Straight Line of the Day: The Most Awkward Moment at Chuck Hagel’s Defense Secretary Confirmation Hearing…

Posted on February 4, 2013 12:00 pm

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

The most awkward moment at Chuck Hagel’s Defense Secretary confirmation hearing…

Send to Kindle
1 Star (Hated it)2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (Awesome) (2 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)

55 Responses to “Straight Line of the Day: The Most Awkward Moment at Chuck Hagel’s Defense Secretary Confirmation Hearing…”

  1. Apostic says:

    …was when he finally noticed he wasn’t wearing pants.

  2. Mrs. Campbell says:

    was Hillary mumbling in the back of the hall, “What does it matter?”

    all those joos, flaunting their political power.

    will be when the senate confirms him anyway.

  3. Apostic says:

    …was his request for a lunch break: “Jew eat?” “No. Jew?”

  4. Apostic says:

    …was when he demonstrated his military acumen in a song.

  5. DrRiff says:

    Was when we realized that Chuck Hagel had a Defense Secretary Confirmation Hearing…

  6. Uncle Kevvie, That's Who says:

    There has to only be one minute?

    Well then, it was when Chuckles woke up that day ….about 10 minutes after he left the hearing room……….

  7. FredKey says:

    When he was handed a note from an aide explaining that he had mispronounced his name.

  8. Apostic says:

    … was “The Poles Iranian people are independent and autonomous and have territorial integrity, and the US does not conceded that they are under domination.”

  9. Apostic says:

    …was his announcement of a new weapons technology called the “killer joke,” which he said he’d seen in a documentary a few years ago.

  10. g says:

    … was whenever hagel spoke.

  11. Manolo says:

    The most awkward moment at Chuck Hagel’s Defense Secretary confirmation hearing was when Sen. Carl Levin groaned, shook his head and remarked, “Aw, jeez… That’s going to end up on IMAO for sure.”

  12. tomg51 says:

    ..was when he said he use the methods of the Spanish Inquisition on detainees.

  13. Eric Praline says:

    …was when a drunk John McCain told Hagel that Obama could never love him the way he did.

  14. Manolo says:

    The most awkward moment at Chuck Hagel’s Defense Secretary confirmation hearing was when he answered the question about President Obama’s containment policy with, “Hey…Who put a baloney sandwich in my pocket?!!”

  15. zipity says:

    …was when a pair of souvenir Dominican Republic panties given to him by his buddy Senator Robert Menendez fell out of his pocket…

  16. zipity says:

    …was when he could not provide an answer to the question “Which of you is dumber, you or Joe Biden…?”

  17. Manolo says:

    The most awkward moment at Chuck Hagel’s Defense Secretary confirmation hearing…was Sen. Mike Lee asking him to prove he could spell USMC.

  18. CTCompromise says:

    ….was when Hagel walked in with a cut out letter D and a cut out picket fence.

  19. Manolo says:

    The most awkward moment at Chuck Hagel’s Defense Secretary confirmation hearing…was how he kept playing with his plastic green army men throughout the hearing.

  20. CTCompromise says:

    …was when Hagel thought the Joint Chiefs of Staff referred to drug cartels.

  21. Manolo says:

    The most awkward moment at Chuck Hagel’s Defense Secretary confirmation hearing…was Sen. Mike Lee asking him to prove he could spell USMC. …and Sen. McCaskill asked the committee chair if it’d be okay for the nominee to give just a partial spelling and submit the rest of the response in writing.

  22. Son of Bob says:

    …was when he kept stopping mid-sentence to yell, “Look, a squirrel!”

  23. Manolo says:

    The most awkward moment at Chuck Hagel’s Defense Secretary confirmation hearing…was when Hagel asked the committe chair if he could “Go to the little general’s room to shake hands with his privates.”

  24. Manolo says:

    The most awkward moment at Chuck Hagel’s Defense Secretary confirmation hearing…was how after every answer Hagel slapped a big red “Easy” button.

  25. AwesometificAmerican says:

    …When he said “I hate Israel, and love Iran..uh what? This was the Secretary of Defense hearing? I prepped all my answers for the Secretary of State Job!”

  26. Manolo says:

    The most awkward moment at Chuck Hagel’s Defense Secretary confirmation hearing…was when he introduced his personal staff to the committee as “Comrades Cho Sing, Machamedjin Abbattani, and Yurev Chavo.”

  27. Manolo says:

    The most awkward moment at Chuck Hagel’s Defense Secretary confirmation hearing…was hearing him recite the Pledge of Allegiance in perfect Mandarin.

