Comments on: 11 Things to Look Out for in the Sequester

By: Jimmy

Jimmy — Fri, 01 Mar 2013 21:56:42 +0000

I think you’re right, CarolyntheMommy, especially if you consider our “perpetual debt machine” as never ending. It just keeps going “ka-ching ka-ching” in the wrong direction (negative $ axis).

By: CarolyntheMommy

CarolyntheMommy — Fri, 01 Mar 2013 21:48:58 +0000

Even worse, Jimmy: there WILL be such a thing as a perpetual motion machine (besides Biden’s mouth, that is)

By: Jimmy

Jimmy — Fri, 01 Mar 2013 21:16:04 +0000

Or a damn double negative, depending on your position regarding the glass’ contents.

By: Jimmy

Jimmy — Fri, 01 Mar 2013 21:15:16 +0000

The negative of a negative is not a positive. It’s just double damn negative.

By: Jimmy

Jimmy — Fri, 01 Mar 2013 21:13:53 +0000

There may be be fewer tautologies, unless there aren’t.

By: Apostic

Apostic — Fri, 01 Mar 2013 21:13:49 +0000

2 Percent Milk will be referred to as (0.02)^2 Milk

By: gary

gary — Fri, 01 Mar 2013 21:10:46 +0000

If I fire a shot gun blast through my front door my landlord is going to be really pissed. Plus I have to pay for it then look for somewhere to stay. Uh and I can’t. Use the landlord for a reference.

By: Apostic

Apostic — Fri, 01 Mar 2013 21:09:29 +0000

Negatives will be 1/50th easier to prove.

By: Dohtimes

Dohtimes — Fri, 01 Mar 2013 21:06:11 +0000

*Objects in mirror will actually be smaller.

*Universe shrinks, Michelles butt expands.

By: Oppo

Oppo — Fri, 01 Mar 2013 20:57:41 +0000

Income taxes will be 2.5 percent less enjoyable to pay.

By: Oppo

Oppo — Fri, 01 Mar 2013 20:57:04 +0000

2.5 percent of the happy attitude will go out of the Department of Motor Vehicles.

By: Oppo

Oppo — Fri, 01 Mar 2013 20:56:03 +0000

No more sequest Santa.

By: Jimmy

Jimmy — Fri, 01 Mar 2013 20:08:36 +0000

Why? Frank crushed his box.

By: FredKey

FredKey — Fri, 01 Mar 2013 20:03:18 +0000

Schrödinger’s cat? Dead.

By: Jimmy

Jimmy — Fri, 01 Mar 2013 19:56:07 +0000

Sacrilege, CarolyntheMommy! Thou shalt not question St. Heisenberg!

By: CarolyntheMommy

CarolyntheMommy — Fri, 01 Mar 2013 19:53:50 +0000

2 objects WILL occupy the same space at the same time!

By: Jimmy

Jimmy — Fri, 01 Mar 2013 19:46:45 +0000

The White House will serve 2% fewer contaminated vegetables from Michelle’s pee patch.

By: Dohtimes

Dohtimes — Fri, 01 Mar 2013 19:43:17 +0000

*All statistics reduced by 2%, white guys now closer to average length and more braggadocious.

By: Dohtimes

Dohtimes — Fri, 01 Mar 2013 19:35:56 +0000

*Wheelbarrows full of subsidy money for wheelbarrow makers will have to be delivered by hand.

By: CarolyntheMommy

CarolyntheMommy — Fri, 01 Mar 2013 19:23:57 +0000

Dogs and cats living together!

By: Critter

Critter — Fri, 01 Mar 2013 19:05:11 +0000

Ghost busting becomes a growth industry.

By: Jimmy

Jimmy — Fri, 01 Mar 2013 18:46:17 +0000

@FormerHostage: Either that or you’re being set-up to be castrated (as was pointed out yesterday).

By: Apostic

Apostic — Fri, 01 Mar 2013 18:41:44 +0000

Is it just me? Or does “sequestration” sound like a euphemism for a loose bowel movement?

I thought it had something to do with sticking a bunch of shiny dots on clothing. (Distracted... shiny....)

By: FormerHostage

FormerHostage — Fri, 01 Mar 2013 18:33:58 +0000

@Storm1911 #19
Maybe instead of “Assault Magazines” we should start calling them “Adult Magazines” so that anyone who tries to ban them will be villified as a prude!

Is it just me? Or does “sequestration” sound like a euphemism for a loose bowel movement?

By: Veeshir

Veeshir — Fri, 01 Mar 2013 18:33:05 +0000

I keep seeing everybody make fun of Maxine Waters for saying we’ll lose more jobs than there are workers in America, those people just look ignorant.

You realize we’re going to lose all those jobs Obama Saved or Created?

And what about jobs in movies, tv and video games?

Heck, I bet Mario loses his plumbing job!

So we’re not just losing real jobs, we’re losing imaginary ones!