Straight Line of the Day: To Fill the Doctor Shortage Caused by Obamacare, California…

Posted on February 13, 2013 12:00 pm

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

To fill the doctor shortage caused by Obamacare, California

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87 Responses to “Straight Line of the Day: To Fill the Doctor Shortage Caused by Obamacare, California…”

  1. Dohtimes says:

    …now offers Pay-per-view breast exams.

    …will make Garrett Morris yell at your kidney stones.

    …has moved to Cuba.

    …has allowed San Francisco doctors to wear fists during exams.

  2. Tau Dades says:

    …will only allow illegal immigrants to receive health care.

  3. Iowa Jim says:

    . . . is extending an invitation to Julius “Dr. J” Erving to move there; they wanted Dr. Seuss, as well, but gave up when they were informed that he’s dead –
    every cell of his body disrupted.

  4. CarolyntheMommy says:

    … will continue doing what it’s doing: running everyone out of the state to Nevada and Arizona.

    … declaring all the sick people ‘healthy’.

  5. Oppo says:

    … has hinted that Sports Illustrated swimsuit models and Playboy bunnies are feeling not so hot anymore.

  6. Oppo says:

    … will call the Surgeon General on the field telephone and yell “Medic!”

  7. Oppo says:

    …will hire more spin doctors. Kill two birds with one stone.

  8. Oppo says:

    … will get more dentists off the plaque market.

  9. Oppo says:

    … will ask actors what to do. Is there anything they don’t know?

  10. Oppo says:

    … wrote itself a proscription, which is something it’s good at.

  11. Oppo says:

    … asked a bunch of Jewish mothers how to find an available doctor.

  12. Oppo says:

    … dropped hints [this is a pretty gross one] in San Francisco that doctors get *paid* to use rectal thermometers.

  13. blarg says:

    …will chase anyone capable of affording medical care out of the state by raising their taxes until they leave.

    …will start deploying unmarked vans that abduct vagrants off the streets, dress them in lab coats and give them stethoscopes and licenses to practice medicine.

    …will start a “guns for medical license” giveaway

  14. Jimmy says:

    @56: That did it. Bacon!

  15. Oppo says:

    @63: “…will start a “guns for medical license” giveaway” – Blarg

    “Sawbucks for sawbones”

  16. Oppo says:

    … asked Valerie Jarrett how the White House manages to conjure up so many, out of thin air, every time there’s a photo op for ObamaCare.

  17. Dohtimes says:

    …will let anyone with a windowless van buy candy with food stamps and become a pediatrician.

    …will no longer pay hookers to be petri dishes, use money to buy bananas for monkey hits the knee with a hammer test.

    …promises doctors that they have permission to order seX-ray test before patient gets undressed.

    …paid Chaz Bono a billion dollars to become a doctor, treat self.

  18. Oppo says:

    … will go through their binders full of women doctors and hire some of them.

  19. frogmouth says:

    …has passed a law making it illegal to get sick. Unless you’re an “undocumented worker” then it’s totally chill, ese. Free health care over here, yo.

  20. CTCompromise says:

    …closed all national chain book stores and requested help From “Doctors Without Borders”.

  21. CTCompromise says:

    To fill the doctor shortage caused by Obamacare, California…got an exemption to Obamacare because they are all VERY big financial contributors to the D.N.C.

  22. CTCompromise says:

    To fill the doctor shortage caused by Obamacare, California…forced all plastic surgeons to do a day of “community service” in an E.R.

  23. CTCompromise says:

    ….sent out carts hauled by people yelling “Bring Out Your Dead”.

  24. CTCompromise says:

    ……requested drone strikes.

  25. Jimmy says:

    …started showing clips of Charles Dickens “A Christmas Carol” on TV where Scrooge says,

    “If they would rather die, they had better do it, and decrease the surplus population of California.”

    (That last part was dubbed-in by me, a George C. Scott sound-alike.)

  26. Crabby Old Bat says:

    @ Marc #41: Where’s the hat tip to Shirley Jackson?

    http://www.americanliterature.com/author/shirley-jackson/short-story/the-lottery

  27. GrandLarsenE says:

    Will simply outlaw sickness. Problem solved.

  28. Max says:

    Will be fast tracking all applications for those wishing to open a leech farm

  29. Dpdawg says:

    Import all those awesome Doctors from Cuba

  30. Dpdawg says:

    Use an overseas call center to direct patients to do their own surgery

  31. RAML says:

    will make your next Dr or Emergency visit like something along the line of a trip to Golden Coral or what ever your local self serve restaurants is called. Just grab what you want and have it installed by the illegal on the left.

  32. Writer says:

    . . . will offer Medical Licenses instead of money to Lottery Winners.

  33. Writer says:

    . . . offer Internet Courses for medical degrees.

  34. Bob in Feenicks says:

    …is trying to clone Neil Patrick Harris in order to create an army of Doogie Housers in a couple of years.

  35. rodney dill says:

    @CTCompromise #74

    ……requested drone strikes.

    …when the only tool you have is a hammer, all problems look like a nail.

  36. rodney dill says:

    …prescribed reading IMAO (laughter is the best medicine)

  37. IMAO » Blog Archive » You’ve Been Judged! links:

    […] Keln of Nuking Politics picked his favorite punchlines to “To fill the doctor shortage caused by Obamacare, California…” […]

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