So it looks like Jeb Bush is making news, possibly towards starting a 2016 campaign. This is very scary for me. I don’t know if I could survive another moderate, establishment candidate for president. I still have flashbacks about McCain and Romney and propping up these compromise candidates I never really liked in the first place. I don’t think I have it in me to do it again. I think I’d have to leave the Republican Party. Maybe leave politics all together. Maybe society. I’d just wander the earth, righting wrongs in any small village I’d encounter.
People, we need to find a conservative we can get behind before the Republican Party fades into obscurity led by forgettable moderates. I mean, there has to be one likable conservative candidate we can find. Yes, I know all the good conservatives aren’t in politics — that’s what makes them good conservatives. But hopefully we can find someone.
Again, though, I offer myself. A small handful of people say I’m likable. I’m probably not the best person for the job, as I kind of want it — something that is always a red flag. But if the only other alternative is Jeb, you kind of have to get behind me. We can’t do this again; none of us will last with this many moderate presidential candidate in a row. Each one wither’s your soul just a bit, and too many and you become a soulless partisan. That’s not going to happen to me, man.
Frank J. 2016: Save your soul.