Straight Line of the Day: Best Quote from the Media’s Post-SOTU Commentary:

Posted on February 15, 2013 12:00 pm

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

Best quote from the media’s post-SOTU commentary:

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47 Responses to “Straight Line of the Day: Best Quote from the Media’s Post-SOTU Commentary:”

  1. rodney dill says:

    What the heck happened?

  2. rodney dill says:

    Rubio has a drinking problem.

  3. DamnCat says:

    “It’s not even Perrier. The man’s an animal!”

  4. can of spam says:

    “Ungh… ungh… oh yes! Oh! Oh! Oh! More! Harder… faster… yeeeeesssss! Ahhhhhh… got a cigarette?”

  5. g says:

    … What a contrast in styles, Rubio drank water while Obama walked upon it.

  6. DamnCat says:

    “Why doesn’t Rubio drink Kool-Aid like all we respectable people do?”

  7. Jimmy says:

    How can you get a “best quote” from people who are brain dead?

    “Atag era a qu’ag awet carp.”

  8. Sharky says:

    Chris Matthews: “That speech left me with a tingle in a leg I didn’t even know I still had!”

  9. JeffersonFan says:

    The smartest president ever just gave the greatest speech ever and I feel privileged to be a reporter covering him and will tell my grandchildren about this moment every time I see them.

  10. Apostic says:

    “It was like Reagan’s Brandenburg Gate speech combined with King’s ‘I Have a Dream’ speech crossed with Churchill’s ‘Blood, Toil, Tears and Sweat’ speech. No, I can’t remember anything in it….”

  11. FredKey says:

    “Obama is the greatest president in the history of everything!” – Chris Matthews

  12. DamnCat says:

    “Greatest presidential speach ever! Suck it, Lincoln!”

  13. can of spam says:

    “I laughed. I cried. It was better than ‘Cats’.”

  14. can of spam says:

    “Ohmygod! Ohmygod! Did you see it? He actually LOOKED at me!!!”

  15. Fangbeer says:

    “8 more years! 8 more years! 8 more years!”


    “Last night President Obama targeted all of America with his most recent drone strike”

  16. Dohtimes says:

    Chris Matthews saying that he felt a thrill go up his beg.

    “I hardly noticed his great big giant huge funny looking ears, he was that awesome” said Maureen Dowd.

    “Is that a cross bearing you in my pants or am I just glad to see you?” said Jamie Foxx.

  17. coldguy says:

    “Alien and Republican Marco Rubio and His Racist Plot to Steal All the Earth’s Water”

    “Obstructionist Republicans Reveal Their Racist Agenda in Opposing President Obama’s Bi-Partisan Plan to Make America Awesome”

  18. tomg51 says:


  19. Greg says:

    “Marco Rubio only drinks grain alcohol and rainwater.”

  20. Jimmy says:

    ~~~~~ to General Greg for that one.

  21. Dohtimes says:

    “Polo”, said Marco. Glurg, glurgghh, said the press.

  22. Bob in Feenicks says:

    …”Obama proves that dehydration is key to great leadership, something Republicans like Marco Rubio will never understand.”

  23. Dohtimes says:

    Slow motion cameras clearly show the small cloud of dust arising when each fly lands on Obama’s face, indicating an unusually arid, dessicated, Harry Reid like mound of lifeless molecules heretofore only found in the Democrat Party and petrified creations of ancient dung beetles. – Poop Science Weekly!

  24. Jimmy says:

    “Duge vort onug, reen?”

  25. Writer says:

    When President Obama parted the waters into Senator Rubio’s glass you could cut the tension with a knife.

  26. Dohtimes says:

    OhhhhhhhBama, that’s an assault weapon that doesn’t need a pistol grip to make my knees go all wobbly – Liberal of indeterminate gender and odors.

    Who’s your daddy? – BHO to each unqualified, habitually dishonest and egotistical young black male he met afterwards.

  27. seanmahair says:

    “The state of the union is strong.” Barak Hussein Obama. I don’t know what union he was talking about. Maybe he meant that SEIU, Teamsters, the NEA are all strong but I can tell him the state of our union the United States strongly sucks.

  28. Veeshir says:

    It tastes like salty ambrosia.

  29. Manolo says:

    Best quote from the media’s post-SOTU commentary: “The president was completely unfazed by the Republicans’ pathetic attempts to distract him from laying out his vision for America. Even after I threw my panties on the dais. Twice.”

  30. Manolo says:

    Best quote from the media’s post-SOTU commentary: “We still haven’t seen anything to support the Republicans’ assertions that Mr. Obama did not calm the Sea of Galilee or walk upon its waters.”

  31. Manolo says:

    Best quote from the media’s post-SOTU commentary: “This is certainly an exciting preview of what we can expect during President Obama’s third term.”

  32. Manolo says:

    Best quote from the media’s post-SOTU commentary: “Well, the only thing that could possibly encapsulate the full breadth of Mr. Obama’s State of the Union Address would be a Candy Crowley-sized colostomy bag.”

  33. Manolo says:

    Best quote from the media’s post-SOTU commentary: “The daily fear of living under Mr. Obama that’s experienced by his dog BO will pale in comparison to that which Americans anticipate.”

  34. Manolo says:

    Best quote from the media’s post-SOTU commentary: “It’s really nice when his speech tracks so well with the talking points they gave us.”

  35. Manolo says:

    Best quote from the media’s post-SOTU commentary: “They should’ve seated Ted Nugent in the lower gallery so his balls wouldn’t swing in front of the TV cameras so much.”

  36. Manolo says:

    Best quote from the media’s post-SOTU commentary: “We better call Guinness to get our orgasm confirmed as a new record.”

  37. Oppo says:

    “Fact check? I’d prefer a cashier’s check.”

  38. Oppo says:

    ..”and now for something completely deferent.”

  39. rodney dill says:

    “Release the Kraken!”

    “Welease Bawabbas.”

  40. Dohtimes says:

    Hey look! Rubio is drinking water! Ha Ha, this is gonna be like shooting skeet in a barrel.

    Hey look! Mathews soiled himself, but in a good way.

    So, it’s not a union anymore but legally sanctioned gay marriage and we all just got consummated?

  41. Manolo says:

    Best quote from the media’s post-SOTU commentary: “Did this speech make make me look fat?”

  42. Manolo says:

    Best quote from the media’s post-SOTU commentary came from Fox News: Alan Colmes: “Well, the president has certainly set a new path forward for the country, but will he be able to get us there?” Sean Hannity: “Sure he will. Didn’t you hear him say, ‘Bend over. I’ll drive’?”

  43. FormerHostage says:

    *cough**choke**spit*…hey! You promised you wouldn’t do that!

  44. Writer says:

    His call to reverse every cross in all Christian Churches was historic. His announcement that he would remain president through 2666 was idyllic enough to bring all reasonable people to tears.

    Only a miserable racist and bitter gun clinger could object to his requirement that everyone get a universal I. D. card to be used for tracking purposes with all purchases.

  45. Writer says:

    The Seig Heil by all Democrats present brought tears to my eyes.

  46. Oppo says:

    “Wow – this community is now so organized, I can’t imagine what he can possibly do the next four years!”

  47. IMAO » Blog Archive » You’ve Been Judged! links:

    […] Keln of Nuking Politics picked his favorite punchlines to “Best quote from the media’s post-SOTU commentary…” […]

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