My daughter learned to whistle if anyone needs a new daughter.
— sammy rhodes (@prodigalsam) February 8, 2013
John Kerry has some big pantsuits to fill.
— David Burge (@iowahawkblog) February 8, 2013
Dear people who question why girls go to the bathroom together, Hermione went alone and got attacked by a troll.
— anti joke apple (@antijokeapple) February 8, 2013
No pope has resigned since 1415, which is also the last time the Pittsburgh Pirates had a winning record.
— Nate Silver (@fivethirtyeight) February 11, 2013