Can’t Wait for Obama to Try THIS One…

[High Praise! to Freedom Is Just Another Word]

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The Very Definition of “Mixed Emotions”

The GAO said that government agencies are paying millions of dollars for reports that they could have gotten online for free.

I’m kinda torn between “shame on them” and “how do I get in on this?”

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If Only These Were Real…

[High Praise! to American Digest]

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Link of the Day: Obama Really IS the Greatest President in the History of Everything

[High Praise! to EdThePastor and]

Marx on Monday: Who is the greatest President of them all?

[title reference link]

[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]

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Wisdom of the Day: Ricin Superman Sanford Kent CNN Trusting Unemployment Benghazi Dad Cretins

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You’ve Been Judged!

Anonymiss of Nuking Politics picked her favorite punchlines to “When asked to explain why global warming has stopped, climate scientists…

Click here to see if you made the cut.

If you did, you should probably email Keln about becoming a guest blogger there.

If you didn’t, Anonymiss has got another straight line for you to practice on.

Keep trying. No one likes a quitter.

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The Goggles! They Do Nothing!

A California legislator proposed moving the state’s bar-closing time from 2am to 4am.

Sorry fellas, even 2 more hours of drinking can’t make California’s economy look attractive.

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Obama Warned Us – Believe

Americans … still believe in an America where anything’s possible — they just don’t think their leaders do.

BARACK OBAMA, fundraising letter, Sep. 1, 2006

“…And now they’re right.”

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Straight Line of the Day: The Most Interesting Feature Incorporated Into Google Glasses…

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

The most interesting feature incorporated into Google Glasses

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The End of Gun Control

Oh, man. We made Obama mad with voting down even his most water-downed gun bill. He scrunched up his little face, shook his tiny fist, and was all like, “Quack quack.” Which is the sound a duck makes. A lame one. And if you’re wondering why Obama got all mad about this and not about something like Benghazi, that’s because this wasn’t just some ambassador or other people he didn’t care about being killed — this was actually an attack on him! He stuck his neck out on this, and he couldn’t even get all the senators in his own party to go along. He looks like a complete doof, and the more he goes on about how this bill had 90% support, the more useless he makes himself look. Really you had a bill with 90% support — something pretty much unheard of — and you couldn’t even get all of your own party to go along? You must be the most ineffectual leader to ever hold the office, Obama.

But one amendment almost did get passed. We were only 3 votes shy of getting national reciprocity laws. Dang it.

So now that even watered down background checks bills won’t even get passed, can we finally admit gun control is completely dead as an issue and never coming back? And thus can you stop trotting out grieving families to pass useless laws that would have done nothing to prevent any of these tragedies? I mean, really, the more you gun control idiots stomp and gnash your teeth about this, the more you look like out of touch idiots. Everyone except you morons understand this background check law was useless — at its best, it would cost millions, inconvenience law-abiding gun owners, and maybe stop one or two really lazy, really stupid criminals from getting a gun. But to understand that, gun control proponents would actually have to look at these issues logically and rationally instead of just being emotional and constantly throwing hissy fits. I mean, look at Joe Scarborough going on about how this vote no rational person cares about is going to sink the GOP. Joe, you aren’t the reasonable one on this issue — and I know being the “reasonable one” is what you cherish above all thing — but you are now just an emotional idiot throwing a fit over a pointless law because you don’t take this issue seriously enough to actually deal with reality.

Fine, you anti-gun ninnies, keep throwing your little fits. As you can see from the recent vote in the Senate, we’re ignoring you now.

Well, except when we make fun of you. Like look at this NRA ad taking on Bloomberg’s nonsense:

If you gun control guys took this seriously at all, you’d actually first learn a thing or two about guns. But that’s been the problem in the gun debate: Only one side actually take this seriously. The other just likes to scream a lot. And even dead kids isn’t enough to make them sit down and finally think rationally about the subject. And that’s why the country left them behind.

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Random Thoughts: Gun Gloating

There are free cell phones for illegal immigrants. Just go to ICE and say, “I’m an illegal immigrant,” and they’ll give you one.

I thought it was a false flag operation but I just had never seen a Puerto Rican flag before.

I was really crossing my fingers the suspect would be a woman this time for diversity’s sake.

CNN: “Sorry. We have one source that always lies and one that always tells the truth and we’ve never been able to figure which is which.”

Was watching CNN and heard James Earl Jones say, “This is not CNN.”

We’re going to get another Sandy Hook if we don’t pass gun control laws that would have done nothing to stop Sandy Hook.

I like guns and freedom and America and nachos.

Can now we declare the gun control issue officially dead in America and recognize that it’s never coming back? #MoveOn

Yes, there are people who were for expanded background check since 1999 who are against them now. That’s now dead that useless issue is.

I’d take your outrage over gun violence more seriously if you didn’t immediately latch onto completely useless gun control measures.

So now that we’re done with this crap, anyone have any ideas for things that might actually stop violent crime?

I actually wouldn’t have been outraged if the bill passed. It just seemed rather useless.

Obama: “Everyone was against Obamacare and we got that passed. People were actually for this one!”

I don’t really this respect this president very much but as long as he doesn’t bother me I don’t care.

So 90% of people passionately believed in this bill and Obama couldn’t get it passed? Man he sucks at being president.

A lot of these gun control proponents seem really emotional and irrational; I hope a background check will keep them from getting guns.

If all you gun control people are still upset about kids being killed, maybe you can redirect your ire against Kermit Gosnell.

They say we don’t have to worry about gun grabbing anymore; does that mean all the people for it a decade or two ago apologized?

You get money for supporting guns? Why have all of us suckers been doing it for free?

Doesn’t it show what a safe, civilized society we have that people have no fear insulting those who own guns?

If your plans all hinge on the fantasy of keeping the murderous from getting guns, then you’re the one okay with more Sandy Hooks.

I bet Romney would have gotten pointless gun control passed.

All the ones obsessing on this bill that wouldn’t have prevented Sandy Hook are the ones not taking those deaths seriously.

Freedom is powered by liberals’ tears.

Harry Reid voted against the amendment for procedural reasons and because he’s old and easily confused.

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President Pandemic

China plans to vaccinate 90,000 pigeons to help ward off the spread of the latest avian flu.

Wonder if they got the idea from watching Obama’s policies inoculate America against the spread of prosperity?

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