What Can Realistically Be Done with Detroit?
So the governor of Michigan is going to appoint an emergency manager for Detroit. Well, that’s only a couple decades too later.
So what’s the realistic option to turn around Detroit, though? How desperate would a business have to be to move there given the better option of absolutely every other place in America? We probably should just do the sensible thing and abandon it, build a fence around the area, and put up signs telling people to stay out. Because really he best Detroit can hope to be now is a warning to others.
“But, grandpa, what lies beyond that fence?”
“A place we no longer speak of. A city destroyed.”
“Destroyed by what? A nuclear bomb?”
“Worse: liberalism. The left tried to manage a whole city, and now the place is uninhabitable for a thousand years.”
“But that won’t happen to our town, can it?”
“I hope not, Timmy. I hope not.”
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March 4th, 2013 at 1:07 pm
My first instinct was “nuke it from orbit”; perhaps allowing the Red Wings and Tigers to relocate first.
March 4th, 2013 at 1:18 pm
Do we have reliable numbers on the half-life of liberal contamination? I’m just trying to figure out when such places will be habitable once more.
March 4th, 2013 at 1:18 pm
“What’s Liberalism, Dad?”
“It’s a mental disorder, son.”
“What’s a mental disoder, Daddy?”
“No, I said ‘disorder,’ Timmy, not dis odor.
“Well, it sounds like it stinks.”
“Good boy, Timmy. Want to shoot some squirrels?”
“Sure, Dad. Can I pretend they’re Liberals?”
“Okay, but only pretend, Timmy, by blowing their heads clean off.”
March 4th, 2013 at 1:20 pm
Cut a deal with the governor of Illinois and trade Detroit for East St. Louis.
March 4th, 2013 at 1:29 pm
Insist it be pronounced “DEBT-roit.”
Tell people that the nickname Motown is a reference to Michelle Obama – married to liberal failure.
March 4th, 2013 at 1:34 pm
Put up a fence, but to keep them in, not to keep others out. Really more like quarantining a deadly disease.
March 4th, 2013 at 1:39 pm
There is this place up in North Florida where they take dead bodies and leave them lying around to see what happens as time goes by. Something about set design ideas for CSI episodes and Science! at work. Anyway…
We could treat DEBTroit the same way. Put a fence up, a couple of signs, and leave it out in the elements and see what happens as natures does it’s work. Put a couple of those fancy time-lapse cameras around the place and in about 25 years we can make some kind of Imax documentary about what happens when Cities are left inhabited only by the liberals who think its someone else’s responsibility for 25 years.
March 4th, 2013 at 1:47 pm
John Ringo had the solution for Detroit, it’s at the end of The Last Centurion.
March 4th, 2013 at 2:10 pm
give it to canada. eh?
March 4th, 2013 at 2:12 pm
Stampeding bulls… of the bulldozer variety.
March 4th, 2013 at 2:36 pm
Make it the main set in a story about Mrs. O’leary’s cow.
Serves two purposes that way by ridding us of an eyesore and warning the next one.
March 4th, 2013 at 3:49 pm
They’re drunk, not stupid.
March 4th, 2013 at 4:02 pm
It could be the Capital City of the Socialist Democracy of OBAMICA during the next Civil War. Other than that I’d say it pretty useless.
March 4th, 2013 at 4:06 pm
Sell it to Omni Consumer Products so they can tear it down and build Delta City.
March 4th, 2013 at 5:16 pm
@12 DamnCat
drunk works if we move fast, before they sober up.
March 4th, 2013 at 5:33 pm
I live there…. and I am still inclined to just build a fence around it. Anything not “downtown” looks like Nagasaki circa 1945
March 4th, 2013 at 10:18 pm
Build a fence then send in some guy named “snake”
March 5th, 2013 at 12:57 am
Pawn it to those guys at Pawn Stars. Hold your ground and insist on $50.00 for it.
March 5th, 2013 at 1:26 am
If all else fails:
http://youtu.be/EM-lxsxeXBI
March 5th, 2013 at 8:34 am
Blow it up and start over? Those who have been infected by the liberal morass must be corralled and separated from the general population. An island off the coast of Alaska might be a good idea. Let them build something of their very own all by themselves. Should be interesting.
March 5th, 2013 at 8:39 am
Oh and raping the women reference, not cool. The dipstick that lays his hands on me will find himself “Bobbitized”. It is the last time he’ll get to stick that thing anywhere except a box in his sock drawer.