The Hagel Hearing Was AWESOME!

Posted on February 1, 2013 11:00 am

Man, I am sorry I missed seeing any of the Hagel hearings yesterday. They sounded pretty awesome. As someone who has always hated Hagel, it’s so great that Obama nominated him so we’d have this chance to expose him as an ignorant, anti-Semitic dimwit to a national audience. Here I thought Hagel had retired peacefully, but now Obama has pulled him into the spotlight to finally get the derision he’s always deserved. Thank you, Obama.

I mean, why in the world did he nominate this moron? Does he think the Secretary of Defense is an entry-level position? Then again, I guess the presidency basically was for Obama. Well, if Hagel doesn’t work out, I’ll offer myself for Secretary of Defense since I’m at least as qualified and many more times coherent. But to take the job, I get to be called “Secretary of War” instead and get to declare war on one natural satellite no questions asked.

Wait, how much does Secretary of Defense pay? We’re talking at least $25 an hour, right?

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9 Responses to “The Hagel Hearing Was AWESOME!”

  1. Son of Bob says:

    Soros sure has done a great job finding the most incompetent people to fill every position of our government in order to fulfill his dreams of the take-down of America and the implementation of his world government. And yet, people are still surprised.

    Meanwhile, Boehner? Boehner? Boehner? Anyone seen Boehner?

  2. Dusty says:

    He is a Liberal, of course he’s a freaking MORON…

  3. Jimmy says:

    Boehner was last seen crying into a beer.

  4. zzyzx says:

    After watching the Hagel hearing…I’m crying into my beer too! This is the guy who’s going to be responsible for the defense of the nation? If I were an enemy of this country I’d still be partying and celebrating after watching the performance of this moron.

  5. Rockin' John says:

    “Wait, how much does Secretary of Defense pay? We’re talking at least $25 an hour, right?”
    The only way it pays less than $25 is if you work 24x7x365. In that case, you are looking about $20/hour. You didn’t want to get paid for sleeping, did you?

  6. CTCompromise says:

    @3. Jimmy:
    Boehner isn’t man enough for a beer…He’s crying into his apple-tini.

  7. CTCompromise says:

    Hagel may be ignorant. He may be a moron. He may be a dimwit. That doesn’t mean he can’t do the job Obama expects from his Secretary of Defense. How bright does one have to be to bow to foreign leaders, apologize for America’s aggression in the past, and promise that we will not interfere with what goes on in their country because it is none of our business?

  8. Oppo says:

    Poor ol’ Obama
    His face all covered with egg:
    He certainly is no Reagan
    And Hagel is no Haig.

    Haig’s “I’m in charge here”
    The media mocked with glee;
    But now they’re silent when Hagel says
    “I won’t be in charge. Not me!”

  9. Oppo says:


    “Nothing great in the world has ever been accomplished without passion.”
    – philosopher Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel

    “I uh, . . . ah . . . um . . disagree with what I’ve said in the past.”
    – nominee Chuck Hagel

    “Genuine tragedies in the world are not conflicts between right and wrong. They are conflicts between two rights.”
    – philosopher Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel

    ” . . . um . . . ”
    – nominee Chuck Hagel

    “Governments have never learned anything from history, or acted on principles deducted from it.”
    – philosopher Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel

    “I have never learned anything from history or acted on principles.”
    – nominee Chuck Hagel

    “World history is a court of judgment.”
    – philosopher Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel

    “Yes!! That was what I was saying!! I’ll let history judge whether the surge in Iraq was effective or not. As a senator or a potential Secretary of Defense, that is not my job. Man, I’m like another Nietzsche or something!”
    – nominee Chuck Hagel

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