  28. Dohtimes says:

    …was when zombie Neville Chamberlain shambled into the room as his adviser.

    …the confusing start when he showed up wearing the same pants suit Hillary wore at her testimony.

    …was John Effin Kerry’s snide comment that Hagel’s white flag clashed with his pink tutu. Kerry then posed with his own fashion statement of “No! No! No! This is not a surrender flag, it’s a handkerchief on a stick”.

  29. Manolo says:

    The most awkward moment at Chuck Hagel’s Defense Secretary confirmation hearing…was hearing the spectators in the gallery chant, “We want a Death Star. We want a Death Star. We want a Death Star…”

  30. Manolo says:

    The most awkward moment at Chuck Hagel’s Defense Secretary confirmation hearing…was when he said his choice for Secretary of the Navy is the President of NAMBLA.

  31. Manolo says:

    The most awkward moment at Chuck Hagel’s Defense Secretary confirmation hearing…was when he insisted that it’s impossible for a metal ship to float.

  32. Manolo says:

    The most awkward moment at Chuck Hagel’s Defense Secretary confirmation hearing…was him saying that as a Senator he practically worshipped the Pentagram.

  33. Jimmy says:

    …was when his face went blank and people gasped, “It’s full of stars!”

  34. Sharky says:

    … when asked why he most wanted to be Secretary of Defense, Hagel replied, “Because of my life-long love of chain link and barbed wire.”

  35. rodney dill says:

    …was when he kept raising his arms in the air and screaming, “SERENITY NOW!!!”

  36. rodney dill says:

    …was his rolling the two ball bearings around in his hand muttering something about who ate the strawberries.

  37. rodney dill says:

    …was his profound knowledge of Vogon poetry.

  38. rodney dill says:

    …was when he performed the Star Spangled Banner completely via Flatuence… the high notes were specktacular.

  39. rodney dill says:

    …was his unexpected Gungan accent

  40. Bob in Feenicks says:

    …when faced with a question he couldn’t answer, responded, “What do you mean, African or European?”

  41. blarg says:

    … When he absentmindedly started listing all the reasons for why we should annex Poland

    … When Barney Frank asked him if he told him he had a beautiful body if he’d hold it against him

    … When his answers made Caitlin Upton sound intelligent

  42. blarg says:

    … Constantly having to explain to him that the 5th amendment does not apply in Senate confirmation hearings since he wasn’t on trial, but he just kept insisting that he was just following orders.

  43. Iowa Jim says:

    . . . was the moment at which he put his hands over his ears and shouted over and over, “I can’t hear you!”

  44. rodney dill says:

    …was when HE introduced John Kerry and Joe Biden, as his brother Darryl, and his other brother Darryl.

  45. Bob in Feenicks says:

    …when he ‘fell’ out of his chair and faked a concussion.

  46. Dohtimes says:

    …was Obama holding a shotgun and reminding everyone that if he had a son all white people would look like skeet to him, especially Republicans.

    …was when John Kerry served him with a copyright suit for mentioning that he had served in Vietnam.

    …came when he explained to McCain the difference between a homeless guy sleeping in dumpsters and a sniper shooting space aliens in the alley behind the Chinese restaurant with his ray gun and besides what difference does it make if Martians died?

  47. DamnCat says:

    …was when he claimed that his “Jewish lobby” remark was in reference to the waiting room at his gastroenterologist’s office.

  48. Oppo says:

    … was when he promised his first order of business would be to put down the Wuss Skeet Rebellion.

  49. Oppo says:

    … was when he said he loves to see women in combat positions, and winked.

  50. Oppo says:

    … was when he started his testimony by introducing himself as Chuck, via “The Name Game” song.

  51. rodney dill says:

    When they asked him on his views of Military Psy-Ops he started dancing Gangnam style.

  52. Writer says:

    . . . was when he responded to “Why do you consider yourself a Republican?” with “Because I want to get elected”.

  53. Oppo says:

    … when Paula Broadwell started sexting him.

  54. FormerHostage says:

    …was when he started answering in “gansta” to look tough.

    …was the flurry of text messages he kept getting from Ahmadinejad.

    …was when, after a particularly tough question, he pleaded the Fifth.

    …was when he yelled ‘hoohaa’ after each answer and pumped his fist.

    …was after mention was made of the destruction of Israel he started groping himself.

  55. IMAO » Blog Archive » You’ve Been Judged! links:

    […] Keln of Nuking Politics picked his favorite punchlines to “The most awkward moment at Chuck Hagel’s Defense Secretary confirmation hearing…” […]

Leave a Reply

XHTML: You can use these tags: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>