Straight Line of the Day: Best Quote from the Media’s Post-SOTU Commentary:
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
Best quote from the media’s post-SOTU commentary:
Send to Kindle
(4 votes, average: 4.25 out of 5)
February 15th, 2013 at 12:02 pm
What the heck happened?
February 15th, 2013 at 12:02 pm
Rubio has a drinking problem.
February 15th, 2013 at 12:06 pm
“It’s not even Perrier. The man’s an animal!”
February 15th, 2013 at 12:07 pm
“Ungh… ungh… oh yes! Oh! Oh! Oh! More! Harder… faster… yeeeeesssss! Ahhhhhh… got a cigarette?”
February 15th, 2013 at 12:08 pm
… What a contrast in styles, Rubio drank water while Obama walked upon it.
February 15th, 2013 at 12:08 pm
“Why doesn’t Rubio drink Kool-Aid like all we respectable people do?”
February 15th, 2013 at 12:26 pm
How can you get a “best quote” from people who are brain dead?
“Atag era a qu’ag awet carp.”
February 15th, 2013 at 12:30 pm
Chris Matthews: “That speech left me with a tingle in a leg I didn’t even know I still had!”
February 15th, 2013 at 12:30 pm
The smartest president ever just gave the greatest speech ever and I feel privileged to be a reporter covering him and will tell my grandchildren about this moment every time I see them.
February 15th, 2013 at 12:37 pm
“It was like Reagan’s Brandenburg Gate speech combined with King’s ‘I Have a Dream’ speech crossed with Churchill’s ‘Blood, Toil, Tears and Sweat’ speech. No, I can’t remember anything in it….”
February 15th, 2013 at 12:50 pm
“Obama is the greatest president in the history of everything!” – Chris Matthews
February 15th, 2013 at 12:55 pm
“Greatest presidential speach ever! Suck it, Lincoln!”
February 15th, 2013 at 1:05 pm
“I laughed. I cried. It was better than ‘Cats’.”
February 15th, 2013 at 1:06 pm
“Ohmygod! Ohmygod! Did you see it? He actually LOOKED at me!!!”
February 15th, 2013 at 1:20 pm
MSNBC:
“8 more years! 8 more years! 8 more years!”
CNN:
“SQUEEEEEEEEEE”
FOX:
“Last night President Obama targeted all of America with his most recent drone strike”
February 15th, 2013 at 1:28 pm
Chris Matthews saying that he felt a thrill go up his beg.
“I hardly noticed his great big giant huge funny looking ears, he was that awesome” said Maureen Dowd.
“Is that a cross bearing you in my pants or am I just glad to see you?” said Jamie Foxx.
February 15th, 2013 at 1:36 pm
“Alien and Republican Marco Rubio and His Racist Plot to Steal All the Earth’s Water”
“Obstructionist Republicans Reveal Their Racist Agenda in Opposing President Obama’s Bi-Partisan Plan to Make America Awesome”
February 15th, 2013 at 1:41 pm
Winning!
February 15th, 2013 at 2:03 pm
“Marco Rubio only drinks grain alcohol and rainwater.”
February 15th, 2013 at 2:26 pm
~~~~~ to General Greg for that one.
February 15th, 2013 at 2:31 pm
“Polo”, said Marco. Glurg, glurgghh, said the press.
February 15th, 2013 at 2:38 pm
…”Obama proves that dehydration is key to great leadership, something Republicans like Marco Rubio will never understand.”
February 15th, 2013 at 3:33 pm
Slow motion cameras clearly show the small cloud of dust arising when each fly lands on Obama’s face, indicating an unusually arid, dessicated, Harry Reid like mound of lifeless molecules heretofore only found in the Democrat Party and petrified creations of ancient dung beetles. – Poop Science Weekly!
February 15th, 2013 at 3:43 pm
“Duge vort onug, reen?”
February 15th, 2013 at 4:38 pm
When President Obama parted the waters into Senator Rubio’s glass you could cut the tension with a knife.
