Straight Line of the Day: If Obama Were a Comic Book Supervillain, He’d Be…
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
If Obama were a comic book supervillain, he’d be…
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(2 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
March 11th, 2013 at 12:02 pm
Obamhotep the Mummy… his minions would follow him mindless chanting… Obam to tep… Obam ho tep… Obam ho tep (sorta like they do now)
March 11th, 2013 at 12:03 pm
The Obumbler… with his sidekick, MalarkyMan (Joe Biden)
March 11th, 2013 at 12:04 pm
Oquaman… evil, and slightly less relevant than Aquaman.
March 11th, 2013 at 12:05 pm
BO-man
Bowman
March 11th, 2013 at 12:06 pm
Superfluous
March 11th, 2013 at 12:07 pm
The Bus Driver: “Under the bus with you! You’ve inconvenienced me for the LAST TIME!”
March 11th, 2013 at 12:08 pm
Buck Passer, Dodger of all Responsibility
March 11th, 2013 at 12:08 pm
…dropped by the writers after a couple of appearances because he’s too unrealistic — even for a comic book.
March 11th, 2013 at 12:08 pm
…Waffleman.
Straightforward, horrendous, easily identifiable. Eats whole waffles with a single bite. Run!
(As a minimally-cultured commenter, I know practically zip about supervillains.)
March 11th, 2013 at 12:11 pm
The Flyin’ Hawaiian, invading golf courses around the world.
March 11th, 2013 at 12:13 pm
…a shmoo.
Dating myself – shmoos were occasional critters in Lil Abner – they would do anything to please people, including jumping into a frying pan and tasting like whatever you wished for. They gave themselves away like Obama gives our money and services our money buys away. Shmoos (shmoon) were portrayed as evil due to how they affected people. This country needs Li’l Abner, again.
March 11th, 2013 at 12:15 pm
@ tomg51 says:
March 11th, 2013 at 12:13 pm
The country’s in the very best of hands.
March 11th, 2013 at 12:20 pm
“The Dufer!” Doin’ crime until tee time.
“Dr. Obsequious” It ain’t a crime if I think I deserve it.
“The Corpse Man” Killing the economy was only the beginning!
…as two-dimensional as he now is a president!
March 11th, 2013 at 12:21 pm
The Taxinator
March 11th, 2013 at 12:21 pm
……Incompetent Man and his sidekick Gaff Boy
……Irrelevant Man and his sidekick Blunder Boy
and finally
Darth Malpractice and her lacky Half and Half Guy
March 11th, 2013 at 12:22 pm
@Arkady #7…. or that could be Buck Dodgers in 24th and 1/2 trillion deficit
March 11th, 2013 at 12:23 pm
The Killer Drone.
March 11th, 2013 at 12:25 pm
…Articulateman. He’s clean but in your heart, you know he’s E.V.I.L.
…The Bamboozler. He drinks the brains of women and children!
…The Hoodwinker. Get out! GET OUT! GET OUT OF THERE!
March 11th, 2013 at 12:26 pm
… evil Aquaman
… Karl Marx
… Killface from Frisky Dingo
… trick question – “supervillain” implies a level of ambition and competence Obama could never achieve.
.. the Taxman
March 11th, 2013 at 12:28 pm
Given his campaign style, his sequester performance, and his general build: The Scarecrow!
March 11th, 2013 at 12:30 pm
MomJeans, Destroyer of the American Way
“I will not stop until every patriotic American is dead – OF SHAME! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”
March 11th, 2013 at 12:41 pm
… exactly who he is now.
March 11th, 2013 at 12:55 pm
The Waffler: hard to pin down; takes no firm position; constantly changing; almost impossible to explain, even by MSNBC!
March 11th, 2013 at 12:55 pm
The Death Paneler – after all, having affordable healthcare coverage is just the slowest way to die.
March 11th, 2013 at 12:57 pm
….pursued relentlessly by TeaPartier
March 11th, 2013 at 1:01 pm
The Jester (complete with half black/half white costume) and his sidekicks The Yeti and Jumpin’ Joe.
