Eat Bacon, Live Forever!

[High Praise! to Les of Nuking Politics]

Of course, every good Moon Nuker already suspected this:

Bacon. It’s the secret of life, or one of many, according to Pearl Cantrell, and she would know, after just celebrating her 105th birthday.

“I love bacon, I eat it everyday”, says Pearl, “I don’t feel as old as I am, that’s all I can say”, she explains.

The American Journal of Medicine can go play in traffic.

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The Face of Domestic Terrorism

[High Praise! to Les Nuking Politics]

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I’ve Noticed Obama Does This a LOT

In a speech near the site of the Newtown school shooting, President Obama accused Republicans of stooping to political stunts to block gun control laws.

Or so I read in “Pot & Kettle Magazine”.

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I’m Curious to See If I Could Deserve This Award

4of7 [High Praise!] nominated me for the “Coolest SOB In The Conservative Blogosphere Award 2013” (for those with, um, “adult language sensitivities”, that stands for “Sweet Old Blogger”), which is described as:

When I first started blogging, I sent a tip to Andrew Brietbart on just on a whim. It was before he became so famous by bringing down ACORN, but he still was a big time blogger. I almost fell down when I received a return email. I first thought it was a robo-email until I read it. He thanked me and said that he had already run story, but that he appreciated my effort.

I remember thinking “that is one cool SOB.” He took time out of his busy schedule to answer an email from a nobody blogger who was a stranger to boot.

He is not the only blogger out there that excels in: all around coolness, class, common courtesy, etiquette, selflessness, and genuine respect for the efforts of other conservative bloggers – no matter how minimum.

So in honor of him and other classy SOBS like him, I am kicking off the first annual “Coolest SOB In The Conservative Blogosphere” award.

Setting false modesty aside, I think that sounds a lot like me.

Now, voting doesn’t actually begin until June, and I’ll mention this again when that time rolls around, but meanwhile I’d like to ask that if I’ve ever given you High Praise! or bacon or used a link you sent in, or just responded to your email or your comment in a way that made you feel good about yourself, consider voting for me when the day comes.

Also, if you want, in the comments below, feel free to say why you’d vote for me. I’d be interested in hearing your stories.

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Link of the Day: History! The Apollo 13 Towing Bill

[High Praise! to Rick of Brutally Honest]

43 years ago today

BONUS LINK:

[High Praise! to The Hope for America]

The 12 Finest Examples Of Left-Wing Frustration After The Senate Voted Against Gun Control

Full of schadenfreudey goodness, but VERY NSFW because angry liberals are utterly incapable of keeping a civil tongue. Lots of f-bombs & whatnot.

[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]

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Wisdom of the Day: Alphabet Pics Snails Fun Clothes Caps Maroon Thumbs

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Me Wanty Watch!

PETA says it wants to launch a drone program to spy on hunters.

Expect YouTube to start drowning in slo-mo videos of buckshot hitting camera lenses.

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Super Punch!

So, there is a new trailer for Man of Steel and it is looking like it could be pretty awesome:

It’s hard to do a good Superman story, and it’s for the same reasons it’s hard for a video game to be challenging when you put on god mode. Superman is pretty much invincible and has like every super power (except for talking to fish), so it’s like how do you challenge him?

Anyway, it’s good that Zod is the villain, because what a good Superman movies needs is someone Superman can super punch without holding back because super punching is awesome (and we get some glimpses of that at the end of the trailer). I mean, what did Superman get to fight in the last movie? An island? That movie was so boring.

And I’m not sure on Amy Adams as Lois Lane. Lois is supposed to be tough and Amy Adams doesn’t seem like she can pull off tough. Still, I really like her as an actress, so we’ll see.

Now when do we get the Aquaman movie?

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You’ve Been Judged!

Anonymiss of Nuking Politics picked her favorite punchlines to “The most interesting feature incorporated into Google Glasses…

Click here to see if you made the cut.

If you did, you should probably email Keln about becoming a guest blogger there.

If you didn’t, Anonymiss has got another straight line for you to practice on.

Keep trying. No one likes a quitter.

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Obama Warned Us – Prosperity

I think that one of the things that we all agree to is that the touchstone for economic policy is, does it allow the average American to find good employment and see their incomes rise; that we can’t just look at things in the aggregate, we do want to grow the pie, but we want to make sure that prosperity is spread across the spectrum of regions and occupations and genders and races; and that economic policy should focus on growing the pie, but it also has to make sure that everybody has got opportunity in that system.

BARACK OBAMA
, New York Times, Apr. 28, 2009

“Everybody except… you know… the people who actually make the pie grow.”

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Don’t Stereotype Men as Mad Bombers

I hate it how bombers are almost always men. I think this leads to people unfairly stereotype men as loving to blow stuff up, when that couldn’t be further from the truth.

Well, no, I guess it is true that we men love explosions. Explosions are awesome; that’s just a fact. But we can love explosions without wanting people to be blown up by them.

Well, actually, explosions are much more awesome if someone evil is blown up by them — like a Communist. So while it’s true that we men like evil people being blown up, we don’t… I forget what I was talking about. I’m too busy now fantasizing about strapping a bomb to a Communist and launching him with a catapult so that he blows up mid air. That would be so awesome.

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Straight Line of the Day: During His Secret Meeting With the Saudi Foreign Minister, President Obama…

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

During his secret meeting with the Saudi Foreign Minister, President Obama…

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The Suspects

So the right were all like, “I bet they’re Muslims!” — because, you know, history. And the left were all, “I hope it’s white people!” — because, you know, hopes of demagoguery. Ends up it’s white Muslims, so yay for everyone. But for the sake of tolerance, let’s act surprised that the suspects are Muslim.

And now I hope the Boston police safely get the last suspect — and anyone else if anyone else is involved — and isn’t very nice about it.

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Random Thoughts: Reciprocity, Suspects, and Gorm

What arguments against national reciprocity for conceal carry isn’t refuted by the peace in the 40 states with shall issue laws?

I mean, some people still argue the “Wild West” will break out if conceal carry is expanded. These people have no connection with reality.

So, without the 60 vote threshold, we’d have more background checks but we’d also have national reciprocity. I’d have made that trade.

There are 40+ states with right to carry. There have been no problems. Any objections you have to conceal carry are emotional and stupid.

FACT: Despite universal support for gun rights in the modern era, there were cities in America that banned handguns as recently as 2010.

I was already beating up anyone wearing a baseball cap backwards so I’m good.

I never thought the douchebags would turn violent.

No matter how rich you are, eventually XX gets you.

If you see some douche try to buy a pressure cooker, you report that.

“If you wore the hat normal, it would help conceal your face.”
“No. I just can’t be that non-douchey.”

Well, at least it’s nice the suspect is someone we can all come together hating: guys who wear baseball caps backwards.

“Gormless” is bad? To me, “gorm” sounds like something you don’t want.

Was a long time ago the grandfather clock known as just the father clock?

Or maybe even longer ago “kid clock.”

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Cartoon of the Day – Club

20130418ChuckAsay
[Source: Chuck Asay – GoComics]

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