February 15th, 2013 at 4:54 pm
OhhhhhhhBama, that’s an assault weapon that doesn’t need a pistol grip to make my knees go all wobbly – Liberal of indeterminate gender and odors.
Who’s your daddy? – BHO to each unqualified, habitually dishonest and egotistical young black male he met afterwards.
February 15th, 2013 at 4:56 pm
“The state of the union is strong.” Barak Hussein Obama. I don’t know what union he was talking about. Maybe he meant that SEIU, Teamsters, the NEA are all strong but I can tell him the state of our union the United States strongly sucks.
February 15th, 2013 at 7:12 pm
It tastes like salty ambrosia.
February 15th, 2013 at 7:30 pm
Best quote from the media’s post-SOTU commentary: “The president was completely unfazed by the Republicans’ pathetic attempts to distract him from laying out his vision for America. Even after I threw my panties on the dais. Twice.”
February 15th, 2013 at 7:39 pm
Best quote from the media’s post-SOTU commentary: “We still haven’t seen anything to support the Republicans’ assertions that Mr. Obama did not calm the Sea of Galilee or walk upon its waters.”
February 15th, 2013 at 7:44 pm
Best quote from the media’s post-SOTU commentary: “This is certainly an exciting preview of what we can expect during President Obama’s third term.”
February 15th, 2013 at 7:51 pm
Best quote from the media’s post-SOTU commentary: “Well, the only thing that could possibly encapsulate the full breadth of Mr. Obama’s State of the Union Address would be a Candy Crowley-sized colostomy bag.”
February 15th, 2013 at 7:56 pm
Best quote from the media’s post-SOTU commentary: “The daily fear of living under Mr. Obama that’s experienced by his dog BO will pale in comparison to that which Americans anticipate.”
February 15th, 2013 at 8:04 pm
Best quote from the media’s post-SOTU commentary: “It’s really nice when his speech tracks so well with the talking points they gave us.”
February 15th, 2013 at 8:09 pm
Best quote from the media’s post-SOTU commentary: “They should’ve seated Ted Nugent in the lower gallery so his balls wouldn’t swing in front of the TV cameras so much.”
February 15th, 2013 at 8:11 pm
Best quote from the media’s post-SOTU commentary: “We better call Guinness to get our orgasm confirmed as a new record.”
February 16th, 2013 at 11:35 am
“Fact check? I’d prefer a cashier’s check.”
February 16th, 2013 at 11:42 am
..”and now for something completely deferent.”
February 16th, 2013 at 12:29 pm
“Release the Kraken!”
“Welease Bawabbas.”
February 16th, 2013 at 2:13 pm
Hey look! Rubio is drinking water! Ha Ha, this is gonna be like shooting skeet in a barrel.
Hey look! Mathews soiled himself, but in a good way.
So, it’s not a union anymore but legally sanctioned gay marriage and we all just got consummated?
February 16th, 2013 at 3:54 pm
Best quote from the media’s post-SOTU commentary: “Did this speech make make me look fat?”
February 16th, 2013 at 4:00 pm
Best quote from the media’s post-SOTU commentary came from Fox News: Alan Colmes: “Well, the president has certainly set a new path forward for the country, but will he be able to get us there?” Sean Hannity: “Sure he will. Didn’t you hear him say, ‘Bend over. I’ll drive’?”
February 16th, 2013 at 5:44 pm
*cough**choke**spit*…hey! You promised you wouldn’t do that!
February 16th, 2013 at 9:02 pm
His call to reverse every cross in all Christian Churches was historic. His announcement that he would remain president through 2666 was idyllic enough to bring all reasonable people to tears.
Only a miserable racist and bitter gun clinger could object to his requirement that everyone get a universal I. D. card to be used for tracking purposes with all purchases.
February 16th, 2013 at 9:06 pm
The Seig Heil by all Democrats present brought tears to my eyes.
February 17th, 2013 at 8:40 am
“Wow – this community is now so organized, I can’t imagine what he can possibly do the next four years!”
February 18th, 2013 at 11:09 pm
[...] Keln of Nuking Politics picked his favorite punchlines to “Best quote from the media’s post-SOTU commentary…” [...]