Straight Line of the Day: The Weirdest Thing About Michelle Obama’s Appearance at the Oscars…
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
The weirdest thing about Michelle Obama’s appearance at the Oscars…
Send to Kindle
(1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
February 25th, 2013 at 12:01 pm
…is frankly just her appearance.
February 25th, 2013 at 12:03 pm
…was that she kept referencing hanging out with Seth Macfairlane at the Bearded Clam in Quahog afterward.
February 25th, 2013 at 12:03 pm
…she kept saying, “Let the Wookie win.”
February 25th, 2013 at 12:05 pm
that she did not spend $10 million in Taxpayer dollars just to fly out and attend in person.
February 25th, 2013 at 12:07 pm
… that she wasn’t given an Oscar of her own.
February 25th, 2013 at 12:12 pm
… was that anyone was surprised by one of the royal couple inserting themselves into any event.
February 25th, 2013 at 12:18 pm
…was michelle obama.
February 25th, 2013 at 12:20 pm
…was that she kept saying she only came for the Pi.
February 25th, 2013 at 12:21 pm
… Sarah Jessica Parker wouldn’t leave Michelle’s side. Turns out it was her one chance to look attractive
February 25th, 2013 at 12:22 pm
…it was the first time she was proud of The Oscars.
February 25th, 2013 at 12:22 pm
…was the record number of TV remote control clicks that occurred the moment she appeared.
February 25th, 2013 at 12:24 pm
… wasthat no one called her the Red Carpette.
February 25th, 2013 at 12:24 pm
…was her husband being awarded a special Oscar for his Titanic failures.
…she was topless and her boobs are tattooed “Rose” and “Bud”.
February 25th, 2013 at 12:25 pm
… was that she herself didn’t get a Look-atta-me Award.
February 25th, 2013 at 12:27 pm
… that she put down the rack of bbq ribs for the entire duration of the appearance
… that she didn’t have time to shave before such a high profile appearance
… that it only cost Harvey Weinstein only a couple of campaign contributions to get the First Lady to jump when he said “jump”
… that anyone was still watching
… that she didn’t chastise Adelle for being fat
… that she didn’t say “daddy sends his love” to Jamie Fox
February 25th, 2013 at 12:28 pm
…was when the directors of Argo announced Argo 2:Benghazi was in production.
February 25th, 2013 at 12:29 pm
Her surprising snub by the Oscar Committee–She was a shoe-in for best supporting actress in a Fiscal tragedy.
February 25th, 2013 at 12:34 pm
…when holding an Oscar she kept asking, “Where do the D-cells go?”
February 25th, 2013 at 12:35 pm
…she kept saying he Cleavon Little won the best actor award.
February 25th, 2013 at 12:37 pm
…just like Seth’s song… we got to see her boobs… Barry and Joe.
February 25th, 2013 at 12:39 pm
…was Barack playing a fiddle behind her and the rolling end credits for Fellini Satyricon.
February 25th, 2013 at 12:42 pm
was that she didn’t present the Award for Lifetime Achievement in film to Barack.
February 25th, 2013 at 12:51 pm
…was that when she didn’t win any awards she called for “redistribution of awards”.
February 25th, 2013 at 12:51 pm
…was that we saw very little of the “angry Michelle” face.
February 25th, 2013 at 12:52 pm
…was that very few people started blogs about her fashion choices like they usually do.
February 25th, 2013 at 1:01 pm
…was her apparent surprise that for the 4th year, Obama was snubbed and didn’t win any of the awards by existing.
February 25th, 2013 at 1:02 pm
…her announcement that the entire movie industry has been granted an exemption from Obama care and gun bans.
February 25th, 2013 at 1:04 pm
. . . when she tried to give Barry the Oscar for “best supporting actor in a political farce”.
February 25th, 2013 at 1:06 pm
When her opening lines were “You like me. Right now, you really like me”…
February 25th, 2013 at 1:06 pm
…was when she opened by shouting “Kneel before Zod!”
…was announcing the winner in High Klingon.
…was when they introduced her by shouting “Release the Kracken!”
February 25th, 2013 at 1:07 pm
When she did a one-handed push up…
February 25th, 2013 at 1:07 pm
…the soldiers and airmen in the background. (As a former Army officer I interpret the expressions on their faces–smiling like idiots–as “I have been ordered to put on my mess dress uniform and be here, smiling, as background for yet another self agrandizing appearance.” Not likely that on a ‘typical’ evening she just happens to be hanging out with a gagle of military personnel all in their best dress uniforms.)
February 25th, 2013 at 1:08 pm
neither her work as a wookie in Star Wars or as a Klingon in Star Trek were even nominated for an Oscar.
February 25th, 2013 at 1:08 pm
…was that she appeared intelligent, likable, modest, and attractive….and won the “Best Special Effects” category.
February 25th, 2013 at 1:13 pm
Bacon to Former Hostage
February 25th, 2013 at 1:16 pm
When she announced that the Oscars were a projet funded by the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act…
February 25th, 2013 at 1:30 pm
..was that the audience prostrated themselves and averted their eyes from her image.
