Straight Line of the Day: The Most Notable Moment During the Female NFL Kicker Tryout…
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
The most notable moment during the female NFL kicker tryout…
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(1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)
March 5th, 2013 at 12:02 pm
… was that she was bigger and stronger than either of the Grammatica brothers.
March 5th, 2013 at 12:04 pm
…was her imaginary girlfriend.
March 5th, 2013 at 12:07 pm
… was when she added 5 yards to the length of her kicks after someone told her that her uniform made her look fat.
… was when the tryouts were delayed for 20 minutes while she decided which pair of cleats went best with her jersey.
… was when the coach’s whistle was thankfully there to protect her from being raped.
March 5th, 2013 at 12:14 pm
…was Brent Musburger’s drooling
March 5th, 2013 at 12:15 pm
…was… what? Kicker? I don’t even know her.
March 5th, 2013 at 12:15 pm
…was Obama’s comment… You didn’t kick that.
March 5th, 2013 at 12:16 pm
@DamnCat FTW!
March 5th, 2013 at 12:16 pm
…the NFL scouts kept trying to figure out if she was a tight end or wide receiver.
March 5th, 2013 at 12:17 pm
…John Madden kept thinking ‘harass’ was two words.
March 5th, 2013 at 12:22 pm
…Chicago passed on her because she wouldn’t bear it.
March 5th, 2013 at 12:31 pm
…was the shower scene.
March 5th, 2013 at 12:34 pm
……was the sheer unadulterated pandering to the prurient interests of people (male and female) who haven’t matured to any appreciable degree since junior high ; P
March 5th, 2013 at 12:37 pm
… was Charlie Brown’s disturbing laughter as he pulled the ball away at the last second.
March 5th, 2013 at 12:48 pm
… was when Maxine Waters worried that this bad performance might cause a few hundred of the other female NFL kickers to lose their jobs.
March 5th, 2013 at 1:08 pm
…was when Tom Hanks yelled at her “there’s no crying in football!”
March 5th, 2013 at 1:16 pm
…was when Obama called her before she kicked to tell her the Force is strong within you, Uhura, go kick a homer for The Gipper!
March 5th, 2013 at 1:57 pm
… was the surprise inclusion of pole dancing at the combine.
March 5th, 2013 at 1:59 pm
…was the presentation of the Sheiswoman Trophy.
March 5th, 2013 at 2:00 pm
. . . was when Xena kicked the ball through the goalpost. They charged her for the replacement later.
March 5th, 2013 at 2:15 pm
… was the NFL’s announcement that field goals by female kickers would be worth 4 points, as a way to make up for past thoughtcrimes in not including women.
March 5th, 2013 at 2:24 pm
…she didn’t want to huddle afterward.
March 5th, 2013 at 2:28 pm
…Jerry Jones getting a black eye…. After the kicker face planted someone asked Jones in front of the kicker, “Do you want her to wear Lawn Jerry?“, and Jerry said, “Yes.”
March 5th, 2013 at 2:33 pm
…when she borrowed Tom Brady’s pads.
…she kept mistaking Obama’s ears for the goalposts and tried to pooch kick instead.
March 5th, 2013 at 2:44 pm
…was the discovery that her name was really Sandra Fluke and all the balls were mysteriously deflated, making them useless for kicking, but when told the team would not pay for her ball control she kicked them anyway, and kicked and kicked and kicked.
March 5th, 2013 at 2:54 pm
When they asked her if she like to kick balls she said yes, when they showed her a football she said, “What’s that?”
March 5th, 2013 at 2:57 pm
…was when she exclaimed “so that is what a football looks like.”
…the confusion of the traininers when she asked for maxi-pads
…a wardrobe malfunction revealing a bright pink jock-strap
March 5th, 2013 at 4:00 pm
… was when she got an offer to play for Ole Ms.
… was when she made the center fold.
… was when the coach told her to lace up, and she made a fair catch.
March 5th, 2013 at 4:18 pm
…was when she kept yelling, “I’m going to kick a home run!”
March 5th, 2013 at 4:24 pm
…was when she broke down in tears, crying “I got nowhere else to go! I got nowhere else to go!”
March 5th, 2013 at 5:04 pm
. . . was Bob Costas’s observation that her kicking shoes didn’t match her purse.
March 5th, 2013 at 5:05 pm
. . . was the kicker’s concern that the holder might break a fingernail.
March 5th, 2013 at 5:19 pm
…was the appearance of the John 3:16 guy, a streaker running across the field ahead of stadium security, and the crowd yelling “GOOOOOOOOOOO IRISH!!!” when she kicked the ball.
March 5th, 2013 at 7:24 pm
. . . was when she tried to pick-up the head cheerleader.
March 5th, 2013 at 7:30 pm
…was the appearance of the John 3:16 guy, a streaker running across the field ahead of stadium security, and Joe Biden yelling “GOOOOOOOOOOO IRISH!!!” when she kicked the ball.
There. Fixed it.
March 5th, 2013 at 8:04 pm
….Was when her “two moms” insisted she be allowed a second kick.
March 5th, 2013 at 8:08 pm
…Was when Michelle Obama showed up on the Jumbo-Tron to announce the winner.
March 5th, 2013 at 9:30 pm
Was the extreme farceness of it all.
March 6th, 2013 at 12:26 am
…is when she tried drinking out of the cup.
March 6th, 2013 at 2:09 pm
…was Obama saying the kicks would have gone further but he accidentally started skeet shooting when it was her turn.
…the booming kicks unfortunately sailed right past Biden’s balcony seat and were caught in his and Jill’s crossfire.
March 7th, 2013 at 7:49 am
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