Remember when Jesus cursed the fig tree? I wish I could do that when a breakfast bar runs out of bacon.
— sammy rhodes (@prodigalsam) February 5, 2013
Current relationship status: not bothering to delete Internet history.
— Sixth Form Poet (@sixthformpoet) February 5, 2013
I’ll know I’ve finally made it when I’m no longer the only one posting naked photos of me on the internet.
— Shari VanderWerf (@shariv67) February 5, 2013
Rice pilaf is stupid and pointless.
— Charlÿ (@chuck_dizzle) February 5, 2013
Is it okay to waterboard somebody who’s on fire from a drone strike? #AsktheDOJ
— David Burge (@iowahawkblog) February 5, 2013