Straight Line of the Day: While Visiting France, Joe Biden…

Posted on February 8, 2013 12:00 pm

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

While visiting France, Joe Biden…

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70 Responses to “Straight Line of the Day: While Visiting France, Joe Biden…”

  1. CTCompromise says:


  2. Jimmy says:

    …got all confused about truffles being both a French dessert and a fungus.

  3. jw says:

    …praised the 20th century open borders policy they had with germany.

  4. Cliff says:

    …asked where the best french fries are at. :-)

  5. AwesometificAmerican says:

    …kept ordering horse divers and craps for lunch.

  6. a guy named Rob says:

    …thanked them for the invention of fireworks and asked where that big wall was

  7. rodney dill says:

    Kept telling everyone he’d hold it, cause they kept talking about Oui oui.

  8. FredKey says:

    …kept asking how they’d moved Notre Dame Cathedral there from South Bend.

  9. DamnCat says:

    …looked forward to visiting Notre Dame because he’d “heard that French women are hot.”

  10. CarolyntheMommy says:

    #6 I just choked on my drink laughing

  11. Oppo says:

    … made an important contribution to our foreign policy. (Ha! Funniest line ever!)

  12. DamnCat says:

    …went to McDonald’s.

  13. Oppo says:

    … pulled out a map and started looking for Remulak.

  14. Dohtimes says:

    …bought a beret and had mustache plugs put in.

  15. DamnCat says:

    …ordered steak tartar medium rare.

  16. Dohtimes says:

    …broke down crying when he apologized for the Normandy Invasion.

  17. Oppo says:

    … learned that “gaffe” is of French origin, so committed a good ol’ American faux pas.

  18. Oppo says:

    … accepted the award of “Le pouf-célèbre.” [I assume CTCompromise and Rodney Dill will get the Monty Python reference]

  19. Jimmy says:

    …looked around for clean and articulate Frenchmen but couldn’t find any.

  20. Oppo says:

    … said, “I’ve been to Wisconsin, which makes me an honorary cheesehead, too.”

  21. DamnCat says:

    …was shown the Effiel Tower and asked “When will it be completed?”

  22. Oppo says:

    … got his speech and his facts all ready for his next stop, the UK’s security council, where he said — this is NOT made up —- “I spent half my life on OUR national security council.”

    n fact, Biden has only been on the U.S. National Security Council for four years [-Daniel Halper, The Weekly Standard, “Biden Gaffes His Way Across Europe,” Feb 5, 2013]

  23. Dohtimes says:

    …asked every French speaking person he met if he had also served in Vietnam.

    …got angry when informed that cursing and saying pardon my French did not make him bilingual.

    …told Francois Hollande that he had learned that fat, drunk and stupid was the way to go through life for the lower classes, but smelly, arrogant and really really stupid was French model of politics that the leftist elites in America had followed for decades.

  24. Thor says:

    Got between a garrison of French soldiers and a white flag factory, and was nearly trampled to death.

  25. piner06 says:

    “A three letter word: F-R-A-N-C-E. Literally!”

  26. CTCompromise says:

    …told President Sarkozy that he’s a big fan of their mustard.

  27. CTCompromise says:

    ….asked to go to the Louvre museum, because window treatments fascinate him.

  28. rodney dill says:

    …he kept asking everyone… is that your minkey?”

  29. rodney dill says:

    …was surprise that he was doing the French Mistake, Voila!”

  30. Oppo says:

    @26: Heh-heh.

    …. was deeply moved that they named a fixture after him. “But my name ends in an ‘n,’ ” he said, “not a ‘t.’ “

  31. rodney dill says:

    doh. (was surprised)

  32. Jimmy says:

    @23 said:

    …told Francois Hollande that he had learned that fat, drunk and stupid was the way to go through life for the lower classes, but smelly, arrogant and really really stupid was [the] French model of politics that the leftist elites in America had followed for decades.

    I don’t think Biden would say something that sophisticated.

  33. rodney dill says:

    kept slouching and saying, “The bells… the bells… the bells….”

  34. rodney dill says:

    …kept referring to Obama as that stupid english pig-dog.

  35. Oppo says:

    … did a sad real-life Abbott and Costello routine:

    “I’m going to meet the president of this country?”
    “I mean France.”
    “Oui, Hollande.”
    “Look, all I’m trying to find out is, who is the president of this country?”
    “No, France.”
    …. ad infinitum. He is probably still at it.

  36. rodney dill says:

    …said he want to meet the real modo, not just the quasi kind.

  37. Oppo says:

    @33 rodney dill:
    Well, his policies do smell of elder Barry . . .

  38. rodney dill says:

    …wore a fake hump to the Notre Dame Cathedral, kept having his ‘hump’ move from one side to the other, or disappear altogether.

    …at the Notre Dame Cathedral kept asking to see ‘Touchdown Jesus.’

  39. Bunkerhillbilly says:

    …asked if he could see the guillotine in action

    …spoke to his French hosts in German because the two nations had been allies during WW II.

    …asked if he could be taken to Celine Dion’s birthplace since he was such a fan of French folk music.

    …wanted to see The Joe DiMaggio Line.

    …said he was told that The Napoleon Complex was actually a series of very small buildings and Biden, being over five feet tall, was worried about not being able to fit through the doors.

    …wanted to lay a wreath at the grave of Jim Morrison because he was interested in honoring a national hero of France.

    …wondered if he was going to have to visit that museum honoring French slatted-blinds called ‘The Loov-ree”

    …asked his French hosts where he could get “a Royale with cheese”.

  40. Drew says:

    Wow, you can hardly walk into a 7-11 without having a slight French accent. What? Sept-Onze? You crazy Frogs!

  41. blarg says:

    … Had to write a check for 75% of his income to come in.

    … Was informed that his mother was a hamster and his father smelled of elderberries an that he was both an empty headed animal food trough wiper and an electric donkey bottom biter. He then wend and boiled his bottom.

  42. Oppo says:

    (@38: It’s pronounced “Al-Gore,” not Igor.)

  43. blarg says:

    … Had to hide inside a giant wooden rabbit to get in

    … Said he had never been to this part of Canada before

  44. Bunkerhillbilly says:

    …when visiting Notre Dame Cathedral asked where the Four Horsemen were buried, and was it near Noot Rock-knee’s grave.

    …wore an 18th century silk brocade outfit, a powdered wig, knee stockings, shoes with big buckles, lots of makeup on his face and kept running around the room saying “Bon-jerr, bon-jerr, monn-sewer, vooley voo kooshay av-ick mwah, mercy bucket!”

  45. Oppo says:

    @ Bunkerhillbilly: “…asked if he could see the guillotine in action”

    … asked for a menage a trois so he could see two guillotines in action….

  46. Rayfan87 says:

    Asked a waiter to do the ‘french mystique’

  47. Mike Yocum says:

    …was mistaken for Jerry Lewis.

  48. blarg says:

    … Asked why so many Americans were buried there

  49. Dohtimes says:

    …learned that le pissour publique was more of a noun than a verb and unlike himself, French policemen know that it’s not raining.

  50. Oppo says:

    Hey Keln~! I vote for 47-49!!!

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