Straight Line of the Day: While Visiting France, Joe Biden…
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
While visiting France, Joe Biden…
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(1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
February 8th, 2013 at 12:04 pm
….surrendered.
February 8th, 2013 at 12:06 pm
…got all confused about truffles being both a French dessert and a fungus.
February 8th, 2013 at 12:08 pm
…praised the 20th century open borders policy they had with germany.
February 8th, 2013 at 12:20 pm
…asked where the best french fries are at.
February 8th, 2013 at 12:28 pm
…kept ordering horse divers and craps for lunch.
February 8th, 2013 at 12:29 pm
…thanked them for the invention of fireworks and asked where that big wall was
February 8th, 2013 at 12:34 pm
Kept telling everyone he’d hold it, cause they kept talking about Oui oui.
February 8th, 2013 at 12:40 pm
…kept asking how they’d moved Notre Dame Cathedral there from South Bend.
February 8th, 2013 at 12:46 pm
…looked forward to visiting Notre Dame because he’d “heard that French women are hot.”
February 8th, 2013 at 12:49 pm
#6 I just choked on my drink laughing
February 8th, 2013 at 12:49 pm
… made an important contribution to our foreign policy. (Ha! Funniest line ever!)
February 8th, 2013 at 12:49 pm
…went to McDonald’s.
February 8th, 2013 at 12:51 pm
… pulled out a map and started looking for Remulak.
February 8th, 2013 at 12:56 pm
…bought a beret and had mustache plugs put in.
February 8th, 2013 at 12:57 pm
…ordered steak tartar medium rare.
February 8th, 2013 at 12:58 pm
…broke down crying when he apologized for the Normandy Invasion.
February 8th, 2013 at 12:59 pm
… learned that “gaffe” is of French origin, so committed a good ol’ American faux pas.
February 8th, 2013 at 1:03 pm
… accepted the award of “Le pouf-célèbre.” [I assume CTCompromise and Rodney Dill will get the Monty Python reference]
February 8th, 2013 at 1:03 pm
…looked around for clean and articulate Frenchmen but couldn’t find any.
February 8th, 2013 at 1:07 pm
… said, “I’ve been to Wisconsin, which makes me an honorary cheesehead, too.”
February 8th, 2013 at 1:08 pm
…was shown the Effiel Tower and asked “When will it be completed?”
February 8th, 2013 at 1:15 pm
… got his speech and his facts all ready for his next stop, the UK’s security council, where he said — this is NOT made up —- “I spent half my life on OUR national security council.”
n fact, Biden has only been on the U.S. National Security Council for four years [-Daniel Halper, The Weekly Standard, "Biden Gaffes His Way Across Europe," Feb 5, 2013]
February 8th, 2013 at 1:16 pm
…asked every French speaking person he met if he had also served in Vietnam.
…got angry when informed that cursing and saying pardon my French did not make him bilingual.
…told Francois Hollande that he had learned that fat, drunk and stupid was the way to go through life for the lower classes, but smelly, arrogant and really really stupid was French model of politics that the leftist elites in America had followed for decades.
February 8th, 2013 at 1:22 pm
Got between a garrison of French soldiers and a white flag factory, and was nearly trampled to death.
February 8th, 2013 at 1:24 pm
“A three letter word: F-R-A-N-C-E. Literally!”
February 8th, 2013 at 1:24 pm
…told President Sarkozy that he’s a big fan of their mustard.
February 8th, 2013 at 1:25 pm
….asked to go to the Louvre museum, because window treatments fascinate him.
February 8th, 2013 at 1:31 pm
…he kept asking everyone… is that your minkey?”
February 8th, 2013 at 1:32 pm
…was surprise that he was doing the French Mistake, Voila!”
February 8th, 2013 at 1:33 pm
@26: Heh-heh.
…. was deeply moved that they named a fixture after him. “But my name ends in an ‘n,’ ” he said, “not a ‘t.’ “
February 8th, 2013 at 1:33 pm
doh. (was surprised)
February 8th, 2013 at 1:37 pm
@23 said:
I don’t think Biden would say something that sophisticated.
February 8th, 2013 at 1:39 pm
kept slouching and saying, “The bells… the bells… the bells….”
February 8th, 2013 at 1:40 pm
…kept referring to Obama as that stupid english pig-dog.
February 8th, 2013 at 1:40 pm
… did a sad real-life Abbott and Costello routine:
“I’m going to meet the president of this country?”
“Hollande.”
“I mean France.”
“Oui, Hollande.”
“Look, all I’m trying to find out is, who is the president of this country?”
“Hollande.”
“No, France.”
…. ad infinitum. He is probably still at it.
February 8th, 2013 at 1:41 pm
…said he want to meet the real modo, not just the quasi kind.
February 8th, 2013 at 1:43 pm
@33 rodney dill:
Well, his policies do smell of elder Barry . . .
February 8th, 2013 at 1:45 pm
…wore a fake hump to the Notre Dame Cathedral, kept having his ‘hump’ move from one side to the other, or disappear altogether.