March 11th, 2013 at 1:02 pm
Froward man
(Yes, I meant froward)
March 11th, 2013 at 1:24 pm
Stimulous- flying about, hither and yon, stimulating randomly and to no real effect.
March 11th, 2013 at 1:29 pm
…The SlumLord, able to ghettoize a building in a single tax hike.
…Zero Amendments Man, “That’s right puny citizen, you have no rights but you better remain silent if you know what’s good for you”.
March 11th, 2013 at 1:34 pm
…Anatomically Correct Man, when he shows up, you’re screwed.
…Political Correctness Man, make a Poptart into a gun shape, face the full force of justice gone insane, unless you are disabled with dyslexia and call it a nug.
March 11th, 2013 at 1:35 pm
Gay Man! He has the power to perform gay marriages. But only in gun free zones.
March 11th, 2013 at 1:35 pm
…captured and sequestered Anybody in the first comic.
March 11th, 2013 at 1:38 pm
Straight Line of the Day: If Obama Were a Comic Book Supervillain, He’d Be… just as useless as he is now. And just because Community Organizing doesn’t qualify as a super-power, it ALSO doesn’t count as a Super-Villain ability.
March 11th, 2013 at 1:42 pm
Captain Choom and the Choomobile
March 11th, 2013 at 1:45 pm
…..she’d be DarkWookie
March 11th, 2013 at 1:54 pm
He’d be… ..The MOLE!
but instead of being a Super-Villain he is a Super-Hero Marxist Mole of the Communist Media, the Communists in Hollywood, the Communists in Europe and the Communists in the Democrat Party.
March 11th, 2013 at 2:16 pm
The Pink Enervator! (Sucks life energy from every economy he can contact) (also a bad D&D monster)
March 11th, 2013 at 2:28 pm
@17: More on your theme:
…HELLFIRE Man and his Psycho-Bitch From HELL.
March 11th, 2013 at 2:28 pm
…embracing his true nature.
March 11th, 2013 at 2:28 pm
Gozer
March 11th, 2013 at 2:29 pm
…the archenemy of Captain America.
March 11th, 2013 at 2:35 pm
…a hero and you would be a racist for making him a villain.
…no different than he is now.
March 11th, 2013 at 2:36 pm
President.
March 11th, 2013 at 2:39 pm
the staple in spine of the comic book, with the one tab bent the wrong way, and the other poking out, so it doesn’t hold the pages in place, and pokes you in the finger when you try to read it.
March 11th, 2013 at 2:47 pm
…Able to do all his shopping in the feminine hygiene aisle because he is really just a ….. Man. (Written by Self-censoring Dude)
…Walk Softly And Carry A Big Teleprompter Guy.
…HalitosisMan, who with his sidekick Joe Steppin’ In Poo are out to raise a stink.
March 11th, 2013 at 2:49 pm
Worst supervillain I ever heard of was a Batman baddie called “The Ten-Eyed Man”. He had eyes on the ends of his fingers.
Think in terms of how you would wipe after a dump.
March 11th, 2013 at 2:55 pm
…really, really, REALLY bad at it.
March 11th, 2013 at 2:57 pm
Mom Jeans Man, able to leap a stalk of arugula in a single mince and skip.
March 11th, 2013 at 2:58 pm
Throws Like a Girl Man, able to 3 bounce a pitch from less than 90 feet from home plate.
March 11th, 2013 at 3:00 pm
You Didn’t Build That Man, able to denigrate hard working entrepreneurs across the country with a single slander, and get away with it with the help of his sidekick, Lame Stream Media boy.
March 11th, 2013 at 3:03 pm
Sequestration Man, able to shoot a stream of BS from his mouth at any moment.
March 11th, 2013 at 3:04 pm
TelePrompter Man – who, sadly, could be rendered completely powerless by a simple power outage
March 11th, 2013 at 3:06 pm
Um-Er-Ah-Um Man, who is the alter ego of TelePrompter Man during said power outage.
