Straight Line of the Day: The Appropriate Way to Mark the Passing of Hugo Chavez…
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
The appropriate way to mark the passing of Hugo Chavez…
[NOTE: CNN may have won the award for whitewashed headline on this: "Hugo Chavez, influential leader with mixed record, dies at 58"]
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March 6th, 2013 at 12:03 pm
…is with a Hugo Chavez shaped piñata.
March 6th, 2013 at 12:03 pm
…by passing gas
March 6th, 2013 at 12:03 pm
…is to un-nationalize something. Healthcare perhaps….
March 6th, 2013 at 12:04 pm
is to send snarky condolences to the Axis of Evil
March 6th, 2013 at 12:06 pm
…is with persistent shouts of “I’m not dead yet! (singing) I feel happy! I feel happy! (thud!)”
March 6th, 2013 at 12:09 pm
…making sure his reservation in Hell hasn’t been rescheduled.
March 6th, 2013 at 12:10 pm
…is with fireworks and singing Yub Nub.
March 6th, 2013 at 12:13 pm
turn down the thermostat… guessing he’s rather warm
March 6th, 2013 at 12:15 pm
…by watching the movie Jackass.
March 6th, 2013 at 12:17 pm
…a drone formation flyover
March 6th, 2013 at 12:17 pm
….what? Never seen weekend at Bernies?
March 6th, 2013 at 12:19 pm
…is party in Aruba, Gangnam Style.
March 6th, 2013 at 12:21 pm
…would be to pray for him if you are a Christian!
and if you’re a Ayn Randian-ist Libertarian/Tea person the appropriate thing to do is to tie Chavez’s rise to power to George W. Bush the way that past Libertarians attributed Hitler’s success to Bush’s grandfather. That is what Libertarians do! Why change now?
March 6th, 2013 at 12:28 pm
…is, if you’re Carpenter, to launch another attack against Libertarians and ruin the Internet.
Carpenter, I’m not a Libertarian, but this is getting old.
March 6th, 2013 at 12:29 pm
…is by sending condolences to Sean Penn. He’s probably curled up in the fetal position right now.
March 6th, 2013 at 12:33 pm
…is by getting smashed on Venezuela Libres.
March 6th, 2013 at 12:34 pm
…is to check the battery on your smoke detector.
March 6th, 2013 at 12:39 pm
…is to push a cart down the road saying “Bring out yer’ dead!”.
March 6th, 2013 at 12:40 pm
Leave a message on the Venezueling Wall
March 6th, 2013 at 12:40 pm
…is to go find Sean Penn and give him something to really be sad about….
March 6th, 2013 at 12:41 pm
“Hugo Rafael Chávez Frías”
Frias at Last, Frias at Last, thank G-d Almighty, He got Frias at last!
March 6th, 2013 at 12:42 pm
@ Oppo says:
March 6th, 2013 at 12:40 pm
Tipping my Chavez beret to that one…
March 6th, 2013 at 12:46 pm
Burn sulfur.
March 6th, 2013 at 12:46 pm
…is to actually clean your dishwasher if that little “Clean” light is lit-up.
March 6th, 2013 at 12:51 pm
Uno Polar, por favour!
March 6th, 2013 at 12:53 pm
BREAKING NEWS–Barack Obama, after extending “personal and national condolences to the people of Valenzuela”, announced an Executive Action renaming Pennsylvania Avenue to Hugo Chavez Way and creating a non-stop Acela run from “Maracas, the capitol of Valenzuela” to Washington D.C.
March 6th, 2013 at 12:57 pm
@ 26.Bunkerhillbilly says:
March 6th, 2013 at 12:53 pm
Acela in Hell!
March 6th, 2013 at 1:00 pm
By making a fun-filled 80′s movie with two wacky young actors, called “Weekend At Hugo’s”, of course. You can pretty much picture the rest.
March 6th, 2013 at 1:04 pm
…stick a fork in him…
March 6th, 2013 at 1:04 pm
(Suggestion for rodney dill @2:)
…is to mix whiskey and beans together to form an explosive combination.
March 6th, 2013 at 1:05 pm
…right now he’s so hot he could be a drummer for Spinal Tap.
March 6th, 2013 at 1:08 pm
salute his passing with the adult beverage of your choice, then, at his grave site, pass it on to hugo when you’re done with it.
March 6th, 2013 at 1:08 pm
…is to check my compost pile for rats.
March 6th, 2013 at 1:09 pm
Well, if you are Sean Penn you say that Chavez never should have criticized Shanghai Surprise.
March 6th, 2013 at 1:16 pm
…is to take credit for that one if you are Mitt Romney.
…is to put Hugo on first and have Castro in the on-deck circle.
March 6th, 2013 at 1:34 pm
..is to ring the bells at Notre Dame…oh, wait..wrong Hugo…”never mind”.
March 6th, 2013 at 1:41 pm
This on got it right: “Rep. Tom Cotton, R-Ark., issued a statement saying, “Sic semper tyrannis,” which translates to, “Thus always to tyrants.”
