* There is no reason to deny female spastics their right of gun ownership, as long as it’s shotguns, and if they might be raped.

* Firing a long gun with one arm is not recommended, unless you’re Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Shooting someone at point-blank range does not leave them with smoke coming off their head, a sooty frowning face, and ragged clothes. Don’t ask how he knows this.

Never assault or pepper a prepper;
You may get peppered right back.
They’re never in season,
Won’t listen to reason,
And, like spices, some have been in Iraq.

Actually, I do that all the time with my flintlock when cleaning it. You have to do that to see if you’ve got all the fouling off of the breech face.

Of course, the real way to know if a muzzleloader is loaded is to add the number of times you’ve loaded it and the number of times you’ve fired it, then divide the sum by 2. If the result isn’t even, the gun is loaded.

if you just CONSENT to whatever the attacker wants from you, then you will have prevented the crime from ever happening! Remember every time you shoot a criminal, you’re probably eliminating a Democrat vote…although dead voters DO almost unanimously vote Democrate as well, but why take the chance? By consenting to whatever the attacker wants, you’re not only preventing a crime, but preserving a vote.

* Carrying loaded magazines in your pocket is a bad idea. You might get shot there and cause a chain reaction, severing your leg at the hip. Plus, it’ll hurt.

* If the butt stock of your gun isn’t long enough to reach your shoulder, get a bigger butt – or try a longer stock.

* Don’t hold your gun close to your nose. It might cut blow off your nose despite your face.

*When not sleeping in a tent keep firing your shotgon continuously into the air just to be safe.