Straight Line of the Day: While Playing Golf With Tiger Woods, Obama…

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

While playing golf with Tiger Woods, Obama…

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  1. …said “I left the b!tch at home like you said…now show me how to get me some hoes!”

    …said “I didn’t bring Michelle because I thought you meand “G.O.L.F golf, not GOLF golf!” (guys only, ladies forbidden, commonly used bachelor party acronym for “there’s gonna be strippers and stuff you don’t want your significant other to know about”

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  2. …kept referring to Reggie Love as the 19th hole.

    …had to pull his shotgun three times when attacked by wild skeet.

    …sneered and said only Michelle counts strokes and wanted him to break par.

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  3. While playing golf with Tiger Woods, Obama… and the Republicans on the Ides of March, they stopped for a bit of lunch

    Tiger order a Ceasar Salad. The Republicans ordered a dish served cold, and Obama, well, you know what he got!

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  4. …asked Tiger if he thinks Americans will forgive him if he goes to spending addiction rehab

    …said “ok, NOW you’re exempt from paying taxes”

    …played like he was in the Special Olympics or something

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  5. …after a few drinks tried to convince Tiger to sneak onto Rush Limbaugh’s property and leave a burning sack of dog poop on his front porch

    …asked his Secret Service agents to round up some hookers them…since they know where to get the best ones.

    …said “you know, Sharia law is actually not that bad…you get to have as many chicks as you want and if they complain, you have them beheaded

    …ordered his propaganda department to photoshop up a picture of him playing golf

    …said “hey, why don’t we make this game more interesting?”…so they stopped playing.

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  6. …was able to use his wood on the last hole, when the Viagra finally took effect.

    …was obviously perturbed when using Eric Holder instead of a tee his lies actually turned out to be far worse than planned.

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  7. …talked about how he had Biden fitted with a shock collar because, the last time he played Frolf with the Veep, Biden kept running off with the Frisbee, barking, and sniffing Obama’s hind end.

    [HT to #62]

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  8. …..sliced his ball into the woods, and heads off in search of his ball, which he finds behind a large tree. After considering his position , and not wanting to take a drop and lose a stroke , he decides to hook the ball around the tree. He swings, the ball hits the tree, ricochets back at him, and instantly kills him. When he opens his eyes, he sees Satan standing before him. “Am I dead”? ask Obama. “Yes, my son,” replies Satan, who looks the man over and notices his clubs. “I see you’re a golfer,” Satan says. “Are you any good?” Obama replies “Hey, I got here in two, didn’t I?” 🙂

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  9. Pingback: IMAO » Blog Archive » You’ve Been Judged!

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