Trust me, you’d never eat mobsters again if you saw them being made.

— Sixth Form Poet (@sixthformpoet) February 28, 2013

Be sure to check out my new HBO series “Bois,” the story of three twentysomething guys in Brooklyn and their roommate W.E.B. DuBois

— Will Rahn (@willrahn) February 28, 2013

Obama has two speeds: Golf and Attack.

— Jim Treacher (@jtLOL) February 28, 2013

Maybe if we re-name it Bottom-Lip Hitler Mustache we can finally make positive steps toward eradicating the soul patch.

— Michael J Nelson (@michaeljnelson) February 28, 2013

I’m dying for a breakfast cereal but I’d also like to eat some superstitious symbols of good fortune. Not sure what my options are here.

— Jason Miller (@longwall26) February 28, 2013

Drunk girls click “reply all” when they talk.

— Bryan Donaldson (@TheNardvark) February 28, 2013

“Eighty percent of success is looking like chocolate chips. Ha ha, fooled you.” — Raisins

— Robot Chicken (@cyborgturkey) February 28, 2013

Good burn: “I agree with your commenters.”

— Sean Thomason (@TheThomason) February 28, 2013

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