Straight Line of the Day: If You Buy a $500,000 Meeting With Obama, It Includes…

Posted on February 28, 2013 12:00 pm

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

If you buy a $500,000 meeting with Obama, it includes…

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79 Responses to “Straight Line of the Day: If You Buy a $500,000 Meeting With Obama, It Includes…”

  1. Apostic says:

    …this lovely tote bag.

  2. Apostic says:

    …dinner with the First Lady. And for an addtional $500,000, dinner without the First Lady.

  3. Carpenter says:

    …. a Multi-Million dollar payoff if/when the Obammunist revolution is a success

  4. Apostic says:

    …a personalized threat from a senior White House official.

  5. Jimmy says:

    Your choice of : two tickets to the Gong Show or a new bong.

  6. Apostic says:

    …a promise that he will never tout your company’s success. (This was what the Piranha Brothers called the Other Other Other Operation.)

  7. Jimmy says:

    A gun safety demonstration by Joe Biden on the back porch.

  8. Genghis Khen says:

    A hug from Joe BIden, a look around the inside of Obama’s bucket, and an obamacare waiver.

  9. Tommy the Towelhead says:

    …an opportunity to see if his ears act as locking tabs inside the bucket you brought.

  10. Apostic says:

    …an autographed glossy 8×10 of the TOTUS. (“O’s & X’s, Lexie”)

  11. Apostic says:

    …a night in the Lincoln Bedroom. Garlic and crosses not included.

  12. Genghis Khen says:

    A first person account of how he bagged his first skeet.

  13. Son of Bob says:

    …condescension, arrogance and pomposity at no extra charge.

  14. rodney dill says:

    The extra straps that make it easier to caddy his golf bag.

  15. blarg says:

    … a half and half

    … a request for more money

    … endorsement for any movie of your choice for an Academy Award

  16. rodney dill says:

    …and extra $100,000 service tax added on to the $500,000

  17. rodney dill says:

    …a free pass that let’s you win against the Wookie one time.

  18. rodney dill says:

    A key to the Choom room.

  19. rodney dill says:

    … permission to post your business’s advertisement on Michelle’s butt for one week.

  20. blarg says:

    … a free TSA grope and a 4 course meal that doesn’t require the use of a knife or fork

    … an opportunity to prostrate to the Messiah in person
    … a complimentary tour of the underside of Obama’s bus

  21. DamnCat says:

    …a catered lunch featuring your choice of breed for the entrĂ©e.

  22. blarg says:

    … an opportunity to demonstrate how else you might be useful to the administration

  23. Apostic says:

    @ rodney dill February 28th, 2013 at 12:31 pm

    Don’t they have laws against billboards that size?

  24. Heftyjo says:

    You get to the walk to the head of the bread line.

  25. Jimmy says:

    …an arugula salad, with or without the arugula, and the one without arugula has arugula in it.

  26. Jimmy says:

    …a free doggy bag.

  27. rodney dill says:

    @Apostic, nyuk, nyuk, I was trying to work the size issue into the punchline, ended up just figuring most people would get it anyway.

  28. rodney dill says:

    …a follow up meeting with Donna Brazile, where you can explain to her why her healthcare premium went up.

  29. rodney dill says:

    …a free drone ride.

  30. gsmtiger says:

    …a free ride on the Obama bus, plus you get to throw two people under it for free.

  31. gsmtiger says:

    …entertainment provided by Joe the dancing shotgun bear.

  32. Carpenter says:

    …a partnership with the Muslim Bruthahood

  33. Cliff says:

    ….a viewing of Hubris 2 with Rachel Madcow

  34. JeffersonFan says:

    …a shake weight workout with Reggie Love and a shotgun autographed by Joe Biden.

  35. marcus tullius cicero says:

    You get a lap dance from Muchelle!

  36. Gun Nut says:

    …a ticket to hell and a handbasket so you can get a head start on the rest of Amerika.

  37. Bob in Feenicks says:

    …an all-you-can-eat dog buffet.

  38. Dirk The Imapiler says:

    …lunch consisting of the most tender cuts of doberman. For $1,000,000, you get collie tar tar.

  39. frogmouth says:

    an Obamacare waiver, a whole deck of race cards, a SlapChop plus the pocket-sized mini-Obama.

    But wait, there’s more!

    Call within the next five minutes and we’ll double your order!

    That’s right. Just pay shipping and handling totaling an additional $50,000 and receive TWO of everything you see here. Offer void where prohibited. NY, IL and DC residents add 10% sales tax.

  40. DamnCat says:

    …a lunch of roasted wild skeets.

  41. Doug says:

    having your car detailed by Joe Biden.

  42. Mr Evilwrench says:

    Bring your wife and she can get free fashion tips from MissHell

  43. rodney dill says:

    …throw in an extra $50,000 and you get lunch with an R.O.U.S.* in New Jersey

    *(Republican Of Unusual Size)

  44. rodney dill says:

    …a night of Dancing With The Czars

  45. rodney dill says:

    …all you can eat… but only 1 sixteen ounce drink to wash it down.

  46. CTCompromise says:

    ….about 5 minutes of his time if you are white OR a party in Las Vegas, complete with Crystal champagne fountain while an American embassy is burning, if you are a Black celebrity couple.

  47. FormerHostage says:

    …a former staff member for you to throw under a bus.

    …WAFFLES!

    …does it matter since his supporters would swallow anything from him?

  48. FormerHostage says:

    …a year’s supply of Rice a’ Roni!

  49. FormerHostage says:

    …an iPod already loaded with his speeches.

  50. FormerHostage says:

    …a lap dance from Joey. (Good luck getting that picture out of your head!)

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