Straight Line of the Day: President Obama Is Having a Second Oval Office Built Because…

Posted on February 7, 2013 12:00 pm

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

President Obama is having a second Oval Office built because…

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68 Responses to “Straight Line of the Day: President Obama Is Having a Second Oval Office Built Because…”

  1. FormerHostage says:

    …his ego barely fits in one.

  2. FormerHostage says:

    …it’s only FAIR since there’s two houses of Congress.

  3. FormerHostage says:

    …he needs one for all his stuff.

  4. CarolyntheMommy says:

    … Biden’s bounce house takes up way too much room in the first one.

  5. FormerHostage says:

    …it’ll confuse the #ell out of Joey! ;-)

  6. Scott says:

    he is afraid he will sit in something left behind by Bill Clinton

  7. Richard B says:

    Michelle’s fat ass has to go somewhere….

  8. Carpenter says:

    ..because he has done far more to ruin America than Osama bin Laden did. He earned it.

  9. Ray says:

    This one has no corners for Biden to sit in.

  10. Mrs. Campbell says:

    His economic recovery has led to such a surplus, he can totally afford a new office.

  11. jw says:

    …because there is nothing he won’t phony up.

  12. srm000 says:

    …he HAD so much extra “tax” money and nothing to do with it. China is happy about it though.

  13. Jimmy says:

    …the original Oval Office is a gun-free zone and the new one will allow him to shoot skeet all the time.

  14. Pug Mahon says:

    …his alternate universe Goatee Obama kept prattling about things like federalism, capitalism, and the sanctity of life. this office will lock from the outside, though, so we may never see Goatee Obama.

  15. srm000 says:

    … he feels the “Oval” office is contradicting the shape of his head, so he is naming this one the “Circle Office”

  16. James says:

    With trillion dollar spending they needed more room for the Autopen machines.

  17. Conservatarian says:

    …, geometry, like math in general, is trivial and confusing. His new “Oval Office” will be known as “The Thrown Room”

  18. Apostic says:

    …because Biden was told to go sit in the corner, and he’s still looking for one…

  19. g says:

    … So he can blame everything on the inhabitant of the last oval office and not the present one.

  20. artvol11 says:

    …Biden keeps getting the room confused with the toilet

  21. DamnCat says:

    …the old one is racist.

  22. tomg51 says:

    …it will make make it easier to ditch Biden.

    …he trashed the first one shooting skeet.

    …he wants to hide things in the walls so he can star in the next National Treasure movie.

    …someone said the original had two foci in it, and he’s been scared ever since……

  23. CTCompromise says:

    …to make the sign for eternity, so he can stay there forever.

  24. CTCompromise says:

    …it’s a shovel ready project.

  25. CTCompromise says:

    ….he will get to name it after himself, no doubt.

  26. CTCompromise says:

    ….he can save time by having two world leaders he is apologizing to at the same time.

  27. Jimmy says:

    Why not make it three Oval Orifices? That way, we can play “Which Door Is Obama Behind?” Door #1, Door #2 or Door#3? Oh, Monty…

  28. Dohtimes says:

    …picky Muslim dignitaries insisted on meeting him in the offal office.

    …his throne clashed with the carpet and drapes in the old one.

    …if it looks like a kennel and smells like a kennel and is full of dogs, the old one is just a pantry.

  29. Writer says:

    . . . so he can be “out” even when he is “in”.

  30. Writer says:

    . . . to have room to launch his clay pigeons.

  31. Raving Lunatic says:

    …because the current one is so old, it’s out-of-round.

    #19 is probably truth

  32. Writer says:

    . . . to house his head.

  33. Writer says:

    . . . to house the Treasury Department once it has been completely emptied.

  34. Manse says:

    Because he’s afraid of Reagan’s ghost.

    Because he needs more “closet” space.

    Because the other one smelled like old white people.

  35. Dohtimes says:

    …as befits Obama, the new office will have angels rolling away the stone as Mary Magdalene ushers you into office, which will be empty because he will be out playing golf.

  36. Cliff says:

    thats where he can watch Honey Boo Boo in private.

  37. rodney dill says:

    Joe is still trying to sit in the corner of the first one….

  38. rodney dill says:

    …cause the ‘stuff’ in the first one is almost over the top of his hip waders.

  39. rodney dill says:

    …’cause Chris Christie got stuck blocking the door of the first one.

  40. rodney dill says:

    …cause his teleprompter has taken over the first one.

  41. Apostic says:

    ..George Soros needed a convenient working area.

  42. Sharky says:

    … he needed a place to display all his skeet shooting trophies.

  43. blarg says:

    … Because his policies have allowed several unfriendly countries to develop missiles capable of hitting Washington so he wanted a decoy

    … Because why have one when you can have two at twice the price… Especially when it’s not your money.

    … He got sick of Soros sitting in his chair

  44. Marc says:

    …he didn’t build that. Someone else made that happen.

    …because when you have to cut military pay and maintenance funding the logical thing to do is renovate the Oval Office and build a second one.

  45. rodney dill says:

    …that’s what he gets for putting Joe in charge of Fringe Division.

  46. gsmtiger says:

    …he wants to turn the other one into a miniature golf course.

  47. gsmtiger says:

    … he needs one for his wookies.

  48. gsmtiger says:

    …because he wants to be able to escape Michelle’s rage powers.

  49. gsmtiger says:

    …he wants one for his imaginary son to make up for not letting him play football.

  50. gsmtiger says:

    …the original one is full of binders.

  51. Oppo says:

    — my God — he’s undergoing Might-osis!!!

  52. Oppo says:

    … he wanted to make his earlier decision to buy two identical monstrous bulletproof black buses look totally normal and typical.

  53. Oppo says:

    … one’s for the money, two’s for the show.

  54. Oppo says:

    … he decoded a message that said not to forget his Oval-team.

  55. Oppo says:

    … he screwed up the oath of office AGAIN and promised “to uphold the dualities of the offices of the President of the United States.”

  56. Oppo says:

    … he thought Marx said “two each, according to his need.”

  57. Dohtimes says:

    …their list of things to waste money on is in alphabetical order.

    …when it comes time to give up office he can keep one.

    …black people still have to work twice as hard to receive proper credit.

  58. Manse says:

    The new one has an appearance balcony so he can wave and bless the great unwashed.

  59. Writer says:

    . . . so he could talk out of the other side of his mouth.

  60. CarolyntheMommy says:

    … it gives Bill Clinton his old work space back so Obama doesn’t have to ask him to repeatedly fly back from NY every time he needs his a$$ saved.

  61. CarolyntheMommy says:

    …. because he wants to tell even more people, “You didn’t build that.”

  62. CarolyntheMommy says:

    … he needs more wall space for his portraits of Mao

  63. CarolyntheMommy says:

    …. it’s good to give Joey Bear a playroom close to where Obama can keep his eye on him

  64. Bob in Feenicks says:

    …he finally found the perfect volcano for it to be built in.

    …for racial diversity, it will be built in the Black House.

    …two giant ovals remind him of Michelle’s butt.

  65. CTCompromise says:

    …he has to find a better way to distracte Biden during games of “Hide & Seek”.

  66. Manse says:

    He needed more mirrors so he would never lose sight of himself. Pose, pose, pose

  67. Dohtimes says:

    …”No Smoking In The Oval Office” is not written in the plural.

    …liberals belief in liberal math think it doubles his chances of finally making a wise decision.

  68. IMAO » Blog Archive » You’ve Been Judged! links:

    [...] Keln of Nuking Politics picked his favorite punchlines to “President Obama is having a second Oval Office built because…” [...]

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