Bacon Shaving Cream!

[High Praise! to]

Shave like a man. Like a manly, baconly man!

There is a secret code amongst all men that consists of three B’s. Each of these B’s symbolizes one facet of what men consider manly: Bacon, Beards, and Boyz II Men. Some say the last B is Backstreet Boys, but we say that makes 4 B’s and ruins everything. The three B’s of Manliness require daily completion so that an individual may leave his home at his peak manliness. This can be easily completed with breakfast, a shave, and “On Bended Knee.” But, if you don’t have the time for three things, may we suggest consolidating the first two with Bacon Shaving Cream.

Just like the ladies sneaking in blue Chucks on their wedding day for something blue, Bacon Shaving Cream removes the necessity for breakfast and frees up more time to beat rush hour traffic. Or, it lets you listen to a second track from the hit album “II”. Every man needs the three B’s and some days there just isn’t enough time. So, consolidate like a man.

Huh… I always thought the 3rd B of manliness was “Bieber“…

[CAUTION: Link above contains gratuitous cinematic violence]

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  1. Wait, I thought it was bacon, beards, and beer. But what do I know I’m just one of those damn thieving scum of the earth libertarians.


  2. Backstreet Boys? Boyz II MEn? BIEBER?!?

    More like Butt Buddies.

    Try Black Sabbath, Boston, or Black Label Society.


  3. Or Bare Naked Ladies, the band not the state in which men like to find women. Did I just write that aloud? Sorry my bad. It’s late and I’m really tired.



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