What Suggestions Came Out of Obama’s Jobs Council

Posted on February 1, 2013 1:00 pm

Obama is shutting down his jobs council. Mission accomplished, baby. He started his term with a an awesome 7.8% unemployment rate, and after a lot of hard work, trillions in stimulus, and convincing lots of people to give up ever looking for employment, he’s gotten the rate back to 7.8% (well, 7.9% now, but really close). So what’s left for him to do? Go play some golf, I guess. Or skeet shoot; Obama loves him some skeet shooting with the bang bang sticks.

I wonder what were some of the suggestions that came out of that jobs council?

SUGGESTIONS FROM OBAMA’S JOBS COUNCIL

* “Higher taxes are sure to motivate businesses.”

* “Try being more patronizing to business owners; remember you’ve written multiple memoirs so you know way more about everything.”

* “Number one complaint of businesses: Health care and gasoline is too cheap.”

* “We need someone to fetch us coffee. That would be a job.”

* “Jobs are boring and stupid! Can’t everyone not work and just live on foodstamps?”

* “Businesses are just so concerned about ‘profit.’ I don’t even know why we want to help such awful things.

* “I thought the name of the council meant we’d be working for Steve Jobs. What?! He’s dead!”

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15 Responses to “What Suggestions Came Out of Obama’s Jobs Council”

  1. FormerHostage says:

    “We need someone to fetch us coffee. That would be a job for a woman“.

    FIFY

  2. FormerHostage says:

    Teach Joey how to count letters in words.

  3. FormerHostage says:

    “Hey. We GOT jobs. What’s the problem?”

  4. FredKey says:

    He met with the jobs council once–Once!–a year ago and totally ignored their recommendations. And why does he need it now? It did its job–provided him cover while he went along destroying the economy.

    When he said it would be a transparent administration, I guess he meant transparently phony.

  5. Apostic says:

    “Jobs? We’d like some more *jobs*. KnowwhatImean? wink-wink-nudge-nudge”

  6. Apostic says:

    Quick link: Working papers left by the Jobs Council.

  7. Son of Bob says:

    Positioning entire industries as being “evil” and “trying to kill you” will certainly help business, and the entire economy.

  8. Carpenter says:

    What can we say except that Neo-Stalinism works.

    Obama is the George Washington of the New Generation. He cannot tell a lie. George Bush chopped down that Cherry Tree.

  9. CTCompromise says:

    Obama’s Jobs Council accomplished it’s goal. It was Obama’s phoney-baloney was of making it look like he was concerned about our jobs – so that he cou;d keep his.

  10. Writer says:

    The next level is managing to take over all remaining industries so that he can repay the remaining big donors with positions as Czars.

  11. Jimmy says:

    8.5 million people took the Obama message to heart and left the workforce. Terrific.

  12. Oppo says:

    “Take out the papers and the trash
    Or you don’t get no spendin’ cash
    If you don’t scrub that kitchen floor
    You ain’t gonna rock and roll no more
    Yakety yak
    (Don’t talk back)”

    (…. well, all the members of the Jobs Council did grow up in the fifties. Or so I imagine.)

  13. Oppo says:

    “Like FDR, let’s institute a new WPA, but way more economical: no works, no progress, just administration.”

  14. Oppo says:

    “Remember, this was all about jobs created or saved. Well, no work was created. A lot of work was saved.”

  15. Ernie G says:

    We need to understand what President Obana means when he uses the word job. There are two kinds of jobs: good jobs and bad jobs. Good jobs have one or more of the following characteristics:

    1. Union, closed shop, with mandatory dues collection,
    2. Public Service, esp. regulatory or bureaucratic,
    3. Green,
    4. Federally funded or guaranteed,
    5. Prevailing Wage (Think Davis-Bacon),
    6. Privately funded only if properly connected:
    a.Crony,
    b.Bundler,
    c.Contributor,
    d.Chicago Machine,
    e.Relative of Dem.legislative leadership,
    f.Favored minority.

    Bad jobs have the following characteristics:

    1. Non Union,
    2. Red State, especially Texas or North Dakota,
    3. Energy related, but not Green,
    4. Privately funded,
    5. Not diverse,
    6, Profit driven,
    7. Not paying Prevailing Wage.

    And the very worst, (Really, really bad jobs):

    8. A job that makes a rich capitalist richer. (You know, at some point you have enough money.)

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