Straight Line of the Day: The First Tweet on Al Qaeda’s New Twitter Account…

Posted on February 11, 2013 12:00 pm

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

The first tweet on Al Qaeda’s new Twitter account

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55 Responses to “Straight Line of the Day: The First Tweet on Al Qaeda’s New Twitter Account…”

  1. Genghis Khen says:

    I can haz all ur goatz

  2. artvol11 says:


  3. rodney dill says:

    Quick Achmed… put the pin back in the gren

  4. rodney dill says:

    Allahu Twitbar

  5. rodney dill says:

    Shessh I’m tired of goat.

  6. gsmtiger says:

    This character limit goes against Allah!

  7. gsmtiger says:

    You shall al bow before Allah’s mighty 120 characters!

  8. rodney dill says:

    C U @ Spring break Tel Aviv, It’ll be a blast.

  9. gsmtiger says:

    We’re on Twitter! Follow us to hear the will of Allah daily!

  10. tomg51 says:

    #gurlorgoat – vote now

  11. rodney dill says:

    DIY Suicide Bombings – there’s an app for that.

  12. Cliff says:

    We will walk many mile for camel.

  13. rodney dill says:

    @tomg51 #10 – I kid you not.

  14. rodney dill says:

    #humpedanimals – Even our sheep are domedary.

  15. artvol11 says:

    no one can #twitterbomb like we can #YOLO

  16. Oppo says:

    … was from the U.S.: “Up till now, we’ve been a mediocre Satan at best. Want to see a great Satan?”

  17. Ernie Loco says:

    Death to America! RT if you think #JustinBeiber is sexxxy!!

  18. gsmtiger says:

    Subscribe on Youtube for DIY bomb tutorials!

  19. DamnCat says:


  20. Oppo says:

    safkbkasakfn;kne 0[aa*

    [*the monkey that set up the Twitter account is in space]

  21. Oppo says:

    Service No Longer Available: This account suspended due to violations of terms of service. — Twitter

  22. tomg51 says:


  23. Oppo says:

    “Did you see Obama trying to fire skeet gun? lol lol lol lol”

  24. Oppo says:

    ha ha hashishtag get it give it here no its my turn give it 2 me let go ur going to break it im usin it wait ur turn k fine boom just kidding

  25. g says:

    … I keel you!!

  26. Oppo says:

    “Obama was right: we are now in full retweet all over the world. Ha!”

  27. Oppo says:

    Aaugh! I’m using an infi-Dell computer!

  28. a guy named Rob says:


  29. Son of Bob says:

    …denied the Infidels’ false reporting that Al Qaeda had a Twitter account.

  30. Oppo says:

    Yep, the popularity of Twitter is exploding.

  31. Oppo says:

    OMG . . . I mean, OMA . . .

  32. storm1911 says:

    # slpodeyguysrus

  33. CTCompromise says:

    We expand like Al Gore #Al Jezeera Network

  34. CTCompromise says:

    There are no friends, only enemies we haven’t blown up yet.

  35. CTCompromise says:

    12th century meets 21st century today!

  36. Oppo says:

    I forgot my Peshaward

  37. plentyobailouts says:

    #Myname is Indigo bin laden, you killed my father, prepare to die.

  38. Dohtimes says:

    …Burqa chicks are hot!!! #MakeMyRobeATent

  39. Jimmy says:

    …”Twitter is Great Satan. It corrupteded me! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhlaaaaaahhh!!!”

  40. Corey says:

    Durka Durka #muhammad jihad

  41. artvol11 says:


  42. Max says:


  43. FormerHostage says:

    #suicidejokes A terrorist walks into a mosque and says…

  44. FormerHostage says:

    #suicidejokes Who do martyrs look up to? Napolean Blownapart lol

  45. FormerHostage says:

    How many martyrs does it take to change a light bulb? What’s a light bulb? #lolterritz

  46. Bob in Feenicks says:

    …Kill Ugly Betty #DeathToAmerica

  47. FormerHostage says:

    What is another name for goat herder? Pimp #lolterritz

  48. FormerHostage says:

    gonna party like its 1499 #blowtheroofoff

  49. Jimmy says:

    …”We are looking for virgins in all the wrong places.”

  50. rodney dill says:

    Gitmo sperm smugglers wanted. #donot$wall0w

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