Straight Line of the Day: The Weirdest Thing About Michelle Obama’s Appearance at the Oscars…

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The weirdest thing about Michelle Obama’s appearance at the Oscars…

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  1. …was her husband being awarded a special Oscar for his Titanic failures.

    …she was topless and her boobs are tattooed “Rose” and “Bud”.

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  2. … that she put down the rack of bbq ribs for the entire duration of the appearance

    … that she didn’t have time to shave before such a high profile appearance

    … that it only cost Harvey Weinstein only a couple of campaign contributions to get the First Lady to jump when he said “jump”

    … that anyone was still watching

    … that she didn’t chastise Adelle for being fat

    … that she didn’t say “daddy sends his love” to Jamie Fox

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  3. …was her apparent surprise that for the 4th year, Obama was snubbed and didn’t win any of the awards by existing.

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  4. …her announcement that the entire movie industry has been granted an exemption from Obama care and gun bans.

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  5. …was when she opened by shouting “Kneel before Zod!”

    …was announcing the winner in High Klingon.

    …was when they introduced her by shouting “Release the Kracken!”

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  6. …the soldiers and airmen in the background. (As a former Army officer I interpret the expressions on their faces–smiling like idiots–as “I have been ordered to put on my mess dress uniform and be here, smiling, as background for yet another self agrandizing appearance.” Not likely that on a ‘typical’ evening she just happens to be hanging out with a gagle of military personnel all in their best dress uniforms.)

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  7. …was that she appeared intelligent, likable, modest, and attractive….and won the “Best Special Effects” category.

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  8. …was when told a fish-eye lens was needed to frame her entire head she asked if she could eat the rest of the fish.

    …she announced that Barack was suing Mel Gibson for not paying him for using his likeness in The Passion Of The Christ.

    …her reenactment of Meg Ryan’s fake O scene and capping it off by saying I’ll have fries with that.

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  9. …is that she had the bravery and thick skin to appear at an event where she’d have to risk being in front of so many people that might not be fans of her after that whole NASCAR fiasco.

    …is that almost half of the Academy Awards’ craft services budget was spent in Washington DC.

    …is that she didn’t win “Best Production Design” for using military personel as props and set dressing so skillfully in her appearance

    …is how Christin Stewart claimed that her leg was miraculously healed when Michelle Obama appeared on the screen

    …is that someone is now trying to sell the screen on which Michelle Obama appeared as a holy relic on which the image of St. Michelle appeared

    …is how many participants described Michelle’s appearace as “sobering”

    …is how Clooney had to “rearrange” himself after Michelle appeared on the screen

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  10. …was when she talked about meeting Barack when they starred in The Big Red One, the XXX film directed by Michael Moore.

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  11. … was when she confessed that she had to inform John Kerry that SethMcfarland was not the name of a country.

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  12. …she got down on her knees to thank Hollywood for her SAG card and then tearfully tore off her boob belt.

    …was saying she wished to God she had watched The Crying Game before getting married, but at least her kids weren’t adopted like most of the ones in Hollywood seem to be.

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  13. Was her gracious entry. When she ripped her way out of John Hurts chest, everyone pretended not to notice.

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  14. #49 & 34 🙂 (among a lot of others)

    …was half way through her speech, Peter Mayhew put her on for his part in Star Wars VII.

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  15. … was how she tried to insult Clint Eastwood’s empty chair, but it replied “Hey, at least I don’t live with La-Z-Boy!”

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  16. …was her announcing that her husband would be starring in the latest Transformers movie as Sequestrator , a smug, ruggedly-metrosexual, havoc-wreaking Prius.

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  17. …was how Harvey Weinstein had to settle for her because he couldn’t meet Honey Boo-Boo’s “ask” for the cold-read.

    …was how Spielberg was overheard saying Harvey thinks he’s trumping me with her?!? The schmuck! A Bonobo wrapped in tinfoil could do better!

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  18. …was when the folks in dinner jackets behind her did the title song from “Hello Dolly” as “Hello FLOTUS”.

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