Straight Line of the Day: In Response to North Korea’s Latest Nuclear Test, Obama…

Posted on February 14, 2013 12:00 pm

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

In response to North Korea’s latest nuclear test, Obama…

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86 Responses to “Straight Line of the Day: In Response to North Korea’s Latest Nuclear Test, Obama…”

  1. Apostic says:

    …hit one over par on the thrid hole.

  2. Apostic says:


  3. Richard B says:


  4. Jimmy says:

    wrote dictated a extremely strongly-worded letter of disgust… while eating a waffle.

  5. Apostic says:

    …sent John Kerry with a prop button that said “Reset” in Korean (but actually said “Easy”).

  6. Jimmy says:

    …had a hissy fit, sneezed, blew the Cocaine out of his nose and said “I feel better.”

  7. Apostic says:

    …said, “We have more work to do. As I stand here today, my fundamental belief at this crossroads of history will be our defining moment. I will make Washington work for a common purpose. Therefore, I resign today and -Hey, who hijacked my telepromter?!”

  8. James says:

    . . . said “meow”.

  9. DamnCat says:

    …blamed George W. Bush.

  10. Yishai says:

    …called an urgent cabinet meeting to finalize the new minimum wage proposal.

  11. DamnCat says:

    …said “What does it matter?”

  12. Jimmy says:

    Slightly off topic, but Apostic, your comment reminded me of Sarah K.’s Twitter page (I peeked) and she used the phrase “State of My Ego speech” instead of ‘State of The Union speech.’ (I think Sarah K. should get a pound of Bacon! for the notion and but also should write one of her famous guest postings here after such a long hiatus!)

  13. Son of Bob says:

    …has offered to send them F-16’s.

  14. Dohtimes says:

    …had the Secret Service add a layer of lead to his tinfoil hat.

    …borrowed Jimmy Carter’s paper booties.

    …damned his large, sensitive ears and created the Cabinet post of Secretary of Ear Plugs.

  15. Apostic says:

    @12.Jimmy says: To tell the truth, I just grabbed a few top cliches from here and strung them together. I’d say it goes without sayng that Sarah K. put more thought into hers, but that’s needlessly ironic and belabors the obvious. ūüėČ

  16. Jimmy says:

    …in a slightly frustrated voice, said, “Who do they think they are? China?”

  17. rodney dill says:

    …pulled Joe Biden’s finger.

  18. DamnCat says:

    …shot some skeet. And a spaniel for dinner.

  19. Jimmy says:

    …called Iran to congratulate them on ripping-off our drone.

  20. rodney dill says:

    …started watching reruns of M*A*S*H to bone up on his foreign policy for the region.

  21. Jimmy says:

    …yelled at BO for making “policy” on the Oval Office carpet.

  22. rodney dill says:

    …said, ‘That gives me and idea… Michelle, your new nickname is Hotlips.’

  23. Jimmy says:

    …actually had to Wiki the phrase “nuclear non-proliferation.”

  24. rodney dill says:

    …authorized selling North Korea the missile technology that they now were obviously going to need.

  25. rodney dill says:

    …said he was gonna get him some ‘shroom cloud too,

  26. gsmtiger says:

    …issued an executive order to encourage defense contractors to “keep an open mind” about where their technology was going.

  27. rodney dill says:

    …said to John Kerry, “Why the long face?” same as every day.

  28. Jimmy says:

    …thought about who they might target with their Big Dong missile and decided Seattle and Anchorage, while closest, were out because they had too many pro-commie hippies.

  29. gsmtiger says:

    …opened his binder full of North Koreans.

  30. rodney dill says:

    …blamed Pinky and The Brain.

  31. gsmtiger says:

    …called Eric Holder, to tell him that he had found a new country to sell things to.

  32. Mrs. Campbell says:

    Asked what score they got and if he could copy their answers.

  33. rodney dill says:

    …said, “Looks like we need Susan Rice back here to through under the bus again.”

  34. rodney dill says:

    …Sent Kim Jong-Un a world globe with “WASHINGTON D.C.” painted in over “MECCA”

  35. Jimmy says:

    …phoned the Japanese ambassador and told him not to worry because the kid has a round, boyish non-violent face.

  36. Jimmy says:

    …called Kim Jong Un and offered to send him what he needs most: body bags.

  37. Dohtimes says:

    …offered to send them all of our nukes so they could be tested.

    …acceded to their demand that he order drone strikes on all South Korean Gangnam style dancers.

    …demanded that nuclear teachers get a pay raise.

  38. FormerHostage says:

    …finished his waffles.

  39. Jimmy says:

    …went to bed followed by disappearing to Vegas the next morning. No one has heard from him. Wait… that was Benghazi…

  40. jw says:

    …gave north korea alaska and the carrier Enterprise. then hid under the desk in his new oval office.

  41. Sharky says:

    … sent the Norks the GPS coordinates to Hilary Clinton’s location.

  42. tomg51 says:

    …committed 10B$ to subsidize green energy in NK so they don’t need nuclear.

  43. Bob in Feenicks says:

    …offered to share with Kim Jong Un some of his favorite dog recipes.

  44. ColoradoRight says:

    immediately ordered the destruction of every US nuclear weapon

  45. ColoradoRight says:

    asked Valerie Jarret and Michelle if he could go play golf now.

