And Now a Reading From the Book of Obama

[High Praise! to Grandpa John]
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“As Cyprus and the European Union demanded that banks extract a good bit of its citizens’ savings, some came to Him saying, “Great Orator, we know that you are the most intelligent one and truthful and teach the way of god faithfully and defer to no one. Tell us therefore, what do you think? Is it lawful for the federal government to take citizens’ savings?””

“But Obama perceived their confusion and said, “You silly cradle-to-grave wards of the state, show me the currency to be taken by the state.””

“And they brought him a dollar bill.”

“And He said to them, “Whose likeness and inscription is this?””

“They said to Him, “Washington’s.””

“He said to them, “Then render to Washington the things that are Washington’s, and to god… meh.””

“And hearing this, they marveled, and leaving Him, they went away to buy guns and stock up on ammunition.”
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A Shiny New Donkey to Anyone Who Can Figure Out a Way to Parody This, Because I’ve Got Nothing

[High Praise! to Sondrakistan (NSFW)]


[MRC direct link]

This is the most horrifying thing I’ve ever heard. The worst part is that she isn’t waxing metaphorical. She means every word literally and sincerely.

[title reference link]

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The Obvious Test

Colorado lawmakers are struggling to set a legal limit on how high marijuana users can be and still drive.

Simple: if you laugh at one of Bill Maher’s jokes, pull over.

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Rhymin’ Like Johnny Cochran

[High Praise! to Irritable Pundit]

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Link of the Day: Easter With Joe Biden

[High Praise! to Nuking Politics]

I am Joe: Easter

BONUS LINK:

[High Praise! to The Hope For America]

Conservatives Should Learn From These Great Moments In Margaret Thatcher’s Life

[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]

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Wisdom of the Day: Pub Spacecraft Matrix Dinosaur Singer Racist

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Brain Map!

President Obama wants to spend $100 million on a project to create a detailed map of the human brain.

I’ll do Biden’s for free: “Gaffes”, “Inappropriate Laughter”.

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Obama Warned Us – Adults

What Washington needs is adult supervision.

BARACK OBAMA, fundraising letter, Oct. 2006

“It doesn’t HAVE it, though, so I’ll be able to do ANY. THING. I. WANT.”

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Navy Lasers and the Great Debate

So the Navy has a new laser which it used to shoot a drone out of the sky.

Of course, this leads to the contentious debate: When we genetically resurrect dinosaurs for use in the military, should we consider putting lasers on them instead of rocket launchers?

Now, you know I’ve always been pro-rocket launchers on dinosaurs. Rocket launchers blow things up; it seems like the obvious addition to the natural strengths of the dinosaur. But others say it should be lasers. Lasers are high tech, and that compliments the high tech nature of genetically resurrected dinosaurs. Still, I think the explosions of rocket launchers are cooler and I’m just not as impressed by lasers unless they actually make the “Pew! Pew!” sound like in the movies.

What say you?

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Straight Line of the Day: White House Music Party!

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

The White House, at taxpayer expense, will host a concert featuring Justin Timberlake, Al Green, Ben Harper, Queen Latifah, Cyndi Lauper, Joshua Ledet, Sam Moore, Charlie Musselwhite, Mavis Staples, and others. The highlight of the evening will be…

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The Depths of the Left’s Sociopathy

Moloch was this god that people long ago supposedly sacrificed their children to. They’d actually burn their children alive in the bronze hands of this idol — a priest beating a drum to drown out their cries — and this was all done to appease the god and earn themselves a better future. It seems rather fantastical — who could really do this to their children — but then we see the account of Kermit Gosnell who murdered countless infants — some screaming as he did it — and the media reaction is silence.

Is this where reproductive rights is now? Children cry out in pain as they’re murdered have to be ignored? This is our sacrifice to Moloch to gain… what exactly? When people embraced the blood and murder of abortion, there isn’t a bottom to the depths they’d have to sink to continue to justify it in their minds. Yet, it’s horrific to watch it play out. The brutal slaughter of infants — born alive and their spinal cords severed — and all the righteous abortion advocates can do is turn their heads away.

Whenever in the future the left accuse the right of awful things like racism or pretend to care about children or anyone else, remember their reaction — or lack thereof — to Kermit Gosnell and his countless, horrific murders. There is nothing so horrible they can accuse others of that will match what they’ve become to justify their violence.

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Cartoon of the Day – Name Game

MichaelRamirez20130408
[Source: Michael Ramirez – GoComics]

Yes, we’ve touched on this a couple of times already. As a former news reporter, though, this one kinda hits hard. I hate what reporting has become.

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Random Thoughts: Useless Gun Control, Star Trek, and Society

The only way choosing between Obama’s useless gun control and the NRA will lead to dead kids is if Obama is threatening to murder them.

I thought we fought a war to keep a collective from owning our kids or am I thinking of Star Trek?

I think all Senators should be bugged. I don’t trust any of those guys.

I’m all for bugging each others campaigns being the new norm. I’m guessing the left say much more interesting things in private.

There is nothing the left can accuse the right of as horrible as this issue they choose to remain silent about.

Is that what the “women’s rights” is now? Having to ignore a screaming child as she’s murdered?

Very proud of my daughter today. For the first time ever, she correctly answered a “why are you doing something” question. Usually it’s: “Why are you crying?” “Because I’m crying!” Seems like a communication milestone to get past that.

It’s dangerous trying to grab any of my guns because they’re very protective of each other.

First it’s “their society’s children” and then it’s “that’s society’s bacon” and then violence and screaming and I have a good night’s sleep.

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Also, It Lacks the Fetid Stench of Socialism

At a “workshop” held in the State Dining Room of the White House, First Lady Michelle Obama told the assembled guests that “this is your house, too.”

Yeah, except at MY house, I’m allowed to eat dessert.

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You’ve Been Judged!

Keln of Nuking Politics picked his favorite punchlines to “In response to rising crime rates, Oakland, California…

Click here to see if you made the cut.

If you did, you should probably email him about becoming a guest blogger there.

If you didn’t, he’s got another straight line for you to practice on.

Keep trying. No one likes a quitter.

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