The State of the Union Last Night

Posted on February 13, 2013 11:00 am

So we had the State of the Union address last night. And Obama was all like, “You know that stuff I promised to do those last four years and never did? Well, I’m totally going to do it now!” And then he was like, “We don’t have a spending problem. We have a not spending enough problem! And I’m going to claim it won’t add to the deficit because I have as much disdain for math as I do for guns.” And then he ended with, “And we need more background checks. Because that’s why there’s so much violence in Chicago and why people crazy people can steal guns from his mom: Not enough background checks! I am a serious person.”

Then afterwards, Marco Rubio gave the Republican response and was like, “What an idiot! Look at the last four years; this guy doesn’t know what he’s doing. Don’t listen to him. And furthermore… Ooh! I’m thirsty!” And then Rubio drank water and everyone was like, “Dude! He’s drinking water! This is insane!”

Finally, Rand Paul gave the Tea Party response. It was about freedom or something.

I didn’t watch any of the speeches.

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13 Responses to “The State of the Union Last Night”

  1. Jimmy says:

    I accidently caught 3.2 seconds of Obama’s speech and because it was so polluting, I was forced to drink 3.2 ales to wash it out. Actually, the 0.2 got rounded up which is what we call a “gentile sufficiency.”

  2. Carpenter says:

    The only thing I got from what little I heard (I couldn’t watch so I closed my eyes) was Election Fraud, Treason and Conspiracy to commit Communism. After about 10 seconds had to shut it off.

    Did Marco Rubio show that Obama is a Communist? Did he point out that Obama was raised by Communists? And did he try to explain that Obama’s Marxism is just Communism? If not then he is no better than John McCain.

    Alan Keyes rightly calls Obama a radical communist
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3DlTgrMCxPg

    Everything that Alan Keyes said on on February 19, 2009 has come true.

  3. storm1911 says:

    Obama is bancrupting the nation, overturning the constitution, enabling the terrorists… OOOHH LOOK ! …. Rubio is DRINKING WATER….IIIEEEEE !!!!!

  4. FormerHostage says:

    FrankJ,
    This may be slightly off topic but since you have the ear (or is it short hairs?) of of many leading bloggers perhaps you all could get together to pitch this idea for a conservative PAC or the RNC to run with…

    Since February is Black History Month (or is that now History of Color Month?) PSAs should be created to honor the event and pushed to major networks and cable.

    Have different conservative blacks speak about:
    * Republican efforts before and during the Civil War
    * How the Civil Rights Act was passed only by the efforts of Republicans over Democrats
    * How Gun Laws were originally passed by Southern Democrats to restrict the freedom of blacks and leave them open to intimidation.
    * How the first black Secretary of State was appointed by a Republican president.
    * How the first female black Secretary of State was appointed by a Republican president.
    * How freedom loving blacks triumphed over the tactics of hate used by Democrats like Bull Connor and George Wallace.

  5. Ernie Loco says:

    Having also not watched any of the speeches, I’m just going to assume Frank’s summary is completely accurate. In that case, I like Rand Paul’s speech the best because I like freedom and hate communists.

    I remember when I was a kid and the SoTU was on every channel for a couple hours. Now I have cable and that worthless speech was only on like 10 out of a couple hundred channels, so I could watch basketball in peace.

  6. Son of Bob says:

    When you grow up in Kenya or Indonesia, you don’t care about math. You can’t eat math.

  7. Basil says:

    I didn’t watch any of the speeches.

    Frank, my respect for you just tripled.

  8. Writer says:

    It all boiled down to all of the campaign promises made in 2008 (except budgeting and no new taxes), and made again in 2012, now intends to keep-except he will raise taxes and increase the National Debt without using a budget.

  9. CTCompromise says:

    I didn’t watch any of the SOTU “address’ (i.e. campaign speech for a job he already has).
    Do you want to know why?
    Because I have a job; which I was at.
    Do you want to know why I have a job; which I was at?
    Because I didn’t vote for the SOB who was giving the speech about the SOTU.

  10. Steve says:

    And Rev Al of all people is making fun of Rubio tonight….

  11. seanmahair says:

    The state of the union is strong………..ly similar to the state of my wallet. No money, no credit cards and no hope for things to get any better under Obama the Mediocre. I wonder if he could have found more inept, more incompetent, more ignorantly stupid people to put in his cabinet. Hope someone loses the key and they all disappear for 4 years.

  12. Bunkerhillbilly says:

    But…but…but…Marco Rubio DRANK WATER ON CAMERA IN THE MIDDLE OF HIS REBUTTAL

    That act alone will probably disqualify him from running for president against whatever anointed successor is approved, anointed, and ascended via copious media assistance to the vacated throne of Caesar Obaminimus Primus.

    The proles and peasantry never see Obama or Lady One drinking water on camera. (OE 800 or Night Train, sipped from Snoop Dawg’s Pimp Chalice? No prob, man, dey kewl wid dat!)

    It’s like trying to shake hands with an Arab using your left hand…just not done.

    Given the hue and cry about it, clearly the limited knowledge voter thought Rubio was trying to channel his inner G.G. Allin when he took that on-camera sip.

    Expect leading Lib Lights like Ben Affleck and Bill Maher to openly mock water sipping. Clooney will rail on about Bush denying water to Darfur.

    Chris Rock will say something along the lines of “not only is Obama our daddy, he’s half m^t#3r-f^{#!ng camel too!”

    Insinuations will be made as to how Dick Cheney has long-standing ties to “big aqua”.

    Sting will organize a Rock Against Water Hoarding concert featuring Bieber, Miley Cyrus, The Foo Fighters, Beyonce, System Of A Down, and an all-star jam with Sir Paul McCartney.

  13. Oppo says:

    Rubio might not be the right guy to carry the Republican establishment’s water. He’ll keep sipping it.

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