  46. ColoradoRight says:

    … scheduled daily trips to US cities where he could give speeches denouncing Republican efforts to stop his plans for destroying America

  47. Jimmy says:

    …offered to play a game of “I’ll show you mine, if you’ll show me yours” and then showed his anyway.

  48. ColoradoRight says:

    … secretly dispatched his National Security Advisor to Pyonyang with an iPod of all Obama’s speeches back to fourth grade and a set of videotapes documenting the life of Barack and Michelle

  49. ColoradoRight says:

    … gave a speech telling people they shouldn’t go to Vegas, and then hopped on Air Force one and went to Vegas

  50. Dohtimes says:

    …finally had a destination for the Intercontinental Railroad.

    …said “I’m not worried, if you lie down with dogs in N. Korea you get up with dinner, just like here”.

    …finally came out from under Michelle’s skirt when the CIA produced a photo of Kim Jong-un drinking what appeared to be WATER!!!!!!

  51. Max says:

    Issued an official statement that contained those three words we all long to hear from a President: “What Me Worry?”

  52. Writer says:

    . . . denounced it all as a Republican Plot to undermine his destruction of the U. S. nuclear warheads.

  53. Writer says:

    . . . offerred to underwrite their Lead Underwear expansion project.

  54. Oppo says:

    … checked off one more thing on his “to do” list.

  55. Oppo says:

    … raised taxes.

  56. HokieGomer says:

    …quickly consulted the WOPR to see if it could predict his next tee time.

  57. Oppo says:

    … got all sad when someone explained it was proliferation, not a pro-life-ration.

  58. Oppo says:

    … put a push-pin in his world map and went “psssh-ewwwww!” Really, this is what I think of him.

  59. Oppo says:

    … got debriefed by his physical trainer.

  60. Oppo says:

    … gave them a “rike” on their Facebook page. That was racist of him, wasn’t it?

  61. Oppo says:

    … vowed, as Breitbart noticed (Wednesday, February 13, 2013), a swift “US Military Response To North Korea Nuke Threat” if he were president, as he did in 2003.

  62. Oppo says:

    Felt Il.

  63. Writer says:

    . . . sent John Kerry to North Korea to negotiate the surrenders of both South Korea and the United States.

  64. Jimmy says:

    …realized his testicles had sounded the retreat.

  65. CTCompromise says:

    In response to North Korea’s latest nuclear test, Obama…checked the internet for any anti-North Korean videos to blame it on.

  66. CTCompromise says:

    In response to North Korea’s latest nuclear test, Obama…stated he was not surprised, Orientals always do well on tests.

  67. CTCompromise says:

    In response to North Korea‚Äôs latest nuclear test, Obama‚Ķimmediatly sent Biden to “ground zero”.

  68. Jimmy says:

    …told reporters that if he had a son, he would be lucky to look like Kim Jung Un.

  69. Jimmy says:

    …faced Mecca, prostrated himself and prayed to Allah while BO sniffed his butt.

    (Okay, that wasn’t nice. But I’m not nice.)

  70. TiminAL says:

    ……..cried like the Bi+‚ā¨# that he is, but only because it was authorized by the “hottest leader on the planet”

  71. Jimmy says:

    …was briefed on the “nuclear option” regarding North Korea and was surprised to learn it didn’t mean U.S. disarmament.

  72. Iowa Jim says:

    . . . ducked and covered
    . . . asked what his grade was
    . . . asked what the problem was, thinking that North Korea was one of the fifty-seven states

  73. seanmahair says:

    …..wet himself.

  74. Jimmy says:

    …his a$$ blew a perfect ‘A’ note one octave below middle C that sounded like the beginning of a speech.

  75. Grand Larsen E. says:

    Wet his pants.

  76. Veeshir says:

    proposed a new tax, issued an executive order banning all assault rifles and then headed to Palm Beach for a well earned rest.

  77. blarg says:

    … Congratulated his Communist brothers

    … Ignored it and continued pushing his leftist agenda

    ….wondered if they were just looking for a faster way to cook dogs

  78. blarg says:

    … Wrote an executive order mandating that everyone lean the Gangnam Style dance in preparation for welcoming our new Korean masters

  79. NoMoBama says:

    ….said “wow, you guys have crappy nukes, here have some of ours, we have way too many.”

  80. Doug says:

    Said not to worry. It wasn’t a North Korean nuke that generated the 4.9 on the Richter Scale. It was one they were testing for Iran.

  81. rodney dill says:

    …raised his middle finger… then stuck it up his nose.

  82. James says:

    . . . said “are you going to finish that dog?”

  83. tomg51 says:

    …said, “Hey, can I get some of those, too?”

  84. can of spam says:

    … slept through it and made it perfectly clear no one was to call him about it.

  85. Dohtimes says:

    …had to rethink his immigration policies when informed any new Godzilla’s might not qualify for some benefits and voting rights.

  86. Andrew says:

    After the recent escalation in its rhetoric, the NK may have exhausted all the tricks it has in its bullying tactics.
    It seems it is likely to face a situation where it would lose face when it is ignored by all others.
    The international community should not resume or even consider to resume any talks with NK until it backs down by itself totally and completely.
    China should reduce its trade and particularly aid with NK each time the NK plays bully, to make NK’s life more difficulty to send signals that its wayward bully will not work in its own interests but only the contrary.

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