March 6th, 2013 at 1:43 pm
…As did: House Intelligence Committee Chairman Rep. Mike Mike Rogers, R-Mich., “Hugo Chavez was a destabilizing force in Latin America, and an obstacle to progress in the region. I hope his death provides an opportunity for a new chapter in U.S.-Venezuelan relations,”
March 6th, 2013 at 1:52 pm
…is 3 days of only turning left to get to where you want to go.
March 6th, 2013 at 1:53 pm
…like MLB, give it about 5 seconds of your time and then move on.
March 6th, 2013 at 1:59 pm
…well of course we’ll throw poo at him
March 6th, 2013 at 2:01 pm
The Appropriate Way to Mark the Passing of Hugo Chavez…
is by doing a global search and replace on your dead baby jokes web page…
1.) What’s funnier than a dead Hugo? A dead Hugo in a clown costume.
2.) How do you know when a Hugo is a dead Hugo? The dog plays with it more.
3.) How do you make a dead Hugo float? Take your foot off its head.
4.) What’s the difference between a dead Hugo and a trampoline? When you jump on a trampoline, you take your boots off.
March 6th, 2013 at 2:07 pm
@Jack – How do you tell the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead Hugo in the road…. There’s skidmarks in front of the dead dog.
How do you really make a dead Hugo float?….. A quart of root beer and two scoops of dead Hugo….
March 6th, 2013 at 2:29 pm
@Jack – What’s the difference between a truckload of dead Hugo’s and a truckload of bowling balls? You can’t unload the bowling balls with a pitchfork.
The Appropriate Way to Mark the Passing of Hugo Chavez…
1. …draw a mustache on all his posters
2. …is to have all MSM newscasts begin with “…this just in, Hugo Chavez is still dead.”
3. …award the Medal of Freedom to his tumor.
March 6th, 2013 at 2:38 pm
…and now a picture for Weekend At Hugos.
http://www.vthek.net/2013/03/for-lulz.html
March 6th, 2013 at 2:45 pm
….is to grab some TP and wipe your ass, which is standard operating procedure when a sh!t has passed…
March 6th, 2013 at 3:01 pm
… is with a good communist quote: “We will bury you!”
… is with an O/Penn casket.
March 6th, 2013 at 3:09 pm
Sarah Palin used a Map once. She is toast….
March 6th, 2013 at 3:22 pm
…is once again to marvel at his resemblance to puffy faced Ashley Judd and wonder if she is really as stupid as she seems and thus qualified to run a leftist dictatorship like Venezuela further into the ground.
…is to say adios papel higienico and flush.
…should have been an unmarked grave in Bolivia.
March 6th, 2013 at 3:35 pm
…by pulling his finger and making farting noises at the viewing…
March 6th, 2013 at 4:36 pm
…erect a statue in his honor- preferably in the middle of a bird sanctuary.
March 6th, 2013 at 5:02 pm
… creating the special new medal, the Special Order of the Thieving Dictator. Bank account balances of $1 billion and up get you an automatic entry
March 6th, 2013 at 7:09 pm
How about dancing on his grave? Or pissing on it (after celebrating with lots of drinking)? That’s been the standard for centuries! Those who have done it describe it as quite satisfying and something they had looked forward to. I miss the old ways.
March 6th, 2013 at 7:24 pm
.. by saying, “Hugo! Hugo now! You no come back!” ~John Pinette
March 6th, 2013 at 8:03 pm
… by giving him a twenty-one gun salute to the head just to make certain.
March 6th, 2013 at 8:05 pm
… by carving off a leg for my dog.
March 6th, 2013 at 10:57 pm
..is to breathe deeply, the air which is now cleaner.
March 6th, 2013 at 11:00 pm
One down. How many to go?
March 6th, 2013 at 11:03 pm
The appropriate way to mark the passing of Hugo Chavez…
A trip to Disney Land of course, to visit Fantasy Land.
March 6th, 2013 at 11:08 pm
.. Queen:”Another One Bites The Dust”
http://youtu.be/rY0WxgSXdEE
March 6th, 2013 at 11:15 pm
With a “HA HA!” a la Nelson Muntz.
March 7th, 2013 at 12:27 am
Well the service will be a long disrance from me, so I guess I will pee on the grave of someone else I did not care for and pretend it is the grave of Hugo Chavez
March 7th, 2013 at 1:53 am
… I can draw a line through one of the names on my bucket list.
March 7th, 2013 at 6:33 am
You’re welcome.
March 7th, 2013 at 2:00 pm
I can’t seem to find humor here. I thought about marking his demise by growing another chin, but all I can do is hope his last weeks were painful and miserable. I can only hope that barry, the traitors penn, fonda, holder and napalitano also suffer this fate and soon.
On the lighter side, he and teddy can drink together now and determine who has the biggest jowls!
March 7th, 2013 at 2:04 pm
@65 – Humor is easy.
How do you mark the passing of a great man? By doing something that draws attention to his noblest accomplishments.
Hugo is the opposite of a great man, so do the opposite.
Say, by nationalizing the funeral home where his wake is being held.