March 11th, 2013 at 3:10 pm
Slow clap for #25
tomg51 says:….pursued relentlessly by TeaPartier
And a standing ovation for #27
rodney dill says: Froward man
(Yes, I meant froward)
March 11th, 2013 at 3:43 pm
Northstar.
March 11th, 2013 at 3:44 pm
subdued by his archnemesis — BindersFullOfWomen Man
March 11th, 2013 at 3:45 pm
The Choomerang
March 11th, 2013 at 4:09 pm
…the ambiguously guyish man of steal, the Loophole Nukin’ Nazi.
…Guy Who Looks Like A TIE Fighter Wearing Golf Shoes Man, who with his sidekick Reggie LoveBugger keep other golfers from teeing off on time!!!!!!
March 11th, 2013 at 4:11 pm
Bizarro Reagan.
March 11th, 2013 at 4:55 pm
It wouldn’t end with “Man”, I’ll tell you that.
March 11th, 2013 at 5:08 pm
False Hood – he robs from the rich and lies to the poor
March 11th, 2013 at 5:09 pm
Harvey, this is just too hypothetical.
March 11th, 2013 at 5:09 pm
…a WIMP.
March 11th, 2013 at 5:28 pm
well if they have to be actual superheroes….
Mister Barackzptlk (he’s wreaking havoc and nobody seems to be able to figure out how to make him go away)
Hypno-Hustler (no explanation required)
Kiteman (cause after smoking choom he’s high as a …..)
Condiment King (cause dogs…obviously)
King Zarkon from Voltron (always blaming his failures on others)
That effeminete guy from Team Rocket
The Hamburgler
March 11th, 2013 at 5:33 pm
Paper Cut.
March 11th, 2013 at 5:34 pm
The Redistributor
March 11th, 2013 at 5:46 pm
Card Shark – with an entire deck of nothing but race cards.
The Ditherer
March 11th, 2013 at 5:47 pm
The Sequestrator
The Fundamental Transformer
Choomer-Doomer
The Skeeter
March 11th, 2013 at 6:07 pm
…Buzzkiller Bob, he harshes your high while he lives the high life on the taxpayers dime.
…Never had a real job, Job Robber.
…Kool Klucks Kooppooper, he’s kinda black but the blacks in the South are freer than those up North, for now anyway.
…Stacked Deck Stanley, all his cards are race cards and he’s double dealin.
…The Sheepherder, pulls the wool over your eyes.
…Drone Star Cowboy, it’s Brokeback Mounting and you are always in range, out on the uhhhh, range.
March 11th, 2013 at 6:10 pm
Oblivian!
(That final “a” isn’t a typo, by the way, and do I really need to go into detail regarding his powers?)
March 11th, 2013 at 6:27 pm
Two – Face of course…. one side Alfred E Neuman and the other side Howdy Doody
March 11th, 2013 at 6:31 pm
Turd man-because everywhere he goes, he raises a stink.
March 11th, 2013 at 6:36 pm
….Destroyer of The Western World
March 11th, 2013 at 7:24 pm
The Coyote’s sidekick. (Roadrunner). The Coyote is much smarter than BHO.
March 11th, 2013 at 8:00 pm
Worthless Man
March 11th, 2013 at 10:11 pm
POS man and his cohart lard_ass woman or something
March 12th, 2013 at 12:17 am
Mushroom Man – keeps us in the dark and feeds us $#!+.
March 12th, 2013 at 3:08 am
…the one in the bargain bin.
…the worst supervillain ever! (said in Comic Book Guy’s voice)
…portrayed as the hero because of all the liberals in the comic industry.
March 12th, 2013 at 8:45 am
BaconWaster
-really, can you get any more evil than that?
March 12th, 2013 at 2:19 pm
blank pages man
March 12th, 2013 at 10:50 pm
Girlie Man!
Faster than a slow moving golf ball.
More powerful than a Justin Bieber.
Look … on that girl’s bicycle … wearing a padded helmet and a p%p eating grin … its …it’s … our President!
March 13th, 2013 at 7:45 am
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