…at the Notre Dame Cathedral kept asking to see ‘Touchdown Jesus.’
February 8th, 2013 at 1:45 pm
…asked if he could see the guillotine in action
…spoke to his French hosts in German because the two nations had been allies during WW II.
…asked if he could be taken to Celine Dion’s birthplace since he was such a fan of French folk music.
…wanted to see The Joe DiMaggio Line.
…said he was told that The Napoleon Complex was actually a series of very small buildings and Biden, being over five feet tall, was worried about not being able to fit through the doors.
…wanted to lay a wreath at the grave of Jim Morrison because he was interested in honoring a national hero of France.
…wondered if he was going to have to visit that museum honoring French slatted-blinds called ‘The Loov-ree”
…asked his French hosts where he could get “a Royale with cheese”.
February 8th, 2013 at 1:51 pm
Wow, you can hardly walk into a 7-11 without having a slight French accent. What? Sept-Onze? You crazy Frogs!
February 8th, 2013 at 1:53 pm
… Had to write a check for 75% of his income to come in.
… Was informed that his mother was a hamster and his father smelled of elderberries an that he was both an empty headed animal food trough wiper and an electric donkey bottom biter. He then wend and boiled his bottom.
February 8th, 2013 at 1:56 pm
(@38: It’s pronounced “Al-Gore,” not Igor.)
February 8th, 2013 at 1:56 pm
… Had to hide inside a giant wooden rabbit to get in
… Said he had never been to this part of Canada before
February 8th, 2013 at 2:11 pm
…when visiting Notre Dame Cathedral asked where the Four Horsemen were buried, and was it near Noot Rock-knee’s grave.
…wore an 18th century silk brocade outfit, a powdered wig, knee stockings, shoes with big buckles, lots of makeup on his face and kept running around the room saying “Bon-jerr, bon-jerr, monn-sewer, vooley voo kooshay av-ick mwah, mercy bucket!”
February 8th, 2013 at 2:16 pm
@ Bunkerhillbilly: “…asked if he could see the guillotine in action”
… asked for a menage a trois so he could see two guillotines in action….
February 8th, 2013 at 2:34 pm
Asked a waiter to do the ‘french mystique’
February 8th, 2013 at 2:58 pm
…was mistaken for Jerry Lewis.
February 8th, 2013 at 3:04 pm
… Asked why so many Americans were buried there
February 8th, 2013 at 3:06 pm
…learned that le pissour publique was more of a noun than a verb and unlike himself, French policemen know that it’s not raining.
February 8th, 2013 at 3:11 pm
Hey Keln~! I vote for 47-49!!!
February 8th, 2013 at 3:43 pm
was astonished that federal prisoners were allowed to roam the streets as long as they didn’t speak….
February 8th, 2013 at 3:50 pm
Was totally disappointed when he saw his toast.
February 8th, 2013 at 3:51 pm
asked why they didn’t break away from Quebec….
February 8th, 2013 at 4:10 pm
wondered why there so few Palestinians living on the West Bank…..
February 8th, 2013 at 4:12 pm
…was arrested for having three banned substances in his room…. soap, toothpaste, and deodorant.
February 8th, 2013 at 4:22 pm
…. was triple dog dared into putting his tongue on a cold Eiffel Tower.
February 8th, 2013 at 4:34 pm
…when at Notre Dame Cathedral he said he “was a big fan of The Four Horsemen”, wondered how difficult it was to teach centaurs to play football, were the French teaching them to just play soccer these days and would it be possible to get a “rescue centaur” as a gift for Obama’s oldest daughter, Malia.
February 8th, 2013 at 4:58 pm
Wait. I’m confused. I thought Joe Biden was the punch line.
February 8th, 2013 at 5:11 pm
….. was arrested for making a toy white flag
February 8th, 2013 at 6:09 pm
. . . begged to see the statue of John F. Kerry who began his career in the State Department in Paris.
February 8th, 2013 at 6:22 pm
. . . congratulated them for their last Great Military Victory-in the French Revolution.
February 8th, 2013 at 7:57 pm
Asked, “So where’s that place where the ladies wear no pants?”
February 8th, 2013 at 8:09 pm
Ordered Pate at his hotel and was angry when she didn’t show.
February 8th, 2013 at 8:23 pm
…checked-in to a local dementia clinic and was declared brain dead.
February 8th, 2013 at 11:13 pm
… couldn’t figure out why Paris wasn’t just a walk away from the Venetian, Caesar’s Palace, MGM, and Mandalay Bay.
February 8th, 2013 at 11:15 pm
was horrified by French cannibalism and refused to eat frog’s legs in protest
February 8th, 2013 at 11:16 pm
was enranged when he found the statue of liberty shrunken and moved to the Seine
February 9th, 2013 at 12:53 am
…asked if he would get to meet her little dog Tinkerbell when he found out he was staying at the Paris Hilton.
February 9th, 2013 at 2:24 pm
…complained that his escargot was covered with snails and his vichyssoise was cold.
February 12th, 2013 at 8:51 am
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