Crabby Old Bat says:

    David Burge (Iowahawk):

    I’m tired of John Pauls. I say it’s time for Pope George Ringo.

  47. Writer says:

    . . . he is headed for an “around the world” Victory Tour as soon as he borrows Danny Thomas’ ring.

  48. Writer says:

    He is going to start a BLOG: How to quit while your ahead

  49. Writer says:

    . . . he moved to the U. S. and became overseer of Notre Dame’s football coaches.

  50. seanmahair says:

    Obama got ready to take over the Vatican. Unfortunately for him his Muslim advisors found out and made him milk the goat all night long. (get you minds out of the gutter, I wrote milk the goat and I meant milk the goat …….Geesh)

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