I’ll Bet Obama’s Sheepdog Is None Too Pleased, Either

[High Praise! to After Math]

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The Viciousest Circle

[High Praise! to The Looking Spoon]

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Budgetary Michael Moore

During a speech on the Senate floor, Harry Reid claimed that over the past two years the government has reduced the deficit by $2.5 trillion.

That’s kinda like a fat guy bragging his diet is successful because he didn’t eat every scrap of food in the house.

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How to Get Under President Thin-Skin’s Thin Skin

[High Praise! to Freedom Is Just Another Word]

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Link of the Day: New Disability Discovered: COLD SORES

[High Praise! to Nuking Politics]

New Disability Discovered: COLD SORES

[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]

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Wisdom of the Day: Fools Lie Batman Comic Equality

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Or Possibly an Imaginary One

A new report concludes that Elizabeth Warren’s argument for a $22-an-hour minimum wage “makes zero economic sense.”

Huh. I would’ve guessed it’d be a negative number.

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Video Games: Black Ops 2

So I played through Call of Duty: Black Ops 2, and what’s to say? It’s Call of Duty. You have a good single player campaign, well-acted (and written by one of the scribes from Dark Knight), but the main thing is the multiplayer which I would still be playing if I didn’t have other games to get to. I like how they changed killstreak to scorestreak so people wouldn’t just focus on kills when they should be doing things like capturing the flag.

Anyway, my one big complaint about the game: The guns are stupid looking. They’re big weird blocky things. This is because the game takes place in the future, so they’re supposed to be new future guns. Except it takes place in 2025 — only 12 years in the future. Think about what guns were like back in 2001 versus today. Pretty much no noticeable difference. Yet, I’m supposed to believe in the next 12 years there will be some sort of gun renaissance where there will be basically no recognizable guns left but only weird-looking things.

Come on, people; one of the reasons people like these games is the realistic guns, so don’t throw this future crap at us.

Oh, and a question for people who play Call of Duty: Do you like that zombie mode? I’ve tried it a couple times and don’t get it. You shoot zombies until you die, trying to get a high score — except they’re kind boring zombies to shoot. People enjoy that?

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Obama Warned Us – Dreams

The true test of the American ideal is whether we’re able to recognize our failings and then rise together to meet the challenges of our time. Whether we allow ourselves to be shaped by events and history, or whether we act to shape them. Whether chance of birth or circumstance decides life’s big winners and losers, or whether we build a community where, at the very least, everyone has a chance to work hard, get ahead, and reach their dreams.

BARACK OBAMA, speech, Jun. 4, 2005

“To that end, my Dream Czar will create a Dream Panel to issue Dream Permits and Dream Waivers to ensure that dreams are distributed fairly”.

A dream ain’t a dream without government approval.

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No Way This Won’t Be the Greatest Show Ever

New trailer for the upcoming Axe Cop cartoon:

BTW, I hope Wexter is in the cartoon. He would definitely make a good addition the military of the future.

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Straight Line of the Day: Apple Was Denied a Trademark for the Word “Mini”, But Did Manage to Trademark…

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

Apple was denied a trademark for the word “Mini”, but did manage to trademark…

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Things Obama Can Teach Us

So it was announced by the White House that April is “National Financial Capability Month” in which Obama is going to teach young people “how to budget responsibly.” Presumably this is some sort of April Fools joke, but they might actually be serious. We’re talking a guy presiding over $16 trillion in debt teaching people how to responsibly use money. I can see the headline now:

“President Obama Teaches Classroom of Young People How to Budget; There Were No Survivors”

Maybe we should find some other things Obama would be more qualified to teach:

* Golf
* Writing memoirs for fun and profit
* Blame deflection

Man, I was going to do a whole list here, but I think that pretty much covers about all of Obama’s abilities. Maybe he should start taking night school and learn some useful skills.

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Bacon Mouthwash!

[High Praise! to Anonymiss of Nuking Politics]

Sadly, an April Fools gag, but I share it anyway because in these dark times, mankind needs the hope this dream can bring:

[YouTube direct link] (Viewer #3,731,221)

NOTE: Between the time Anonymiss sent me the link and the time I posted this, I think someone left a link to it in the comments, but I can’t find it. If it was you, let me know so that I can update with some HP! for you, too.

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Random Thoughts: Fools

My favorite Google April Fools joke was the announcement of GMail. Over a GB of storage space for free? Come on.

It really did seem like a joke at the time since the only other internet mail for free gave you like 2 MB of space.

The joke is there is neither rational arguments for or against gay marriage.

The joke Netflix categories are a good April Fools prank because it’s just on the edge of believability.

Meet my imaginary friends Fairness, Equality, and Snuffleupagus. They tell me my political positions.

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Horatio Alger Hiss

Barack Obama’s life is truly inspirational.

It’s a real rags-to-other-people’s-riches story.

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