Straight Line of the Day: If You Buy a $500,000 Meeting With Obama, It Includes…

Posted on February 28, 2013 12:00 pm

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

If you buy a $500,000 meeting with Obama, it includes…

Send to Kindle
1 Star (Hated it)2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (Awesome) (2 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)

79 Responses to “Straight Line of the Day: If You Buy a $500,000 Meeting With Obama, It Includes…”

  1. Oppo says:

    face time with the half-mill-atto.

  2. Dohtimes says:

    …a photo of you and Obama and excludes anything of value affecting the rest of the country.

    …a half billion in loans that the taxpayers will pay off after you bilk the business it creates for about a half billion.

  3. Dohtimes says:

    …500 K worth of racial guilt easement that lasts until you listen to his next speech.

  4. Jimmy says:

    For A Fistful of Dollars – or – For A Few Dollars More (your choice) – a DVD animation of Clint Eastwood getting his head blown clean off by a .44 Magnum while standing next to an empty chair.

  5. Dohtimes says:

    …Alec Baldwin using a racial slur you get the blame for because $500,000 means you are not liberal enough and have to be punished.

    …a nice red carpet put down for you to crawl on.

    …a face to sneer meeting with a dictatorial egotist and hey, what more do you expect to get for a piddly half mil?

  6. Dohtimes says:

    …a seat close enough to Biden’s high chair to watch him dump a bowl of cereal on his head.

    …fun ride on one of Michelle’s hips!

  7. Tau Dades says:

    …a $500 Million dollar govt back loan for the future bankrupt company of your choice.

  8. Nunya says:

    …a $500,000 bill for services rendered: Obama gracing you with his presence *barf*

    (Hi gang! *waves to my fellow patriots*)

  9. Jimmy says:

    Where you been, Nunya bidness?

  10. Writer says:

    . . . a quart of cheap gin and a date with Susan Fluke.

  11. Writer says:

    . . . a vegetarian dinner where he introduces you to his master Nyarlathotep.

  12. AT says:

    … An Obamacare exemption.

  13. Doug says:

    A Place Card, with your name on it.

  14. seanmahair says:

    …a peanut butter sandwich and a cup of Koolaid.

  15. Steve says:

    A pin so you can sign the check in blood…

  16. Oppo says:

    Absolutely nothing, according to Jay Carney. He may be more correct than he thinks.

  17. Oppo says:

    A free copy of “How To Run A Successful Business” by the Postmaster General. Just pay postage and handling. Please!

  18. Oppo says:

    A cabinet position, apparently. You can even Hagel over the price.

  19. Oppo says:

    A case of the warm fuzzies (leftover poodles from dinner).

  20. Oppo says:

    Membership in his new party, the Smug-Satis Faction.

  21. HokieGomer says:

    A $1,000,000,000,000 coin. Of course, upon closer inspection it is stamped “Novelty Only”.

  22. HokieGomer says:

    …a peek inside the Book of Secrets for Obama’s schnauzer schnitzel recipe.

    …running one play with the Atomic Football.

  23. Matt Musson says:

    A private flight to the Dominican Republic and your choice from five underaged hookers.

    Oops. That was the $500,000 dinner with Senator Menendez.

  24. Matt Musson says:

    $50 dollars worth of JollyTime Popcorn and whatever is in the Box that Carol is point to.

  25. cptnmoroni says:

    An “I’m with stupid” t-shirt.

  26. cptnmoroni says:

    …15 minutes to control of the drone of your choice.

  27. cptnmoroni says:

    … two 30 minute shotgun shooting lessons from Joe Biden and a free skeet-shooting trip to Camp David.

    … an Obamacare waiver.

    … the phone number of a really great Secret Service-preferred brothel.

  28. Dohtimes says:

    …a stern warning not to stare at Obama’s ears.

    …your big chance to show off your groveling skills and a severe beat-down if you slobber on The 0nes shoes.

  29. Writer says:

    . . . Green Stamps, because their manufacture aids his newest Green Jobs Agenda.

Leave a Reply

XHTML: You can use these tags: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>