Straight Line of the Day: Best Quote from the Media’s Post-SOTU Commentary:

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

Best quote from the media’s post-SOTU commentary:

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  1. “It was like Reagan’s Brandenburg Gate speech combined with King’s ‘I Have a Dream’ speech crossed with Churchill’s ‘Blood, Toil, Tears and Sweat’ speech. No, I can’t remember anything in it….”

  2. Chris Matthews saying that he felt a thrill go up his beg.

    “I hardly noticed his great big giant huge funny looking ears, he was that awesome” said Maureen Dowd.

    “Is that a cross bearing you in my pants or am I just glad to see you?” said Jamie Foxx.

  3. “Alien and Republican Marco Rubio and His Racist Plot to Steal All the Earth’s Water”

    “Obstructionist Republicans Reveal Their Racist Agenda in Opposing President Obama’s Bi-Partisan Plan to Make America Awesome”

  4. Slow motion cameras clearly show the small cloud of dust arising when each fly lands on Obama’s face, indicating an unusually arid, dessicated, Harry Reid like mound of lifeless molecules heretofore only found in the Democrat Party and petrified creations of ancient dung beetles. – Poop Science Weekly!

  5. OhhhhhhhBama, that’s an assault weapon that doesn’t need a pistol grip to make my knees go all wobbly – Liberal of indeterminate gender and odors.

    Who’s your daddy? – BHO to each unqualified, habitually dishonest and egotistical young black male he met afterwards.

  6. “The state of the union is strong.” Barak Hussein Obama. I don’t know what union he was talking about. Maybe he meant that SEIU, Teamsters, the NEA are all strong but I can tell him the state of our union the United States strongly sucks.

  7. Best quote from the media’s post-SOTU commentary: “The president was completely unfazed by the Republicans’ pathetic attempts to distract him from laying out his vision for America. Even after I threw my panties on the dais. Twice.”

  8. Best quote from the media’s post-SOTU commentary: “We still haven’t seen anything to support the Republicans’ assertions that Mr. Obama did not calm the Sea of Galilee or walk upon its waters.”

  9. Best quote from the media’s post-SOTU commentary: “Well, the only thing that could possibly encapsulate the full breadth of Mr. Obama’s State of the Union Address would be a Candy Crowley-sized colostomy bag.”

  10. Hey look! Rubio is drinking water! Ha Ha, this is gonna be like shooting skeet in a barrel.

    Hey look! Mathews soiled himself, but in a good way.

    So, it’s not a union anymore but legally sanctioned gay marriage and we all just got consummated?

  11. Best quote from the media’s post-SOTU commentary came from Fox News: Alan Colmes: “Well, the president has certainly set a new path forward for the country, but will he be able to get us there?” Sean Hannity: “Sure he will. Didn’t you hear him say, ‘Bend over. I’ll drive’?”

  12. His call to reverse every cross in all Christian Churches was historic. His announcement that he would remain president through 2666 was idyllic enough to bring all reasonable people to tears.

    Only a miserable racist and bitter gun clinger could object to his requirement that everyone get a universal I. D. card to be used for tracking purposes with all purchases.

  13. Pingback: IMAO » Blog Archive » You’ve Been Judged!

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