February 25th, 2013 at 1:40 pm
was that they didn’t give her a Lifetime Achievement Award for her work as Security Chief in ST:TNG.
February 25th, 2013 at 1:43 pm
was that they cut out the part where she started shrieking “Ni…Ni”
February 25th, 2013 at 2:00 pm
….was when she had a wardrobe malfunction and bit the head off Oscar.
February 25th, 2013 at 2:01 pm
…was when told a fish-eye lens was needed to frame her entire head she asked if she could eat the rest of the fish.
…she announced that Barack was suing Mel Gibson for not paying him for using his likeness in The Passion Of The Christ.
…her reenactment of Meg Ryan’s fake O scene and capping it off by saying I’ll have fries with that.
February 25th, 2013 at 2:10 pm
…is that she had the bravery and thick skin to appear at an event where she’d have to risk being in front of so many people that might not be fans of her after that whole NASCAR fiasco.
…is that almost half of the Academy Awards’ craft services budget was spent in Washington DC.
…is that she didn’t win “Best Production Design” for using military personel as props and set dressing so skillfully in her appearance
…is how Christin Stewart claimed that her leg was miraculously healed when Michelle Obama appeared on the screen
…is that someone is now trying to sell the screen on which Michelle Obama appeared as a holy relic on which the image of St. Michelle appeared
…is how many participants described Michelle’s appearace as “sobering”
…is how Clooney had to “rearrange” himself after Michelle appeared on the screen
February 25th, 2013 at 2:11 pm
…instead of Les Miserables she likened the US to More Miserable
February 25th, 2013 at 2:11 pm
was that once again, Ursa refused to be seen with her in public.
February 25th, 2013 at 2:13 pm
…was when she slipped and mistakenly called them the HypoCritics’ Choice Awards
February 25th, 2013 at 2:16 pm
…was when she talked about meeting Barack when they starred in The Big Red One, the XXX film directed by Michael Moore.
February 25th, 2013 at 2:21 pm
… was when she confessed that she had to inform John Kerry that SethMcfarland was not the name of a country.
February 25th, 2013 at 2:30 pm
…she got down on her knees to thank Hollywood for her SAG card and then tearfully tore off her boob belt.
…was saying she wished to God she had watched The Crying Game before getting married, but at least her kids weren’t adopted like most of the ones in Hollywood seem to be.
February 25th, 2013 at 2:33 pm
Was her gracious entry. When she ripped her way out of John Hurts chest, everyone pretended not to notice.
February 25th, 2013 at 2:45 pm
#49 & 34
(among a lot of others)
…was half way through her speech, Peter Mayhew put her on for his part in Star Wars VII.
February 25th, 2013 at 2:50 pm
… was that Jimmy Tingle got a Matthews up his leg.
February 25th, 2013 at 2:51 pm
.. was that she seemed nonplussed, but in reality is plussed.
February 25th, 2013 at 3:12 pm
… was how glad she seemed that there weren’t any independent filmmakers in the audience.
February 25th, 2013 at 3:36 pm
… was how she tried to insult Clint Eastwood’s empty chair, but it replied “Hey, at least I don’t live with La-Z-Boy!”
February 25th, 2013 at 4:11 pm
#49 gets all the bacon!
February 25th, 2013 at 5:07 pm
.. is that the person whose husband jailed a filmmaker for political expediency was so well received.
February 25th, 2013 at 5:10 pm
…was that she wasn’t awarded an Oscar for not being Bush.
February 25th, 2013 at 5:55 pm
… was that her husband is a Cannes man.
February 25th, 2013 at 5:57 pm
… was when Barry’s skeet photo won for Best Sporting Actor.
February 25th, 2013 at 6:04 pm
They didn’t show her butt.
February 25th, 2013 at 7:04 pm
. . . was when the Beagle leg bone slipped out of her fingers on camera.
February 25th, 2013 at 7:07 pm
. . . how the Oscar onstage puked when she was projected onto the wall beside him.
February 25th, 2013 at 7:51 pm
…was her announcing that her husband would be starring in the latest Transformers movie as Sequestrator , a smug, ruggedly-metrosexual, havoc-wreaking Prius.
February 25th, 2013 at 8:25 pm
…was how Harvey Weinstein had to settle for her because he couldn’t meet Honey Boo-Boo’s “ask” for the cold-read.
…was how Spielberg was overheard saying Harvey thinks he’s trumping me with her?!? The schmuck! A Bonobo wrapped in tinfoil could do better!
February 25th, 2013 at 9:52 pm
. . . was the Standing Ovation she received from the Klingon delegation.
February 26th, 2013 at 12:33 am
…was when she ended by saying she was glad Argo won – because it is her favorite brand of cornstarch.
February 26th, 2013 at 12:37 am
…was seing the First Lady out-diva Barbra Streisand.
February 26th, 2013 at 12:41 am
…was when the folks in dinner jackets behind her did the title song from “Hello Dolly” as “Hello FLOTUS”.
February 27th, 2013 at 9:15 pm
[...] Keln of Nuking Politics picked his favorite punchlines to “The weirdest thing about Michelle Obama’s appearance at the Oscars…” [...]