Straight Line of the Day: While Playing Golf With Tiger Woods, Obama…

Posted on February 19, 2013 12:00 pm

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

While playing golf with Tiger Woods, Obama…

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85 Responses to “Straight Line of the Day: While Playing Golf With Tiger Woods, Obama…”

  1. can of spam says:

    … wrote down eagle on his card for the 12th. Tiger said, “you didn’t make that”!

  2. blarg says:

    …revealed he was there because George Soros said, “We’re done with you. Go back to the golf course and work on your putz”

  3. Jimmy says:

    …scowled when, after deferring to Tiger on the 7th green, Tiger said, “That’s mighty white of you.”

  4. Bunkerhillbilly says:

    ….relieved himself in Tiger’s half-empty bottle of Gatorade when Tiger wasn’t looking.

  5. rodney dill says:

    …employed the use of his new graphite shaft to beat Tiger (the graphics shaft in his pencil that is).

    …used SEAL Team 6 to take out Tiger’s ball on every hole.

  6. Jimmy says:

    …told Tiger he wasn’t using Titleist balls anymore but ones from his new, Stimulus-funded, start-up company called “Entitleist.” He then drove his ball into a swamp.

  7. Bob in Feenicks says:

    …bragged that he spends more time golfing than Tiger does.

  8. Dohtimes says:

    …was able to use his wood on the last hole, when the Viagra finally took effect.

    …was obviously perturbed when using Eric Holder instead of a tee his lies actually turned out to be far worse than planned.

  9. Anonymiss says:

    began to cry. Then explained, “I just can’t believe I get to play golf with my HERO! I wanna be JUST LIKE YOU!”

  10. Oppo says:

    … double-bogarted several times.

  11. Oppo says:

    … got on the phone with GMC, because that green Blazer Tiger talked about sounded like a heck of an idea.

  12. Oppo says:

    … described how long he watched Biden try to put the frisbee in the hole, the last time they played this course.

  13. Oppo says:

    … got on the phone with the border patrol, because he wanted the U.S. Open just as much as Tiger did.

  14. Oppo says:

    … kept giggling Tiger said, “Gambling? Like Bush would?”

  15. Oppo says:

    shanked, hooked, sliced, and received Time Magazine’s Golfer of the Year” award.

  16. Bunkerhillbilly says:

    …talked about how he had Biden fitted with a shock collar because, the last time he played Frolf with the Veep, Biden kept running off with the Frisbee, barking, and sniffing Obama’s hind end.

    [HT to #62]

  17. Jimmy says:

    …had his balls checked for explosives before he hit them.

  18. Jimmy says:

    …was the first President to ever wedge his way out of a pond.

  19. Cliff says:

    …..sliced his ball into the woods, and heads off in search of his ball, which he finds behind a large tree. After considering his position , and not wanting to take a drop and lose a stroke , he decides to hook the ball around the tree. He swings, the ball hits the tree, ricochets back at him, and instantly kills him. When he opens his eyes, he sees Satan standing before him. “Am I dead”? ask Obama. “Yes, my son,” replies Satan, who looks the man over and notices his clubs. “I see you’re a golfer,” Satan says. “Are you any good?” Obama replies “Hey, I got here in two, didn’t I?” :-)

  20. Oppo says:

    … complained, “I need a bigger putt hole.” The punchline to this joke has been extraordinarily renditioned.

  21. rodney dill says:

    …was fortunate that Tiger knew Obama’s butt from a hole in the ground…

  22. Oppo says:

    … avoided the water hazard better than Rubio did.

  23. Oppo says:

    … disliked the Secret Service code name, “Whiney the Pooh and Tiger Too.”

  24. Oppo says:

    …aimed for the flag, like he does back on the ol’ skeet driveway.

  25. Jimmy says:

    …got a hole in one, and then a hole in another… and then the bill for the broken glass.

  26. Jimmy says:

    …said, after a particularly bad shot, “This is like playing pool, when I scratch the hole a lot.”

  27. Oppo says:

    … said “I didn’t know why the Joint Chiefs said I needed to stop vacationing and pay attention to the golf situation right away; but the joke’s on them — this is a vacation, too!”

  28. Oppo says:

    … repeatedly used the “Cinderella story — kid from nowhere” line without catching the irony.

  29. Oppo says:

    @12 Blarg:
    … hunted for the economy’s real killer.

  30. Writer says:

    . . . took Sandra Fluke along so everyone got a “hole in one”.

  31. tanstaafl says:

    won 40-love (as in reggie)

  32. Bob in Feenicks says:

    …cried every time the ball ended up in the pond. -The media reported Obama turned water into whine.

  33. CTCompromise says:

    …didn’t have to worry about the water hazards-convinced that he can walk on water.

  34. tanstaafl says:

    couldn’t outscore tiger on the front holes, but posted a 69 on the back holoes against reggie.

  35. IMAO » Blog Archive » You’ve Been Judged! links:

    […] Keln of Nuking Politics picked his favorite punchlines to “While playing golf with Tiger Woods, Obama…” […]

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