for years I told people I was asexual because I thought it meant “The best sexual”
— Steve Murray (@NPsteve) March 11, 2013
I got the monkey off my back but now it’s attacking my face.
— Jon Friedman (@friedmanjon) March 11, 2013
Between the sugary drink ban being overturned and Hugo Chavez dying, it’s been a tough six days for billionaire dictators.
— Tim Siedell (@badbanana) March 11, 2013
“How dare the courts rule my soda policy arbitrary and capricious? It’s merely nonsensical and random.”–Mayor Bloomberg
— Kyle Smith (@rkylesmith) March 11, 2013
Whenever I see an empty motorcycle sidecar, I pause and say a prayer for what I assume is someone’s dead orangutan.
— Jason Miller (@longwall26) March 11, 2013